phatmatt777 Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 Yep, thats the line I got today with the newest girl in my life. She's fantastic, we've been seeing each other for about a month now. Have a lot in common, I make her laugh uncontrollably, we went on the best date of our lives..she said it was one of the best days in general that shes ever had. We have been holding hands, staying close to each other, making out all the time. This chick was genuinely interested in me and then BAM. We had this talk today. The conversation came up about LIVING together at school in a coed apartment, she really wants to live with me..but we had to talk about whether we could do that as just friends, or if we could manage to do that while dating, it was just a big mess. She told me that she really enjoys me, and that she definitely has feelings for me. But her life is in a rough spot and she needs to figure herself out before she subjects me to a relationship. It's mostly with her ex, she said she doesn't think she has feelings for him still..but she doesn't have any closure and needs to figure that out. She seemed to be very honest and straight forward with me, which I was very impressed about and respected her for it. Whether what she said was true or if she just said it to soften the blow I will never know. But while we were seeing each other she did seem genuinely interested in me. Always returned my texts, wanted to hang out, initiated conversation. She said when she is with me, everything is fantastic and great..but when she leaves, she starts to think about how much of a cluster^#$^ her life actually is. So, the general consensus was to not live with each other..and she said we should try to remain friends, even though thats not what her heart wants. As you can imagine. This SUCKS. I'm pretty damn hurt, very confused and just don't know how to handle this. I kept my composure during the whole talk and respected her decision, and it seemed pretty hard on her. I know I can't force anything on her but damn I do not want to give her up just like that. This could have been something really awesome...am I really supposed to just let that go? Help me out, knock sense into me..or something because this sucks.
Author phatmatt777 Posted February 28, 2013 Author Posted February 28, 2013 Yep, thats what I said. I even asked her if I was just a rebound. She said I wasn't, because thats a a shi#@ thing to do to all parties involved...which is why I guess we had this talk. Also, the conversation was brought up before we started "seeing" each other romantically. Then things just escalated and we started to realize that it wasn't the best idea
NateC Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 I was in a similar situation except it wasn't at the physical stage yet. I took it as "oh, we'll give it time" but I'm realizing now that if it was real, she wouldn't need time. It really sucks, but the best thing for you is to move on. If you can't be friends, then cut ties and let that be that. If you let it eat into you, it'll sabotage your next relationship for sure.
SJC2008 Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 It doesn't matter how much you make her laugh or get along with her if her heart is somewhere else. Cut your losses now or you're going to prolong your agony.
Author phatmatt777 Posted February 28, 2013 Author Posted February 28, 2013 I really don't think her heart is with her ex. I mean I might be delusional but it is something we talked about. He has a new girlfriend, and she said the bulk of there relationship was just casual sex...she reiterated that it wasn't about feelings because she wouldn't get back together with him if he asked. But what do I know, probably all just to soften the blow right? I want to believe her..she seemed very genuine, one of the qualities that attracted me in the first place. She gave me the line, "Right guy, wrong time". That one cut deep. But I respect it nonetheless
Author phatmatt777 Posted February 28, 2013 Author Posted February 28, 2013 Guess I was just looking for a vent, so I appreciate anyone who reads. I know the right thing to do. I gotta cut my losses and move on, I'll still be friendly with her..but I know I can't be her friend. I guess the only thing I can hope for is that she realizes sooner rather than later she made a mistake. Not to sound cocky but I know its her loss, I was ready to show this girl what I was made of.
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