trainrek07 Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 I need help trying to figure out a very confusing situation involving my ex. Sorry that it's kinda long. Thanks for taking the time to read this and to give me some input. I really appreciate it. The back story is at the end. My ex and I have been broken up for a year and we haven’t talked to each other since. I haven’t even seen her around town or anything and she only lives a couple miles away, pretty much like she disappeared. Recently though, since the end of January, I’ve seen her every time I go out to some of my favorite places. Sometimes it will be two nights in a row at two different places. We don’t talk to each other and we haven’t acknowledged each other besides once when we caught eyes, but I had no idea she was even there until our eyes met. She gave me an attentive look but I just stared blankly as I didn’t expect it, kept on walking, and left as I was already in the process of leaving. So I guess I'm the one who hasn't acknowledged her yet. She will talk to and try to be friendly with my friends who she wouldn’t even know unless she knew me. One of them (my best friend’s girlfriend) she didn’t even like and was vocal about it. Another one of my friends I was really close to until I started dating my ex. I think my ex was suspicious that I had a thing for her while we were dating because she asked me if I had ever slept with her, which I never did and I assured her there was never anything between us, but I don’t think she totally believed me. That friend and my ex were both at my favorite bar seeing the same band and my ex was trying to be super friendly with her like they were long lost best friends. My friend didn’t quite recognize her until I reminded her and then she seemed weirded out. Also a couple of my friends are in a band and while my best friend and I were talking to them while they were packing up after a show she came up and started trying to talk to them right next to us. I’m also still platonic friends with her ex best friend (they got into it bad at the end of our relationship and stopped talking to each other until recently) who recently quit working at my favorite bar. By the way I never pushed for a friendship with her, she did. Well I was talking to her while my ex happened to be there and she said that we couldn’t be friends anymore. I asked why and she said that I was smart and could figure it out. Later that night I saw them hanging out and talking a few times. This is only a couple days after she asked me why we didn’t hang out more often. I think it’s fine if they reconnect and I’ll stop talking to her, but it’s just fishy how it went down. My ex will also go out of her way to walk right past me staring at me, occupy places I have to walk by, stare in my direction from across the room, sit or stand near me, make out with random guys in my proximity, and act like she’s having the time of her life. I’ve done my best to ignore her and have a good time anyways but it’s gotten to the point where it’s bothering me. It’s brought back feelings I thought I was over with. I don’t know if this is all by random coincidence, if she is doing this on purpose, or a mix of both. If she never wants me talking to her or her friends, then why is she talking to my friends and seemingly flaunting herself in front of me? Back story is she was the first girl I was ever in love with or at least thought I was in love with. She started acting differently, we started having problems, and she ended up breaking up with me because she said she wasn’t the girl I needed. I didn’t beg or question her and just left her alone and tried to focus on school, work, family, and friends even though I still wanted her back. I came to find out through her best friend a couple weeks after the break up that she had been talking to some army guy she never met (he was deployed at the time) for a couple months before we were over and she broke up with me to be with that guy when he returned. Her best friend told the army guy about me and he said he never heard of me and he thought that they had been together for a while. After that my ex voluntarily contacted me to try to get me to believe that none of it was true and that her best friend was crazy. He ends up contacting me trying to find out who I was and basically confirmed that my ex was lying. I told him we recently broke up and for him to do what he wants then told him he shouldn’t contact me anymore. She went crazy and told him that her best friend and I were crazy. I asked her what I did to deserve any of that and she said for me to never speak to her or anyone she loves even if they contact me first so that’s what I did and haven’t spoken to her since. They ended up staying together for a few months until he left her for another girl and she’s been single since. I’ve had a couple casual relationships since, but haven’t met anyone who even came close to giving me the feelings I had for her. She is bipolar II. I was 22 and she was 21 at the time of the break up.
gravi1 Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 Some ladies are easily distracted. She did not have enough love or respect for you to hang it out with you and see if what she sees/feels for/in the soldier guy was genuine.She made an impulsive decision which backfired. I am happy for you to have removed yourself from that equation soon enough. She basically had a while to think, she is lonely. She remembers the days with you the security and care. Her calculations are that perhaps if she is back with you, this time she could meet a doctor or lawer online and then in person and then drop you once again. This time the lawer wont ask you any questions, he will sue you-LOL. If a person has done it once, they will most definate do it again, what guarantee can you ever have. You could throw yourself at her knowing whats comming your way or stay well clear
Author trainrek07 Posted February 28, 2013 Author Posted February 28, 2013 (edited) Thanks for the reply, I really appreciate it. Edited February 28, 2013 by trainrek07
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