PhillyDude Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 I too was offered by a sugar daddy in OKC online. He claimed he has just been divorced 3 months ago and just want to have sex no relationship. He specifically chose me because he wanted an Asian petite with nice legs...Umm no thanks... I have a nice paying job, and I wanted a relationship. LOL, Not sure why men would make offers like this on a public dating site
Quiet Storm Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 (edited) Leigh. You are giving out vibes that you need attention. These types of incidents don't even happen to the worlds hottest women, excluding strippers, hookers, porn stars and crackheads. The rest of the world can't see your intentions, only your actions. And something about your behavior is making men feel that its OK to disrespect you like this. You say you like to talk about sex. Some people may form an opinion about you because of that. If you don't care what they think, fine, but if you do care about others perception of you, you may want to learn boundaries. Be introspective. Why do you feel you are so focused on looks? Why is the knowledge that men are attracted to you so validating? What are you getting out of talking so freely about sex with men (can't you see how it's going to get them thinking about what sex would be like with you?). Edited March 1, 2013 by Quiet Storm did not mean to put a wink at the top, it wont go away
Author Leigh 87 Posted March 1, 2013 Author Posted March 1, 2013 I was offered to sleep with a gambler for money when I worked in the casino and I was highly offended to be thought so little of. You're not alone. He does not think so little of me. I have met him a few times before; he KNOWS I do not sleep around. I am fairly hard to get into bed. He knows this. I am a friendly college student, who has a ncie personality, and does not sleep around. I highly doubt he sees me as " low quality" or that he "thinks so little of me" since he knows I do not sleep around, and he can see I have a good life ahead of me. Whatever he thinks of me, he would think of all women.. Cos I guarantee, there is no way he would see me as " less quality" when compared to other women. You know - I dress well, I do not dress cheaply or tacky, I act classy and do not just... sleep around lol!
Author Leigh 87 Posted March 1, 2013 Author Posted March 1, 2013 Question...out of curiosity, and if you said before, I apologize for asking again... What was your BF's response to this proposal? Would he not be somewhat agreeable to you doing this for money? Didn't he pay hookers for sex early on in your relationship? And weren't you okay with that? Wouldn't this be a great option for getting some income during some difficult times? He paid for sex and you receive money for sex. Couldn't you lay down some ground rules and come out $1500 richer. No offense intended. Oh man, he cares way too much about me to let some guy pay me for sex:eek: What he did before we became serious is not reflection of how he feels for me.... We were good friends and I can tell he is seriously in love with me now. And I know who he is, and what he is capable of even when he is into a women. I know how my boyfriend works; I would never be with a guy who did not care if I had sex with another guy! I DO NOT like getting into relationships for the sake of it, and would not bother unless I felt a guy was really crazy about me and in love with me. I am sort of insulted you would think that my boyfriend cares so little about me, that he would be fine with me having sex with another guy? Things are very different now than from what they were like at the beggining, when we were just good friends who were against relaitonships.....
