Highschool Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 Okay, I've had a lot of drama with one girl (named R), and I've posted about this girl a lot of times over the past while. That being said, I still feel confused after a couple of months, and still upset. Happily, however, I got some information about this girl's past from a girl-friend and it's helped me form some theory as to what happened. --- I've been talking to a girl-friend of mine (named S) who used to be friends with the girl I had all of this drama with ®. She told me a few things recently, first one I already assumed before: - R's parents are very controlling 2nd thing that made me feel a bit better, this one I didn't know: R was talking to a guy a couple of years ago and really liked him, but only talked to him through texts. She got really close to him through there. When she told her parents about him they freaked out and told her it was a bad idea, so she cut him off and stopped talking to him (just stopped responding to texts and stopped acting attentive towards him through there). - That Europe trip that she went on last summer, she paid for it all out of her pocket, and her parents made her call/email them every day. She didn't do it one night because of a wifi problem (S had the wifi), and they got angry at R, and R blamed S who was using the wifi. She had to room with her. She also told S, who she had to room with a LOT, that she "was scared that she was going to kill her in her sleep". Below for explanation. S has some depression issues and stuff, and when she mentioned them to R a few years ago when they were best friends, R flipped out and ran to the principal and told her to leave her alone. -She's went to a few dances throughout high school, but the one that she went to with S (when they were friends)..., her dad ONLY allowed her to go with S if he drove them. -When he met S he asked her about her marks, and he said that if R ever got Bs she wouldn't have any privileges (when S said she got a B on a recent test). --------- Anyway, that being said R went a little nuts on the Europe trip and had her first kiss when she was 16 with a random Italian stranger (who was horny and grinding her) at a dance club that the teacher brought them to. The teacher also allowed them to drink, and R didn't drink much but thought that she was drunk a few times and went kind of slutty on random guys. ----- So now I have a better understanding of this girl, I guess. It still upsets me that she'd cut me out like she did, and then when I got upset and sent her an email about it 2 weeks later, she flipped out (when I tried to talk to her as school 2 days after sending the email) and called me "creepy as ****" because of the email I sent her, told me to leave her alone, and ran to a counselor to complain about me. After I was called down by the principal and VP, I explained my point of view, and after that/since then they've told me that I didn't do anything wrong, she completely overreacted and should be embarrassed over how she acted, and that she probably is. ----- She STILL gives me looks. Sometimes glares, sometimes sympathetic smiles, sometimes little awkward looks that make it look like she's embarrassed, and sometimes regular smiles. I also STILL think about her. I've had some good memories with her even though we never got intimate or anything, and I'm not sure what to do. Example: It's snowing, it reminds me of a time when we walked home together while it was snowing, got a lot of snow in our hair and laughed about it for a bit. Also, any slow song reminds me of dancing with her at the last semi-formal. She doesn't have very many friends/a social life, since she's too busy with her ridiculous amount of extracurriculars her parents put her through. But she has a couple of good friends, one of which I know fairly well (who still acts the same towards me). ---- What do I do? We were planning to go to prom together, that's obviously not happening now, and she had seemed so happy when her dad said that she could go see that movie with me (in other thread), although he was going to be driving. ^.^ I'm thinking her parents were okay with her going as long as he drove, then maybe she told them how much I actually liked her and they freaked or something? I just don't get it, I don't think I deserved the treatment I got, but I'd like to attempt to patch things up. I also REALLLLLY thought she liked me, I'm still almost sure of it. I just don't want to go the rest of the year doing this ignore-each-other crap, and the looks still get to me. ------- I tried not to creep her out, but I was upset when I wrote the email. At one point I said something similar to: "I never said anything innapropriate to you, rude to you, or was anything but respectful. I just thought you were a great girl... That's it. If you were thought I was some guy trying to get laid or something, that wasn't the case at ALL, and I don't deserve this treatment that you're giving me". Which may have been a bit too forward, but it was the truth. I just didn't understand what she thought I did wrong, she was making no sense. I showed the email to the counselor, and she read it. Overall she said that it was worded well and that it was fine, but that that part could possibly have been worded a bit differently. It's not a direct quote (the part above) but that was what it was. Even then, she said, it wasn't all that bad and it wasn't wrong, and R shouldn't have acted how she did. ------ I just want to make peace, and it's really hard for me to not say anything to that girl that's one of her only couple of friends that I still talk to. Like she gives me rides to school sometimes if it's raining still, and I talk about random things in the car with her but damn, I want to get her to give R messages or something lol...
