katra72 Posted September 3, 2004 Posted September 3, 2004 I have just got back with an ex after a year. He came to me telling me he made a mistake and he loves me etc. Something is bothering me. He said he only wants to see me on weekends. Saturday night and sunday in the day. He only lives 10 minutes away from me and has no car at the moment but I am not happy with seeing him on sat/sun. I want to see him once during the middle of the week. We both love eachother and I don't understand why he is doing this. We used to see eachother once during the week when we were together. I don't feel I am in a relationship with this weekend arrangement. Especially when some sundays are out of the question due to other committments which leaves only a saturday night. We are not dating like newbies we are in a serious relationship and this timetable is making me miserable. Am I being unreasonable or too needy? I only know what I feel and I feel like crying. He is the one who came back to me saying how much he loved me and wanted to be with me and I am the one feeling he is drawing away or trying to hold the relationship back or something. Even when he calls me to talk on the phone he tries to get off early and his tone of voice sounds like he is putting me in my place or drawing some kind of boundary or limit that he alone determines. When we are togther he is very loving and affectionate, telling me how much he loves me, that we have a serious relationship with a future etc
rogueless Posted September 4, 2004 Posted September 4, 2004 It sounds like he is dating someone else too, and using you for a "booty call." If he wants everything on his terms and you have no say so, its not a healthy relationship. I hope I'm wrong, but with the little I have to go on, it appears to me that he is just using you.
Starnette83 Posted September 5, 2004 Posted September 5, 2004 he maybe wants to be the one in control of the relationship, next time say "sorry but im busy Sunday" i think this will be a shocker for himc uz he knows u look forawrd to seeing him Saturday and Sunday, ...if u do this , he will REACT..liek "what shes busy to see me?" Get off the passenger seater and take the Wheel!!! And if he seems so hesitatnt o gety off phone fast (something ive dealth with!!) dont call him often, say "i wont be home, so ill call u when i can"... and then call him at an odd hour..like til 7pm, and then just be like "hey..blabla for like 5 min and then rush off and say ure gonna go shower or watch a tv show..trust me, he will realize it this way!! guys dont listen to : "baby why dont u talk to me so much", baby Why dont us ee me more ofthen" when u act this way they think of it as needy n clingy or as they call it "Drama-Nagging" so instead do what i said above, act normal, chill..and u will see him drawn to you!!! Men r weird remember?
beautiful Posted September 6, 2004 Posted September 6, 2004 People will do to you what you ALLOW them to do to you! So what do you want out of this? Starnette83......................men are not weird! Men and women all want the very same out of life. Women are more emotional , men are not. It is truly that simple. If women would learn more about men and understand them , there would not be so many broken hearts and all this drama. Think about this for one moment....women that allow men to treat them bad are teaching men it is ok to treat me bad because after all I love you so much! What a bunch of puppy poop! Women need to stop doing that. What about the woman that gets beat up every day? what about the women that lives with an alcoholic or drug user? Oh she loves him so much that it is ok to treat her bad! Give me a break here! I am a smart and beautiful woman and I must say that women that allow this sorta of abuse, deserve what they have. There is not one man alive on this earth that could treat me badly and I sit there and allow it. So let's not be so fast to say men are weird, after all, these women allowing this to go on and all in the name of love! We truly need to set a healthy and positive example with men. The ones that are dysfunctional need help and loving him is not going to help him. So gurls lets take some responsibilities here and know that a man will only treat me as good as I treat myself. That goes with all people that come into our lives and even family at times. Yes there are some sick men out there and for every sick man there is a sick women allowing him to treat her bad all in the name of love!
nikkicam Posted September 6, 2004 Posted September 6, 2004 Katra, Dude...chill! don't sweat the small stuff. Don't you have other stuff you can do w/ your life besides worrying about how many times a week you get to see your bf?? Maybe he's trying to go slow, maybe he's trying to balance the way that he feels about you with his challenged sense of independence, whatever the case may be, just be happy in the moment when you're with him and stop stressing about what he's doing when he's not with you! Happiness is a CHOICE. You can either bug out and be miserable b/c he isn't complying with your idea of what your relationship "should" be, or you can just release all of the negativity and enjoy exactly what your relationship IS at this moment in time. If you don't let it go, resentment and control issues will fester. There was a reason for the first breakup...don't let there be a reason for another one. Just my opinion, for what it's worth. ~Nikki
katra72 Posted September 6, 2004 Posted September 6, 2004 Thanx guys I especially like what Nikkicam said. I feel you are right, especially after having a chat with him yesterday. I will enjoy the moment and let it develop and grow at its own pace. Maybe it all boiled down to insecurities on my part and that's my problem to deal with. I will be more positive about what I have.
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