ShannonMI Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 He does not think so little of me. I have met him a few times before; he KNOWS I do not sleep around. I am fairly hard to get into bed. He knows this. I am a friendly college student, who has a ncie personality, and does not sleep around. I highly doubt he sees me as " low quality" or that he "thinks so little of me" since he knows I do not sleep around, and he can see I have a good life ahead of me. Whatever he thinks of me, he would think of all women.. Cos I guarantee, there is no way he would see me as " less quality" when compared to other women. You know - I dress well, I do not dress cheaply or tacky, I act classy and do not just... sleep around lol! So he thinks so highly of you, he's willing to pay you for sex. Like a ho. To me that doesn't mean he thinks highly or you. To me that means he thinks you would make a good prostitute. If a guy thought that about me it would upset me and make me feel pretty low. 1
Author Leigh 87 Posted March 1, 2013 Author Posted March 1, 2013 Leigh. You are giving out vibes that you need attention. These types of incidents don't even happen to the worlds hottest women, excluding strippers, hookers, porn stars and crackheads. The rest of the world can't see your intentions, only your actions. And something about your behavior is making men feel that its OK to disrespect you like this. You say you like to talk about sex. Some people may form an opinion about you because of that. If you don't care what they think, fine, but if you do care about others perception of you, you may want to learn boundaries. Be introspective. Why do you feel you are so focused on looks? Why is the knowledge that men are attracted to you so validating? What are you getting out of talking so freely about sex with men (can't you see how it's going to get them thinking about what sex would be like with you?). I have never thought talking about sex was a big deal, that should only be talked about among your closest girlfriends. I tend to talk about sex freely if a group of us are together at a party, and the topic starts (I never start the sex talk either!) In regards to this guy who I have met a few times and who has always fancied me, all I have revealed is: that I wanted to try a threesome as it was always something I was curious about. That I had been to a sex themed party once and thrown one myself. I never talked incessantly about my sex life with him! The reason we stopped hanging out was actually because he crashed at my flat once as I did not want him to walk home in the dark, and he touched my butt, and I told him no. So he knows I am not easy. I made it clear I did not want to see him again after that incident. And why would they form opinions? (just because I talk about sex, but they know I am an otherwise clean girl who does not sleep around?)
Author Leigh 87 Posted March 1, 2013 Author Posted March 1, 2013 So he thinks so highly of you, he's willing to pay you for sex. Like a ho. To me that doesn't mean he thinks highly or you. To me that means he thinks you would make a good prostitute. If a guy thought that about me it would upset me and make me feel pretty low. He barly knows me. In the past though, I have made is clear that I have only slept with 3 men in ten years, and I was in relationships with them, and wanted to be in a relationship with one. He knows very well that I DO NOT sleep around! So... why would he think lowly of me if he knows that I do not sleep around? I am also a college student, I have career ambitions, and I have friends, am not ugly, and have a good life ahead of me.. I seriously doubt he has any reason to think I am some skank. I already rejected him a couple of years ago. He should know I do not sleep around. I have TOLD him my sexual attitude.
Author Leigh 87 Posted March 1, 2013 Author Posted March 1, 2013 I definately, 100% do not put a vibe out there that I am easy; GUYS KNOW I do not sleep around. What I have done, is tell a few guys that I am experimental, and wanted to try a threesome. Trying a threesome DOES NOT mean I sleep around freely with men! The men who I have told I wanted to try a threesome to, also knew I never slept around, and that being a skank was not my style.
ShannonMI Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 He barly knows me. In the past though, I have made is clear that I have only slept with 3 men in ten years, and I was in relationships with them, and wanted to be in a relationship with one. He knows very well that I DO NOT sleep around! So... why would he think lowly of me if he knows that I do not sleep around? I am also a college student, I have career ambitions, and I have friends, am not ugly, and have a good life ahead of me.. I seriously doubt he has any reason to think I am some skank. I already rejected him a couple of years ago. He should know I do not sleep around. I have TOLD him my sexual attitude. How does he know how many people you've been with? Just because you tell him you've only been with a few? He obviously thinks you are the type of girl who would consider money for sex. Perhaps it's from you being so open about sex. He thinks you are loose and have ho potential. Again, if it was me I would feel low if some guy offered me money for sex.
MrNate 2.0 Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 How does he know how many people you've been with? Just because you tell him you've only been with a few? He obviously thinks you are the type of girl who would consider money for sex. Perhaps it's from you being so open about sex. He thinks you are loose and have ho potential. Again, if it was me I would feel low if some guy offered me money for sex. Hey I remember you. It's been a while, heh. And you're on point with this post.
