Emissary Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 I don't really need to go into great detail about the girl I'm starting to date. The only important bits are that she's 17, I'm 25, she also lives on her own because her dad is a physically/emotionally abusive alcoholic and has hit her in the past, she's dealt with a lot of crap in her life and as a result is an adult in terms of maturity in my eyes. The mother is where it gets complicated, I've known her for a few years while I've only known her daughter about half a year. We all work at the mall, the mom is at the tobacconists, my girlfriend works at Sears, and I work at Tim Hortons where pretty much all the mall staff ends up visiting for their various breaks. I've always been very friendly with her mom, being somebody for her to chat with when she frequently came for her coffee (her shop is right across from mine), then her daughter came into the mix, I was smitten with her right away, but her age and the general impression that she had a boyfriend stopped me from making any sort of move. Once I realized she was single, it became a very different situation, not only that, she was starting to crush on me as well I believe, eventually inviting me to visit her at her workplace later. Before I did that, I visited the tobacconist to pick up smokes for co-worker who was too busy to get them herself. Her mom was there, I wasn't worried about being judged since she knows I don't smoke, but I knew I was walking right into a trap. She knew her daughter was getting more social with me, she knew I was going off to meet her, I guess her daughter told her. I would rather my age had been a mystery to her until I proved I wasn't just some creepy guy manipulating a minor, but alas, the jig was up. She never carded me before, but this time she did, because she was "just curious". I had expected her to tell her daughter, but I wondered if she withheld the information, her daughter hasn't been any less friendly to me on any of the days of our various interactions. However, as we were setting up for a second attempt at our first date(we cancelled the first time around because her grandpa was diagnosed with lung cancer right before the date), I decided I needed to be honest with her before anything happens at all. I told her that I know how old she is, but was not sure if she knows how old I am, that I know her mother knows, but I didn't know if she told her or not. Her mom did tell her, while at least it was a relief to know we're both cool with our age difference, it confirmed to me that her mom has made a move against me. I don't know how she broke it to her, whether she disapproves, or if she's merely concerned that her daughter is entering this whole thing blindly. I've only seen the mom once since she carded me, and she was with her daughter, so it was difficult to get any scope on anything. I'd like to clear the air with her about my intentions for her daughter, but I fear the bridge is already on the verge of burning.
theLWord Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 If her mother is a good mother, she would disapprove. Why would you consider dating a 17 year teenager when you are a 25 year old” adult”? If it was my daughter, I'd try to file charges. What could you possibly have in common with a kid? Its sick, and you need to examine your emotional maturity. And break up with this kid before you get her knocked up and ruin her life. If you had a daughter, would you be okay with that? 2
FitChick Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 She can have you thrown in jail. Break it off until the girl is 18.
Author Emissary Posted February 27, 2013 Author Posted February 27, 2013 You know, just because she's not 18 doesn't mean there's anything illegal involved. Age of consent is 16 in Canada, hell, it used to be 14 until a few years ago. Besides, if you guys honestly think the primary reason behind a relationship is sex, then you're the children here. As for what we have in common, we actually have a lot in common. We're not exactly struggling to find common ground with each other to say the least. Like I said, she's seen a lot, it's our experiences in life that shape us into adults. It's not unheard of for somebody on the verge of becoming a legal adult to have maturity on par with that of an actual young adult. Likewise, there are many girls my age who behave like complete children. There are no definitive rules when it comes to dating, a match is a match.
Recommended Posts