jigglypuff Posted September 3, 2004 Posted September 3, 2004 so the story goes, my ex and i called it quits (after 1.5 years) in april, she ended up in a in late may, and she called and asked me to go see her so i went to be supportive and do what i can you know. during this time she confesses her undying love for me. whatever we hang out as friends for weeks and the went her graduation (no one in her family or circle of friends could make it, so i am the only one there and i ended up taking a ton of pictures) a few weeks after taht. but i started having feelings again and i didnt know what to do. we talked and she kept going back and forth so i told her in person that i wanted things to be over, gone, fin. i couldnt take the back and forth any more it was killing me you know. she cryied and cried and cried and convinced me that she wanted to go out as in dating. i was ok with never seeing her again every if it met and end to this madness. so she talks me into giving us another try, so i do, because i am stupid and weak. so things go about monday-friday, calling everyday, talking having talks about coupling, and about how this just might work after all and shes telling people i am in her life and its the way she wants it and the like the friday (its late june by this point) she wants to go to karaoke and i want to go to.... so i go, SHE suggessts that i stay over at her house, SHE suggests i sleep in her bed SHE suggest we "cuddle" so i take she up on all of this again because i stupid and weak and things go really well if i say so myself, now she is saying it didnt go so well but at the time she had nothing to say and was all smiles. so saturnday she wakes up in a bad mood, i try as much as i can not to step on her toes and to be as civil and distant as i can... so i leave. i call her sometime that day or the next day, to say hey last week when you talk you said you wanted to date, and i had said not until i was done with my with my grad school applications, and now that i am almost done how abouts we go out in july she says "cant talk now have things to do will call later". fine she finally gets ahold of me sometime after nine oclock sunday thats when shes like "ok this is over bye, i have to go to work tomorrow i cant talk" but i kept her on the phone for an hour i think screaming at her calling her every name in the book which she is for playing with my heart. fine!!! thats done, after this point we email back and forth to get rid of the last things that we have between us. she sends me a comment asking if a m going to be at a party and that she is going to. i call her and talk and we even laugh a little, but in the end shes like you know what dont call here no more. fine! thats cool its her right. so over the rest of the summer i get calls from a "mutual" friend about her and what she's upto and who she all is dating and that type of thing. one day, I ENDED up ill and in the emergency room, i called her she was cold and whatever. when i get out. and this wrong on my part, i called her and asked if we could ever be friends. she said not at this time. i called a week later and asked if she wanted to have a conversation becasue i had some questions, she said not really but i could call her the next day. so i do. i ask her if i wrote my question down and sent her a snail mail letter if she would read it. she said she would. at this point i am wondering if should or not actually send the letter and because i have no plans to call again, because she clearly stated she didnt want to talk on the phone. a few days later (this monday) i am wondering still whether or not to send and decided almost finally that i would NOT send it. so i get a call monday morning from this same friend of hers that had be calling with updates all summer. and tells me "stop calling and harasing the girl she's had to get caller id, she's pissed at you" so i am livid. his conversation, i could tell ment well but it just upset me and made me want to call. so i called on my cell so my name and number would come through and i wondered if she would pick it up. and at this point i get another call from him. saying "why are you calling her right now" this futher upsets me. i dont know. so i wrote her a letter with her graduation pictures therein. in it though, i was just like "i am not a villian, i dont mean any harm, i just wish thatyou had been hosnest with mean about why your feeling changed in june and what you really want. i am saying that i am sorry if i caused harm and would rather never talk to you again than have us hate each other." on the outside i put that it contained her grad pictures. and put double postage so could return to sender it if she wanted to. so that wasthis monday. last night i got a call from this same friend friend of hers that was like and it was like, whats your problem why did you send her that letter after we had that conversation. and i went from feeling really good about the care that i had taken to be considerate and let her know without opening it whats inside, her grad school graduation pictures. and somehow i was still a bad person. and to make matters more stressful i called him this morning to sort of get a better idea of what had happened and to very nicely tell hime that at this point he was cause me more stress than she was and he ended up saying that she had had enough was thinking about taking me to court. again after i got of the phone with him was pissed at her and felt like calling her and what not. so thats why i am posting. i hope to keep busy long enough to let the anger and hurt pass. she said i couldnot call so i dont she said i could write a letter so i did. i dont think i did anything that would land me jail? what do you gals think? i know its a long post and i really apperciate you guys taking the time to read it.
emra Posted September 3, 2004 Posted September 3, 2004 I don't understand why this mutual friend would continue to call you with updates about your ex. That seems sick. Or maybe trying to set you up to look like an A** I think you have a bit of an obsession going on with this girl. I don't care if she said don't call but write a letter. That was not a wise thing to do. As hard as it is to get over someone, I think you have tried to hold onto a little bit of something so you wouldn't have to close the door. It sounds to me like this break up has taken all summer. She took you in for a one nighter and that was enough to keep you on her leash. She is totally playing you. If I get the story right. You need to let her go. If she kept all the times you called on her caller id and the letter and everything else, she can get you for harassment. Sounds to me like she is having a little bit of fun playing you and it sounds like she is having even more fun having the mutual friend be the one to say these things to you. You have to be careful she sounds like she has a plan up her sleeve and it is only going to hurt you even more. I would also question how "mutual" of a friend this person really is.
Author jigglypuff Posted September 3, 2004 Author Posted September 3, 2004 i only called once after she got the caller id. i dont really know why i did it. i shouldnt of done it. she didnt pick up though.
LexiB Posted September 8, 2004 Posted September 8, 2004 As the cliche goes, there are two sides to every story, but from what Ive read this chick sounds a little psycho to me. As someone advised you earlier watch yourself with this one. After what you guys have been thru together she doesnt even have the decency to talk to you HERSELF but has to have antother guy tell you he thinks your nutty and how "pissed" she is at you. Pleeze. Sad to say, but Id even be willing to bet she was standing next to him, smirking during the majority of those calls when he played mediator. BTW, if this guy is such a mutual friend, why doesnt it seem like he ever sees your side of this? Hes spent alot of time making you feel like a loser but has he ever commented abt how insensitive SHES being? Check your definition of "friend", hon. Sweetie, she is not worth your energy. This Im sure youve already figured out but now youve gotta show it. Not by calling to tell her this and thus giving her more ammo. But by doing your life a favor and erasing her from it. Delete the number from your phone, the email address from ur comp, and her home address as well. Forget her birthday etc. No more calls letters or "sweet gestures". Your actions thus far, while persistant (more effort than she deserves) were honest and normal for anyone whos been hurt by someone they really cared about. Dont beat yourself up abt acting on your emotions, just dont allow yourself to make the same mistakes. Good Luck!
Merin Posted September 8, 2004 Posted September 8, 2004 Oh jeez! This girl sounds like a straight up b***h! She is in total control here and she is loving it. She likes to call this mutual friend and make you out to be this crazy ass who just won't leave her alone, when she isn't giving the friend the whole 411 on the situation which is that she has encouraged this behaviour from you to begin with. I know this is eating you up, but please listen okay? The ONLY way you are going to start feeling any better about this is to take the control away from her. The ONLY way to do that is to make her insignificant. This means NO CONTACT with her, NONE. No calls, no emails, no letters, no you forgot your socks at my house and I thought you might want them back.... this only tells her you are still willing to play her game. Making her as non important as she has made you is the only thing that is going to snap this girls neck a little. Then she no longer has any poor me boo hoo stories to relay to your mutual friend, and she is dethrowned from her seat of thinking she is all that. I know it's hard, I know it hurts, but believe me you will feel a lot better if it is YOU who "finishes the game"
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