Author Leigh 87 Posted March 2, 2013 Author Posted March 2, 2013 How does he know how many people you've been with? Just because you tell him you've only been with a few? He obviously thinks you are the type of girl who would consider money for sex. Perhaps it's from you being so open about sex. He thinks you are loose and have ho potential. Again, if it was me I would feel low if some guy offered me money for sex. He told me that he asked me because of the fact I have not slept around and the normal hoes would be loose. He knows very well I have hardly slept with any guys in the past ten years lol.... He also said that he does not think badly of women in general, who would take money for sex. He is not an idiot. He did not want to offend me, and when he asked me, he gave me a LONGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGg explanation. He said the fact I DID NOT sleep around, appealed to him so much more than a prostitute. To you this would make hm socially abhorrant. A guy who has no clue how to act socially in some situations, because whaty girl in her right ming would NOT get offended!? Genuinely, I think he was just not aware of how badly it could offend some women.
ShannonMI Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 He does not think so little of me. I have met him a few times before; he KNOWS I do not sleep around. I am fairly hard to get into bed. He knows this. I am a friendly college student, who has a ncie personality, and does not sleep around. I highly doubt he sees me as " low quality" or that he "thinks so little of me" since he knows I do not sleep around, and he can see I have a good life ahead of me. Whatever he thinks of me, he would think of all women.. Cos I guarantee, there is no way he would see me as " less quality" when compared to other women. You know - I dress well, I do not dress cheaply or tacky, I act classy and do not just... sleep around lol! You must think this guy finds you such a hot commodity that he's willing to throw over a grand at you to get in your pants. That's why you are flattered. When in reality he's just treating you like a prostitute. Think of it anyway you want but that is essentially what it is. If you are flattered by that, I wonder about your self esteem.
Author Leigh 87 Posted March 2, 2013 Author Posted March 2, 2013 How does he know how many people you've been with? Just because you tell him you've only been with a few? He obviously thinks you are the type of girl who would consider money for sex. Perhaps it's from you being so open about sex. He thinks you are loose and have ho potential. Again, if it was me I would feel low if some guy offered me money for sex. And in any case, why the hell would I let some loser who does not even know me, make me feel low? I choose the things in life that I let upset me man... I am a pretty happy person. I will tell you for certain that: people like me do not let what other pepole say make them upset, if the person does not know me. I have gotten annoyed at people on here before actually, but you know, I did not experience any bad emotions due to them; more just being annoyd for a split second. It is very sad for you, if you would let a guy who did not know you make you feel bad. Surely YOU and your friends and those who actually KNOW you, know that you are a respectable girl, no? Why would you let it make you feel low? If you know you do not sleep around and are a quality girl, why would you care about what a guy who does now know this, think?
ShannonMI Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 He told me that he asked me because of the fact I have not slept around and the normal hoes would be loose. He knows very well I have hardly slept with any guys in the past ten years lol.... He also said that he does not think badly of women in general, who would take money for sex. He is not an idiot. He did not want to offend me, and when he asked me, he gave me a LONGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGg explanation. He said the fact I DID NOT sleep around, appealed to him so much more than a prostitute. To you this would make hm socially abhorrant. A guy who has no clue how to act socially in some situations, because whaty girl in her right ming would NOT get offended!? Genuinely, I think he was just not aware of how badly it could offend some women. He sounds like a misogynist.
Author Leigh 87 Posted March 2, 2013 Author Posted March 2, 2013 You must think this guy finds you such a hot commodity that he's willing to throw over a grand at you to get in your pants. That's why you are flattered. When in reality he's just treating you like a prostitute. Think of it anyway you want but that is essentially what it is. If you are flattered by that, I wonder about your self esteem. frankly, I am hot to him. When we met, very few girls around here met his strict criteria. I was very thin, I had an eating disorder if you must know... He is only sexually into very thin girls, like I once was, and it IS hard to find very stick thin girls that also have large, natural boobs, and a large butt. And I had nice teeth and skin. I DO NOT think I am SUCH a hot commodity in general, but TO HIM I was, because his type was very hard for him to find. He has the money, so there is no reason to think that he HAD to be lying? I do not think I am anything special to MOST guys, but to him I happened to be. Is it THAT hard to believe, that in our coastal town, there was a severe shortage of stick figures who were 100 lbs, who also had killer curves? I put it down to him not meeting many girls like me, let alone a friendly one who was nice to him. It is also about our location! If it were a big city, of course there are models all around who are really thin and have naturally big boobs, the way he likes.
