grace777 Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 Well, I think many of you know my story. Feel free to creep my past tangents, if desired. Bottom line - I was in a lesbian relationship for over 3 years. We ended in October. But the latest and greatest is that I'm in a much better spot lately than I have been in the last 5 months. I actually feel good (great even) and have placed my ex in a spot that allows me to accept the wonderful parts of our relationship as a blessing, and move the heck on! It was eye-opening to get here. It's taken, what seems like an eternity, but I've arrived. Still, since I've let go - for the last two or three nights consecutively, I've been dreaming of her. I dream of us talking, looking into each others eyes deeply, the way we used to. I dream of her next to me in bed. I can even smell her in my dreams. I dream of her at my place. I dream of us laughing. I dream of us on fun adventures. And the most torturous, I dream of us kissing. And it's just so painful. I haven't dreamt of her like this in months. Waking up is disappointing all over again. I just don't get it. Why, when I was doing so well - when I am doing so well - am I suddenly dreaming of her?? Is my subconscious f'ing with me? It's like my subconscious doesn't want to let her go or something. Have any of you gone through this? I want it to stop! It makes me backpedal and I've been doing/feeling great, for the first time in months! Help!!
headsashed Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 You are not back peddle'ing,far from it,you are just dreaming and thats all it is,dreams. Dreams mean nothing in my opinion,and from what ive read its just your subconcious letting go,its nothing to worry about so dont let it get you down. Ill tell you a little secret, i dreamt of my ex last night,the 1st time in ages and im 10 month post break up, it made me feel a little wierd when i woke up,but it was more of a "ewww what am i dreamin of her for", i feel fine now lol. I used to dream about my ex regular,it killed me,but i realised that dreams meants literally nothing,and 10 months on shows that they meant nothing,as much as it pulls heart strings right now just dont let it bother u so much,easier said than done i know,but it will fade,i promise.
na49 Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 I dream of my ex sometimes. I think the dreams mean something (I don't know what exactly) but right after my BU which was about 5 months ago like you. The dreams were more about us happy together, on dates, looking into each other's eyes. Lately the dreams have been less positive. One of them we were sitting in a movie theater and I moved my seat next to her and she was just cold towards me. Another one I was sitting in a line and she was sitting next to me telling me how terrible I was and said "see you in therapy! you're a freak!" (funny but I am actually scheduled to see a counselor on Monday) another dream we were both in what looked like my friend's living room and she was telling me how we are over and she doesn't want to be with me. I know how much it sucks to dream about your ex. It ruins your day. I dream of her, fall back asleep and think "let me dream about f*cking some bikini model on a beach or having a happy healthy relationship with the perfect girl" instead I dream of her. AGAIN! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!
stevie_23 Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 2 weeks after my ex broke up with me, I started dreaming of him every night. We'd be cuddling together, he'd be literally coming TO me in my dream (I knew I was dreaming) and telling me he loved me and always would. I would wake up feeling peaceful and calm and appreciative of the love he'd shown me during our time together. I didn't feel disappointed, didn't feel sick with sorrow or anything. Just peaceful. It could be you're definitely NOT back-pedalling, but rather this is a sign you're moving further forward. You really and truly CAN appreciate the good parts of your relationship, and how she made you feel when you were together. Maybe it shows you've let go of the negativity that surrounded the end of the relationship and can hold in your heart (as you said) the good parts. Maybe the dreams are also showing you how you want to feel. Like, in a future relationship, you can feel like this again. Whenever that may be. It's what you've felt with her and now you won't take anything less. And that's a good thing. She is featured in the dream because obviously she was your most recent relationship and those feelings are closely associated with her, but maybe the significance of the dream itself is those feelings...
destroyed4sho Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 I think when you are getting over someone and you push the thought of them out of your mind, it comes out in dreams. It doesn't mean you are regressing, it actually means the opposite - that you are not thinking about them while awake. I am having dreams too...the most emotional one I have had so far was me kissing my girl in bed and her not knowing it was me because her eyes were closed. :-( I've had other ones but when I wake up from them they are so choppy, I only remember flashes of them...thank God! The dreams will fade eventually.
its a lifestyle Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 Dreams - 3 nights in a row Still having recent dreams - 7months NC and moved on And guess what... I've literally, 20 minutes ago... just woken up from one. Welcome to my world
Author grace777 Posted February 28, 2013 Author Posted February 28, 2013 Wow, great insight everyone. Thank you! I think I'll take away from it that maybe I'm dreaming of her because I have let go of our love in our waking life, but my subconscious is letting go a bit slower. Also, the deep love I feel in these dreams, that was a reflection of the love we felt when we were together, IS what I expect and look forward to in my next relationship. And also, another possibility - I haven't had any affection for 5 months...maybe that has something to do with it! haha! I tried to get out there and date right away, but at the last second (for the options I had at the time) I chickened out. I just couldn't imagine being affectionate with someone else. Maybe that's now taking it's toll. Also, maybe now I'm ready? Yikes! I don't know about you guys, but the thought of it scares me like a teenage girl! haha! Anyways, thank you, to all of you. You made me feel less psycho about the process. This may be just another step. And why is it, exactly, that I know she hasn't gone through any of these emotions - ugh...it's so hard on us, so easy on them. Lame. 1
its a lifestyle Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 Wow, great insight everyone. Thank you! I think I'll take away from it that maybe I'm dreaming of her because I have let go of our love in our waking life, but my subconscious is letting go a bit slower. Also, the deep love I feel in these dreams, that was a reflection of the love we felt when we were together, IS what I expect and look forward to in my next relationship. And also, another possibility - I haven't had any affection for 5 months...maybe that has something to do with it! haha! I tried to get out there and date right away, but at the last second (for the options I had at the time) I chickened out. I just couldn't imagine being affectionate with someone else. Maybe that's now taking it's toll. Also, maybe now I'm ready? Yikes! I don't know about you guys, but the thought of it scares me like a teenage girl! haha! Anyways, thank you, to all of you. You made me feel less psycho about the process. This may be just another step. And why is it, exactly, that I know she hasn't gone through any of these emotions - ugh...it's so hard on us, so easy on them. Lame. Quick tip, this is REALLY strange and I don't if it has any relevance to you, but here it is... I almost cracked up going crazy a few weeks ago because she was in my dreams 7 nights in a row, literally Monday to the Monday after, Something I noticed is that, when I leave the television on at night... the background noise causes me to dream really vividly, it's always been that way, So I turned it off on the Tuesday night... VOILA! NO DREAM! I was turning it off every night after that, some nights I have no dreams and some just vague ones WAY less intense, and never about her... Lastnight I fell asleep with a youtube playlist on gangster documentaries playing, and I had a really intense dream about her.. Just something to think about..
unknow Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 dude im ****ing crying :'( i know that feel bro......... :'( damn this is why i really CANT read any thread on this site without choosing to read or not wisely.... :'( i wisn i could say something to help but i cant really help anyone :'( ....ive dreaming with her 98% of the time since we broke 5 months ago....everyday maaan.... I wish i couçnnt dream anymore...or stay sleeping forever.... :'(
bollixology Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 Going through the same thing at the moment, been NC for just over 5 weeks, dreams were extremely vivid first week or so but stopped until Tuesday night when they came back!!!! Cant put my finger on why they are back..........has not helped me thinking about her during the day since they came back which feels like I have regressed but I just keep reminding my self that they are just dreams and not reality so that kind of helps!!! Nice to see that I am not the only one with this happening, good luck to all!!!
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