Why does a girl that rejected me want to be my friend?

[sir_revengeance]

Long story short, I asked this shy girl out 2 years ago and she said yes. We didn't know each other too well though and we didn't go out on any dates or anything; basically nothing happened. Our conversations were very friend (and often awkward). Last year I briefly talked to her, it seemed like she was open to us being friends. I wondered if I screwed up the year before because she did say yes when I asked her out.

 

So I tried again but she rejected me this time when I asked her out to the movies. She said she was going to go see it with her nephew. Since then I pretty much avoided her. And now, we have classes together again. She is friends with people from last semester who are also my friends but since she's with them I kinda avoid them all together.

 

That was until they all decided to sit infront of me. Its been a little tough on me. But just this week, it seems like she wants to be my friend. She acknowledged my presence and gave me a smile. I returned it of course. I really want to be her friend at the very least. It does suck that she doesn't have the same feelings I do for her. But if I'm part of her life in some way, I'll be happy.

 

But why would she want to be friends with me? We do have a lot in common but then again, we haven't spoken to each other much (I was shy around her and she's shy in general until she gets to know the person). We know stuff about each other based on what we've seen or interactions with other classmates.

 

Full version here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/general/general-relationship-discussion/376168-i-don-t-have-chance-do-i

[empirestate87]

Question: If you were going to be friends, would you honestly have no feelings for her?

[arginine]

But if I'm part of her life in some way, I'll be happy.

 

ill say this as nicely as possible, this reeks of desperation man. subconsciously, you are hoping she's going to leave the bloke she is with and get with you instead. this isn't going to happen, probably, it almost never does.,

 

she might want to be friends because she enjoys the obvious power she has over you. you have bought into this power dynamic, it seems. you keep saying she rejected you, rejection is a one way force. youre giving her way to much credit and power over you.

 

just admit that it didnt work out, and probably wont work out. the longer you spend agonizing over her, the harder it is going to be.