ShannonMI Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 And in any case, why the hell would I let some loser who does not even know me, make me feel low? I choose the things in life that I let upset me man... I am a pretty happy person. I will tell you for certain that: people like me do not let what other pepole say make them upset, if the person does not know me. I have gotten annoyed at people on here before actually, but you know, I did not experience any bad emotions due to them; more just being annoyd for a split second. It is very sad for you, if you would let a guy who did not know you make you feel bad. Surely YOU and your friends and those who actually KNOW you, know that you are a respectable girl, no? Why would you let it make you feel low? If you know you do not sleep around and are a quality girl, why would you care about what a guy who does now know this, think? Why would it make me feel low? Well I would wonder what kind of vibe I was giving off to have a man proposition me in such a way. It would really make me look at myself and wonder.....hey why does he think I'm a ho and I would take money for sex?? Of course I would be disgusted with the guy mostly but I would still wonder about the vibe I'm giving off. I certainly wouldnt be flattered by it, i can tell you that. I've never been propositioned for prostitution so I must not give off that "I'll f*ck you for some dough" vibe. There are of course men out there that are just pigs and just want to pay for sex because they find it easier.
Author Leigh 87 Posted March 2, 2013 Author Posted March 2, 2013 He sounds like a misogynist. It is probably why he lacks in the women department (despite the fact he is good looking enough, and has a nice perosnality and good paying job) I do know that he assumes that a women will kiss and be sexual with him after only meeting him briefely; he is that type of guy who assumes most women are into the hook up culture. Therefore, I know he does not look down on women who have casual encounters. He seams to think it is pretty normal/healthy/not a sign of a low quality women. I dress classy ( no mini skirts combined with a low cut top thanks:sick:), I am a COLLEGE student ( obviously I am not a dead beat with no career aspirations), and I have friends and I am a really nice person. All my friends are respectable people; my FRIENDS would not hang out with skanks who acted like they would open their legs to just any dude:sick: Saying I wanted a threesome is not enough for a NORMAL guy to assume " wow - wanting a threesome means she must be a skank and sleep around" Any guy with an ounce of social intelligence, would look at a women a whole; if she was classy and he knew she did not sleep around, why would a "threesome" make her less classy or lesser of a women?
Author Leigh 87 Posted March 2, 2013 Author Posted March 2, 2013 Why would it make me feel low? Well I would wonder what kind of vibe I was giving off to have a man proposition me in such a way. It would really make me look at myself and wonder.....hey why does he think I'm a ho and I would take money for sex?? Of course I would be disgusted with the guy mostly but I would still wonder about the vibe I'm giving off. I certainly wouldnt be flattered by it, i can tell you that. I've never been propositioned for prostitution so I must not give off that "I'll f*ck you for some dough" vibe. There are of course men out there that are just pigs and just want to pay for sex because they find it easier. That is your opinion. My own boyfriend saw hookers before and he is not a pig. He treats me better than the guys I have had who have never seen a hooker. We already have different opinions. You sound judgmental, and like you think a guy is a bad person just because he pays for sex. Where as I think a bad person is a person who lies, steals, and is not very nice to others. Having hookers does not mean the rest of the guys character is dubious. That he is not trustworthy or a kind man. We think too differently, I am afraid. And I do not give off a slutty vibe; I have admitted I talk about sex more freely than most girls, but I do not dress slutty or act like i am "easy". Guys see me as less judgmental, and I have been told I am too nice to guys, and THAT gives them the wrong impression. So yeah. Being nice and more open about sex may give them the hope that they have a shot, but it does not mean I act like I am "easy". Guys I know well enough to talk about sex with, they know I do not sleep around, and they can see through my clothes that I am not a skank.
