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She is stuck to my head and I can't move on...


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Posted

Okay, so I am typing this because I just wanna get it out of my system.

I saw a girl in a shop, 6 years ago... Her AMAZING eyes caught my attention. I just thought, what's the point, I'm only 12 this year and we will both be going to different schools. Keep in your mind that I only saw her at a store...

 

2 weeks later, I started secondary school. BAM, she's there... So much happiness went through my mind. An amazing feeling. I really wanted to talk to her, which was made much easier because our school had a program for new students to get to know each other within the first few weeks. Surprise surprise, I was put in her group... but we never got to talk because even though we were in the same group, we both got split up.

 

So, year 7 and 8 went by. In year 9, I thought I should really make my move before it's too late. So, I asked my other female friends how I should talk to her... they recommended facebook then slowly move to face to face... Like the idiot I was, I did that. First few days she really liked it, we would smile at each other in school as well... All was good, until I mentioned her brother on facebook... Everything went horribly wrong. Her brother and my brother were friends, but she didn't believe me when I said it.. soon I was the stalker of the school, added weapon for my bullies to use against me because everything else they had been using for the last 4 years had been getting weak.

 

In year 10, I find out she's got herself a guy, he's a rich and "popular" asian kid as compared to me, a brown kid who gets bullied on a daily basis. As I found out, I felt the complete opposite to what I felt when I saw her the first time... So much sadness.

 

Now, 2 years later now the start of 2013, I still have feelings for her and none of the other girls I ever see are more than looks to me like she was. She was a goldmine, a good looking, nice, and kind person.

 

I know it's a lot to read and you probably skimmed through it... but unfortunately I doubt we are both going to the same University... She is stuck in my head, my thoughts are always of her. Unhealthy it may be, I feel happier when I think of her, especially because I am a slightly depressed and low self-esteemed person after years and years of bullying... I avoid new people unintentionally because I am afraid of being judged and bullied again.

 

Luck is never on my side.. One of the bullies are in the same course as me as well.... :( He saw me on the first day... and smiled.. not a "good to see you" smile, but a "You are so screwed again" smile..

Posted

Here's a technique that I use. There's a college professor that I'm really obsessed about but she's married. I'm older than her so it's not the standard professor student relationship. I'm 36 and she's probably 32. When I was her student I would spend about an hour in her office about 4 times a month. Plus we exchanged emails with each other constantly. When I was no longer her student she cooled towards me. I don't like hitting on other men's wives so I tried really hard to forget. Finally I found this technique to put her out of my mind. Whenever I caught myself thinking about her I would immediately say No, and I would try really hard to think about something else. The next time I went to the University campus I didn't go over to the building where her office was. I still have trouble forgetting her but I'm making progress.

Posted

You sound like I was at your age, and the same thing happened to me. I completely fluffed it and I've never seen her again but she was one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen. She actually went to school me but I was plagued with shyness all my teens, and it's a TOTAL ruiner, especially in a guy.

 

I'd say there was a relatively easy, FREE option that may help you a little bit - 100 press-ups a day, religiously, then as more as you can take, you can get STRONG quick, the bullies won't feel like a problem at all, you'll have more confidence/bravado and a better figure, you can do this in under two weeks, and on your own floor! I didn't do this back then but wish I had.

 

Seriously, might sound like strange advice but please consider giving it a try. ;)

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