Author Highschool Posted February 28, 2013 Author Posted February 28, 2013 I understand it's a long post, every time I make posts about this I end up making them very long, longer than the email I sent her. But I can't shorten this stuff imo, so sorry. We were planning to go to prom and she was super-excited, and everyone's constantly talking about it and it makes me feel bad ... because I think about her when it's mentioned, though I don't show it. Every time people mention going to the movies too, I think about the fact that she was all excited when I asked her to see the Hobbit with me, her parents agreed too although she said her dad said he's driving. She was so excited to go and talked about how excited she was to go with me. Then I was cut off randomly. I still care about her.
Toddbt12y1 Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 Lots of baggage. Too much and too misery. If shs gets freedom, she will be wild. I wouldn't be with her. 1
Author Highschool Posted February 28, 2013 Author Posted February 28, 2013 Lots of baggage. Too much and too misery. If shs gets freedom, she will be wild. I wouldn't be with her. She mentioned her parents a lot since it seemed like it was always "Oh my parents are so upset with me over X", always some silly thing that my parents would never be upset about. She always told me that she wanted to leave this town and never come back, but I never was told why besides "I don't like it here". I get it now, and even though a lot of people think she's some perfect good girl who's very smart and driven, there's a lot more to it than that. --- However, I still care about her and on top of that I feel sorry for her too, I just wish I could patch things up with her, or even just tell her that I'll still be here for her if she needs someone to talk to. I haven't said a word to her since before Christmas break, which is when she flipped out on me. During Valentine's week the cafeteria speakers were playing love songs all week, and during that week she only gave me embarassed, sad looks, and I'm just going to feel bad if this keeps going on lol... I understand it's just high school, and that I'm probably "going to forget this girl's name after high school" and "she's not worth my time", but as a respectful human being I'd like to get some closure with her...
Toddbt12y1 Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 No. you won't forget her any day or years to come. Mind doesn't work that way. Respectful human? No. forget that. In this case, it's childish. Closure? Why? It's over. Even if it wasn't, there would always be problems. She has too much bagagge and is a closet rebel. What I mean is: she is wanting to rebel against her parents ironwill. This will drive her to the wildside. Until she comes to terms with her problems. It will only beat you down. It's good you care for her. But nothing you can do...but I know you'll talk to her. Who knows what lies ahead? Probably more problems... 1
Author Highschool Posted February 28, 2013 Author Posted February 28, 2013 No. you won't forget her any day or years to come. Mind doesn't work that way. Respectful human? No. forget that. In this case, it's childish. Closure? Why? It's over. Even if it wasn't, there would always be problems. She has too much bagagge and is a closet rebel. What I mean is: she is wanting to rebel against her parents ironwill. This will drive her to the wildside. Until she comes to terms with her problems. It will only beat you down. It's good you care for her. But nothing you can do...but I know you'll talk to her. Who knows what lies ahead? Probably more problems... I just used those quotes because it's what other people have said to me before. Well I just don't like the idea that she's upset at ME, or that's what it feels like. I guess it's her problem, but I say that and don't believe that for some reason. I still feel like I could've done something that wouldn't of made the situation turn out this way, but again, I guess she was the one that made this the way it is, and even if something worked out it would be a train-wreck with her. I'm pretty sure she's embarrassed about her parents, and I know that she wouldn't say anything about them freaking out or anything, but I'd really like to say something to know that she feels okay about the situation, like "No hard feelings, I'm sorry if I upset you and I'm not upset at you", and leave it at that lol. The constant game where we avoid each other is bugging me and I'd just like to be able to see her somewhere and give each other smiles and that's it. If it's childish, I'm sorry. But I'm 17 and have had 0 experience with situations like this, so I'm pulled to do something like this lol. I've been avoiding her since the end of december successfully, but it's harder and harder to not say something with every day... EDIT: Thank you for the advice though, I appreciate it.
Toddbt12y1 Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 You're alright. Plenty of girls out there. You could try to just be friendly. Though, that sometimes sets people back. 1
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