ShannonMI Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 It is probably why he lacks in the women department (despite the fact he is good looking enough, and has a nice perosnality and good paying job) I do know that he assumes that a women will kiss and be sexual with him after only meeting him briefely; he is that type of guy who assumes most women are into the hook up culture. Therefore, I know he does not look down on women who have casual encounters. He seams to think it is pretty normal/healthy/not a sign of a low quality women. I dress classy ( no mini skirts combined with a low cut top thanks:sick:), I am a COLLEGE student ( obviously I am not a dead beat with no career aspirations), and I have friends and I am a really nice person. All my friends are respectable people; my FRIENDS would not hang out with skanks who acted like they would open their legs to just any dude:sick: Saying I wanted a threesome is not enough for a NORMAL guy to assume " wow - wanting a threesome means she must be a skank and sleep around" Any guy with an ounce of social intelligence, would look at a women a whole; if she was classy and he knew she did not sleep around, why would a "threesome" make her less classy or lesser of a women? Who are you telling your threesome fantasy to? Just anyone or a boyfriend or close friends? If its just being said to whomever then people might think certain things about you. That's not something you tell just anyone.
Author Leigh 87 Posted March 2, 2013 Author Posted March 2, 2013 Why would it make me feel low? Well I would wonder what kind of vibe I was giving off to have a man proposition me in such a way. It would really make me look at myself and wonder.....hey why does he think I'm a ho and I would take money for sex?? Of course I would be disgusted with the guy mostly but I would still wonder about the vibe I'm giving off. I certainly wouldnt be flattered by it, i can tell you that. I've never been propositioned for prostitution so I must not give off that "I'll f*ck you for some dough" vibe. There are of course men out there that are just pigs and just want to pay for sex because they find it easier. I do not act like a hoe, thank you very much. And what makes you think he assumes I am a hoe? He knows I do not sleep around, and that is why he asked me (he says hookers turn him of due to the fact they sleep around...). He specifically said that hookers turn him off, which is why he would rather pay more money for a NORMAL girl who does NOT sleep around. He seamed very worried that he would upset me, by the way he asked me. He seamed relieved when I was not angry at him. I think he knew that it could look very bad.
Author Leigh 87 Posted March 2, 2013 Author Posted March 2, 2013 Who are you telling your threesome fantasy to? Just anyone or a boyfriend or close friends? If its just being said to whomever then people might think certain things about you. That's not something you tell just anyone. I tell good friends, and of course I told my boyfriend when we started dating, because I felt it is important to tell guys I dated my sexual style and desires... To see if our values are the same! I told this guy because I was online dating, and I guess he asked about me and what I am like in that regard, so I told him briefely. I just said: " I do not sleep around, I have slept with 1 guy in the past 5 years, and I cannot have sex with guys I do not love, I have dsicovered" " I am also sexually open to experimenation before I settle down with a guy"
snowflakes88 Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 Leigh, you posted earlier in this thread that you would consider having sex for money if you weren't in a relationship... so it sounds like this guy was not all that off-base in his estimation of you. I don't say that to be mean at all - what you're open to is what you're open to, and that's fine. I just don't understand all of the "he knows I'm a nice girl so I don't know why he would ask that!" when you've admitted you'd be down for what he asked if circumstances were different. Like someone posted earlier in this thread, people have different values. I would never consider having sex for money. Would never consider buying my partner a hooker. Would never consider pole dancing. Do I think that makes me better than you? Nope. But does it make me very different from you? Absolutely. Even if you aren't sleeping around, you might be giving off a vibe that you are very sexually open because well - you are. 1
Author Leigh 87 Posted March 2, 2013 Author Posted March 2, 2013 Leigh, you posted earlier in this thread that you would consider having sex for money if you weren't in a relationship... so it sounds like this guy was not all that off-base in his estimation of you. I don't say that to be mean at all - what you're open to is what you're open to, and that's fine. I just don't understand all of the "he knows I'm a nice girl so I don't know why he would ask that!" when you've admitted you'd be down for what he asked if circumstances were different. Like someone posted earlier in this thread, people have different values. I would never consider having sex for money. Would never consider buying my partner a hooker. Would never consider pole dancing. Do I think that makes me better than you? Nope. But does it make me very different from you? Absolutely. Even if you aren't sleeping around, you might be giving off a vibe that you are very sexually open because well - you are. I am desperate for money though. I look despeately for menial jobs, I cannot even get a food serve job! In theory I said I do not judge people who do such a thing (accept sex for money if they are desperate). Some people are that desperate for money; I do not think they lack character. Why starve when you have a way out? Especially students who would do it... what if they had to choose between starving and the sex? Starving is not good for studies.. I was anorexic and had to drop out of college because I literally could not concentrate! With me though, I am not THAT desperate, as my parents feed me if welfare falls short (like if I do not get all the specials one week, my money will run out, welfare is WAY LOWER in Australia than the US) I said I would do it in theory. I never said I would be able to go through with it. Not that it makes me any less of a person if I did.
