nenepii Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 recently, the guy i had been dating for about a year and i broke up. specifically, he broke up with me on the grounds that 1.) he was not ready for a committed relationship and 2.) that he was tired of all of our fighting. his rupture from our relationship came to me as a bit of a surprise, because i did not think he would break up with me, considering i was the one who often mentioned how we needed to break up. that night, i cried for about 5 minutes. they were pretty hard tears, considering i realized that i--literally--would probably never be in his arms again. i went home and fell asleep. the following day, (last) Friday, i woke up feeling bad, so i took the day off work. i called him midday to ask when i could go over to exchange belongings. he said Sunday evening. i did not cry that night, even after several whiskey sours. on Saturday, a couple of tears rolled down my cheek before i got up to do my errands. on Sunday, before seeing him, i cried for about 3 minutes, while i listened to a song that reminds me of him. then i fixed my makeup, went over, exchanged belongings and some heartfelt words, and hugged each other goodbye. a couple of tears rolled down my cheek when he hugged me. i went home and watched a movie. while we were breaking up, he cried a lot. more than i did. in fact, he asked me why i was not crying and wanted to know if i was just not hurting. when i saw him on Sunday, he let me know that he, basically, was at a friend's house Friday, Saturday, and most of Sunday, trying to be OK. he was visibly upset and on the verge of tears. i know i am not OK. i mean, i called out sick on Friday, i did not turn in my weekend homework assignments, and missed class on Monday. i am also getting out of bed about one hour later than i normally do, because getting up suddenly got a little harder. but, why am i not crying, as i feel i should be? i know myself, and i know i am very emotional. i feel like i am not taking this the way i should be. perhaps this is because my only real frame of reference was a breakup so devastating, that i thought i would die (how silly, i know). i do not know if i am repressing my feelings or if i, for some reason, just am not really feeling the loss. i am not in denial in that i know it is over, and i have no desire to see him at all right now. as odd as it sounds, i feel like i am spending more time wondering why i am not grieving than i am actually grieving. maybe i am broken. has this ever happened to any of you?
Sav Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 It will come. Dont have to force it. I had the same problem as you. Trust me, it will come and you will feel better.
cavalier99 Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 Hmmm. Maybe because you were already thinking of breaking up with him you had already processed some thing. Do you think he preemptive broke up with you. Was he sensing that you might leave? Even though he pulled the trigger maybe emotionally you are more like the dumper. Are you relieved? Sounds to me like you weren't as invested in the relationship as him possibly?? Might be an easy BU for you. Do you want him back if he changed his mind? Just my thoughts. Cav
JD89 Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 My GF broke with me just shy of 4 years. Never cried, though I wanted to. I know every time I tried to cry I would get angry instead. Sometimes your body reacts differently than you expect.
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