Brunettie Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 My boyfriend & I have been dating 9 months. Sunday he told me he had been thinking of breaking up bc: - I'm not challenging. (I don't really have deep conversations about everything, and he likes that. Deep conversations about literally everything..as in what book im reading and why I got this shirt instead of this one at the mall) - I'm not super chatty when we hang out with his friends. (We've not hung out that many times..) - He wants a 'do-anything' type person. AKA.we're walking down the road and hear music and just start dancing to it. He asked me one time if I wanted to dance alone on the dance floor with him and I didn't want to. Nevermind the times I actually have done that.. We talked it out. He said he wasn't sure. I said I'd work on those things. He said ok that we'd work on it and could pretend nothing ever happened. Well, after that talk, he was back to normal. The next day when I saw him, he was sort of weird. I asked him about it and he said he had a lot going on and things were going to be weird. He said we were still fine though. Well, on the phone yesterday when we hung up, I said I love you and he just hung up. Idk if I said it and he had already took the phone away from his ear so he didn't hear me, or what. (I did wait a few seconds after we said goodnight before i said it and he hung up right after it. During that talk he told me he wanted me to talk to him about anything & everything. If I want to call him..call him. If I want to text him, text him. etc. So now I'm just wondering..I've got some things to tell him (random stuff that happened today, that he'd find funny) but Idk if I should send him a quick text, or wait til he initiates the convo..
Author Brunettie Posted February 27, 2013 Author Posted February 27, 2013 I guess I have 2 questions really.. 1. Should I text him? or wait until he contacts me 2. Why would he be completely back to normal Sunday after the talk, but Monday he acted strange?
truth_seeker Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 That fact that he told you he was thinking of leaving you means he's halfway out the door. I would let him go as he seems he wants to break up with you. 2
veggirl Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 How can you "work on" becoming someone that you are not? You shouldn't have to do that for a relationship to work. Maybe you should be the one to dump him..?
dasein Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 When they say "thinking of breaking up," make that thought process easy for them and take it as "we are broken up." It is inconsiderate and manipulative to say this kind of thing to a relatively longterm partner. You either break up or you don't, you don't hang a sword over their head. Behave as such until you hear otherwise, so no, wouldn't contact him. Cultivate some other options. Good luck moving past this. 1
Treasa Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 So, he wants you to change who you are at your core, as a person, and he's going to break up with you otherwise? And you agreed to try to change? You two are not right for each other. Break up with him and find someone more like you, or someone who likes you for who you are, not who they want you to be. 1
StanMusial Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 My boyfriend & I have been dating 9 months. Sunday he told me he had been thinking of breaking up bc: - I'm not challenging. (I don't really have deep conversations about everything, and he likes that. Deep conversations about literally everything..as in what book im reading and why I got this shirt instead of this one at the mall) - I'm not super chatty when we hang out with his friends. (We've not hung out that many times..) - He wants a 'do-anything' type person. AKA.we're walking down the road and hear music and just start dancing to it. He asked me one time if I wanted to dance alone on the dance floor with him and I didn't want to. Nevermind the times I actually have done that.. We talked it out. He said he wasn't sure. I said I'd work on those things. He said ok that we'd work on it and could pretend nothing ever happened. Well, after that talk, he was back to normal. The next day when I saw him, he was sort of weird. I asked him about it and he said he had a lot going on and things were going to be weird. He said we were still fine though. Well, on the phone yesterday when we hung up, I said I love you and he just hung up. Idk if I said it and he had already took the phone away from his ear so he didn't hear me, or what. (I did wait a few seconds after we said goodnight before i said it and he hung up right after it. During that talk he told me he wanted me to talk to him about anything & everything. If I want to call him..call him. If I want to text him, text him. etc. So now I'm just wondering..I've got some things to tell him (random stuff that happened today, that he'd find funny) but Idk if I should send him a quick text, or wait til he initiates the convo.. Don't contact him. This sounds like a load of BS to me. For some unknown reason he's not feeling it and if you try to chase him that is probably not going to change.
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