Quiet Storm Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 I definately, 100% do not put a vibe out there that I am easy; GUYS KNOW I do not sleep around. What I have done, is tell a few guys that I am experimental, and wanted to try a threesome. Trying a threesome DOES NOT mean I sleep around freely with men! The men who I have told I wanted to try a threesome to, also knew I never slept around, and that being a skank was not my style. Regardless of what your intentions are, you are giving them this impression. You can't really know what vibe you give off to others, because many people keep their negative opinions to themselves. You know that you don't sleep around, but they don't know that. They only know what you show them, which is that you are a sexually experimental woman. You say "threesomes" and their antennaes go up, and their minds start thinking "I wonder what else she'll do". Whether you are that kind of girl or not, they are thinking that. I find it hard to believe that you don't know what sexually charged conversations do to men, and I can't help but think that you enjoy sharing this info because you get attention from it. You say "I would never cheat" or "I would only have sex in a relationship", but your behavior is leading them to make assumptions. Just because you know you wouldn't cheat, doesn't mean they don't assume that you will. I think you are living in a distorted reality, assigning meaning to the actions of others, based on what you WISH their intentions were. My sister, who has Borderline Personality Disorder, does this frequently. I'm not saying you have BPD, but I don't think this is healthy. You have an idea in your mind of what others think of you, that doesn't seem to match up with how others are treating you. And you won't even consider the pages of opinions that contradict what you have already decided is the reason for these advances. I am not trying to be harsh, Leigh, but this worries me. Has anyone else in your life noticed this? You mentioned an eating disorder. Have you been treated for that? 3
Author Leigh 87 Posted March 2, 2013 Author Posted March 2, 2013 Regardless of what your intentions are, you are giving them this impression. You can't really know what vibe you give off to others, because many people keep their negative opinions to themselves. You know that you don't sleep around, but they don't know that. They only know what you show them, which is that you are a sexually experimental woman. You say "threesomes" and their antennaes go up, and their minds start thinking "I wonder what else she'll do". Whether you are that kind of girl or not, they are thinking that. I find it hard to believe that you don't know what sexually charged conversations do to men, and I can't help but think that you enjoy sharing this info because you get attention from it. You say "I would never cheat" or "I would only have sex in a relationship", but your behavior is leading them to make assumptions. Just because you know you wouldn't cheat, doesn't mean they don't assume that you will. I think you are living in a distorted reality, assigning meaning to the actions of others, based on what you WISH their intentions were. My sister, who has Borderline Personality Disorder, does this frequently. I'm not saying you have BPD, but I don't think this is healthy. You have an idea in your mind of what others think of you, that doesn't seem to match up with how others are treating you. And you won't even consider the pages of opinions that contradict what you have already decided is the reason for these advances. I am not trying to be harsh, Leigh, but this worries me. Has anyone else in your life noticed this? You mentioned an eating disorder. Have you been treated for that? I have asked my good friends how I come across, and they all say I am classy and I DO NOT give off the impression I sleep around at all! Just the way I talk and act, I do not give that vibe they say. They have said the fact I am open about sex could make the peope I am open with, think differently. In GENERAL though, no, no reason for strangers to think I am easy.
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