Who expects to be taken care of more: husbands or wives?

[M30USA]

This question is highly subjective. In addition, being "taken care of" means something different to everyone.

 

For the purpose of this question, I'm referring to being "taken care of" while generally neglecting to take care of their spouse in a reciprocating and equal fashion--similar to how a child expects a parent to meet their needs without any or much in return.

 

So, in the current social climate, would you say more husbands or more wives have this mindset?

[CarrieT]

Way too subjective...

 

"Taken care of" in my newly-formed household is definitely two-fold:

 

I take care of my fiance's sexual, emotional, and culinary needs. I make sure he always has clean socks and underwear. It is a small thing, but he will often comment how he feels taken care of that he never has to worry about such trivial things. I manage the kitchen and groceries and while we share in the cooking duties, he never has to worry that we are going to run out of any one particular ingredient.

 

He takes care of my sexual, emotional, and housing needs. I am currently self-employed and my income is a fraction of his so I do not need to worry about rent or food, although I take care of my own bills and insurance. Having been the breadwinner in past relationships, I worry about not pulling my own weight in the relationship and he assures me that I worry too much about such things.

 

We take care of each other.

[Silly_Girl]

In the majority of relationships I'm familiar with there's very much a team ethic. I know a stay-at-home mum who thinks she's hard done by, but she's the exception. Most of my friends recognise different abilities to manage different areas, and that there's a household 'output' overall, and often there's a need to support one or the other's education/career challenges.

[Fallen Petals]

It highly depends in oh so many ways. I have always been "caretaker" to my men - boyfriends, husband, children - you name it. Once I fall in love there are few things I see as a problem to do for them. I've had to find a balance in this area - but I find I know a LOT of women with similar traits. Some of them are taken care of financially but do everything else, others are more like me and will take on anything and everything - whether they want to or not. I'm open and more aware of my needs now, so I now expect in future relationships that there will be an exchange rather than either of us "taking care" of the other. (illness notwithstanding) We will care for one anothers needs.

[Silly_Girl]

It highly depends in oh so many ways. I have always been "caretaker" to my men - boyfriends, husband, children - you name it. Once I fall in love there are few things I see as a problem to do for them. I've had to find a balance in this area - but I find I know a LOT of women with similar traits. Some of them are taken care of financially but do everything else, others are more like me and will take on anything and everything - whether they want to or not. I'm open and more aware of my needs now, so I now expect in future relationships that there will be an exchange rather than either of us "taking care" of the other. (illness notwithstanding) We will care for one anothers needs.

 

I used to be like that. My needs were secondary to his. And his kids, his work, his parents, his hobby. I liked being helpful and there were things I was good at that I enjoyed. But now I'm in an extremely MUTUAL set-up and got used to it a lot quicker than I'd have thought. I love it. Hope you enjoy it too

[Nyla]

Way too subjective...

 

"Taken care of" in my newly-formed household is definitely two-fold:

 

I take care of my fiance's sexual, emotional, and culinary needs. I make sure he always has clean socks and underwear. It is a small thing, but he will often comment how he feels taken care of that he never has to worry about such trivial things. I manage the kitchen and groceries and while we share in the cooking duties, he never has to worry that we are going to run out of any one particular ingredient.

 

He takes care of my sexual, emotional, and housing needs. I am currently self-employed and my income is a fraction of his so I do not need to worry about rent or food, although I take care of my own bills and insurance. Having been the breadwinner in past relationships, I worry about not pulling my own weight in the relationship and he assures me that I worry too much about such things.

 

We take care of each other.

 

This sounds like my husband and I.

 

I am currently working part time while I study, so he is paying all the bills. Even when I secure a position in my new career, my husband will still pay much more because he will always make double what I do.

 

He takes care of me financially, emotionally and sexually. I take care of my husband emotionally, sexually and domestically.

[Got it]

I think it really does depend. I can't say who is taken care of more so or who expects it more so. You can have two individuals in the same relationship that feels that because they do x more than the other, they are doing more. Same relationship, same two people, two different perceptions. You can have in one relationship, one party looking for financial care and the other for for emotional care. So they are both expecting to be taken care of but in two different "pools". So they don't cross over.

 

For my relationship we split things. I take care of more of the financial as he has his kids and ex wife to take care of as well and I gross more than him at this time. We split the household chores (He blinks faster on the dish washing ) and I hope we take care of the emotional needs equally. He is taking over the bill paying.