GlassesSeventy Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 I don't get why dumpers do this - it's not as if they don't have friends of their own, already. I sent a long-winded message to my ex a few days ago, telling her we should finally stop talking because it's stopping me moving on, and she was like, "OK, cool". A day later and I get a text saying she'll always see me as friend etc. I don't get this - is it guilt, what? I don't think it's fair. Dumping always seems to be on the dumper's terms, regardless of what the dumpee wants or needs.
geegirl Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 So you didn't heed the advice you got the last time and had to learn the hard way. Dumpers are not emotionally attached or affected. Therefore, suggesting "friends' is no sweat off their back. And for various reasons, including relieving themselves of guilt. It's not up to the dumper to accommodate the dumpees wants and needs. It's up to you as the dumpee to decide what works best for your own healing and moving on. 2
richard9 Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 Dumpers are not emotionally attached or affected. Therefore, suggesting "friends' is no sweat off their back. And for various reasons, including relieving themselves of guilt. agree, they may feel guilt over the pain they caused, but they are more than likely out and about getting on with their lives, with only a passing thought for the guy / girl they dumped. 1
na49 Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 Yup geegirl nailed it. As depressing as it is, they don't have the same feelings we do, so friendship is a take it or leave it offer and they aren't losing any sleep if we refuse. 1
Own Worst Enemy Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 "You are my best friend. I will ALWAYS be desperate to be friends with you and I will always miss you". He means it. I can't do it. This is actually worse than him not caring at all!
Own Worst Enemy Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 and just because they don't love you doesn't mean they don't care. It's just not in the way you want or need them to. Which sucks the big one, unfortunately.
TaraMaiden Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 It's not up to the dumper to accommodate the dumpees wants and needs. It's up to you as the dumpee to decide what works best for your own healing and moving on. Please take note of this. She doesn't control your connection, or ability to gett hrouh to you. You do. The next time you get a text from her, you need - honestly, you really do need - to send back an immediate text: type her number, followed by Text blocker activated. your message could not be delivered. Send it instantly. She'll get that message. Let's hope she gets the message. 3
Author GlassesSeventy Posted February 27, 2013 Author Posted February 27, 2013 Please take note of this. She doesn't control your connection, or ability to gett hrouh to you. You do. The next time you get a text from her, you need - honestly, you really do need - to send back an immediate text: type her number, followed by Text blocker activated. your message could not be delivered. Send it instantly. She'll get that message. Let's hope she gets the message. Thanks. You're right, I DID learn the hard way. But I am finally ready to let it all go and help myself by moving on.
TaraMaiden Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 "You are my best friend. I will ALWAYS be desperate to be friends with you and I will always miss you". He means it. I can't do it. This is actually worse than him not caring at all! and just because they don't love you doesn't mean they don't care. It's just not in the way you want or need them to. Which sucks the big one, unfortunately. I love your forum name.... Are you going to live up to it - or disprove it?
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