GingerVixen Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 Hey guys, here's my story , it's here and here. It's basically a guy who was a player and wanted basically to have sex with me, I dumped him but I regretted it because I wanted to remain friends with him but he simply ignored me. Now I decided to remove him for good from my life. I've deleted my Instagram profile and deleted him from Skype , removed any way in which he could possibly contact me or get to know about my life, so it's fine. But I never had the opportunity to tell him everything I thought about him... Tell him he's a douche and since he's disrespected me so many times he didn't deserve my attention, that he offended me and I don't like guys like him. Instead, I made the terrible mistake of trying to be friends again with this horrible person. So what has been torturing me nowadays? My regret... I regret not telling him everything... I feel there's something inside me that i want to say, I talked to my friends about him and they said he doesn't even deserve my anger , so I decided to walk away silently, but the regret of having wasted my time with such a mean person is really annoying me... Any advice and comforting words are welcome. I don't know what to do, I blame myself everyday...
geegirl Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 Move on from it. If all he wanted to do was use you for sex, then trust that while he didn't care for you in a loving and caring way then, your words to you now would mean nothing to him, because you don't mean anything to him. It'll just roll off his back and you'll just give him an ego boost. He'll probably smirk and think about how affected you still are about him and that you're just being bitter and dramatic. And trust me, he's not even thinking about all of this. He's probably out with other women and enjoying his life. You are projecting these thoughts on him. He is far detached from this. So, stop worrying about what he thinks or how he got away scott free. Time for you to close that door and move on and start living your life. You suggested "friends" because you were probably emotional then and needed to hold on to that attachment. It was a mistake. We've all made some really bad moves in our lives. It's normal to regret but it's best to let go and shut that door. In time, you'll accept that it was part of being human and it was just a small misstep in the enormity of your life. Just learn from it and hold on to the lesson for next time. 3
Author GingerVixen Posted February 28, 2013 Author Posted February 28, 2013 Move on from it. If all he wanted to do was use you for sex, then trust that while he didn't care for you in a loving and caring way then, your words to you now would mean nothing to him, because you don't mean anything to him. It'll just roll off his back and you'll just give him an ego boost. He'll probably smirk and think about how affected you still are about him and that you're just being bitter and dramatic. And trust me, he's not even thinking about all of this. He's probably out with other women and enjoying his life. You are projecting these thoughts on him. He is far detached from this. So, stop worrying about what he thinks or how he got away scott free. Time for you to close that door and move on and start living your life. You suggested "friends" because you were probably emotional then and needed to hold on to that attachment. It was a mistake. We've all made some really bad moves in our lives. It's normal to regret but it's best to let go and shut that door. In time, you'll accept that it was part of being human and it was just a small misstep in the enormity of your life. Just learn from it and hold on to the lesson for next time. Thank you so much. Sometimes I think of all the beautiful words I said to him and how it meant nothing to him and I feel so stupid. Wish this feeling of stupidity would go away...
Toddbt12y1 Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 Best you leave this idiot alone Ginger. Not much difference between this scum and the one whom you posted in earlier. Aside from he got odf on toturing his. Any man, that sees a woman, for only one-use, doesn't deserve her. Nor should he be called man. Go. Find someone who will love your thoughts first, body later. 1
cavalier99 Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 I understand where you coming from. One of the biggest thing I'm overcoming isn't necessarily the loss of my RS. It is the loss of self respect before and during the BU. I'm slightly ashamed of the weakness i showed. I'm working on forgiving myself for this and accepting that i did the best i could at the time. Any 'WHAT IFS' i replay have more to do with maintaining my dignity during the BU rather than saving the RS. The way to maintain this now is to stay NC and let it go. I also would like to give my ex a few choice words but i know ill lose even more self respect that i have gained back. It isn't worth it. Write a letter. Then burn it. Rock on! Cav 1
geegirl Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 Thank you so much. Sometimes I think of all the beautiful words I said to him and how it meant nothing to him and I feel so stupid. Wish this feeling of stupidity would go away... Don't feel stupid. You had the capability to love and care deeply for another human being. If anything, he's at the loosing end for not being able to connect on any level other than to use someone for an empty, meaningless physical need. The joke is on him. Don't kick yourself for loving a jerk. You meant well and you tried to give your all and it wasn't reciprocated. In time you will accept it for what it is. And you will even get to a point where it won't even cross your mind again. I promise. 1
Author GingerVixen Posted February 28, 2013 Author Posted February 28, 2013 Don't feel stupid. You had the capability to love and care deeply for another human being. If anything, he's at the loosing end for not being able to connect on any level other than to use someone for an empty, meaningless physical need. The joke is on him. Don't kick yourself for loving a jerk. You meant well and you tried to give your all and it wasn't reciprocated. In time you will accept it for what it is. And you will even get to a point where it won't even cross your mind again. I promise. Thodd, Cav, GeeGirl... thank you so much for your words! Seriously! It's hard sometimes to think "oh but I had only noble attitudes, there's nothing to regret" because that's how Cav said, we feel we've lost self-respect... But i agree with you Thodd and Gee, in the end it doesn't matter, he's such a jerk and he's definitely not even thinking about this. I believe everything in life has a purpose, maybe this had a purpose too, I used to be really naive about relationships, so I believe this was a lesson. 2
purplereigncb Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 Honestly venting on your ex will lead to regret as well. Like everyone else says it only shows that you still care, while it just rolls off his back. 1
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