kaylan Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 The girls me and my buddy are seeing happen to be friends. So the girls have their chats, and sometimes I get to hear some details seeing as Im the guy this chick is close with at the moment. We are all friends...so talking happens. There seems to be a disconnect in what some women online say about a guys manhood size, and what Ive always heard women say in real life. My gal even said "I dont care what girls try to say...we know size is a factor when dating a guy". And its not the first time Ive heard this. Ive only seen women online use the motion in the ocean argument a lot. Which is a true statement...but the motion feels different depending on the size of the boating vessel. My buddy is tooootally into his chick, but apparently his chick isnt feeling it as much. And me and my gal are counting the time before he gets burned. Normally Id warn a bro of impending doom, but I cant be a big mouth when it comes to pillow talk...and hes a big boy who will surely bounce back. My friend gets a decent amount of interest from women and has a slight rep...so Im sure he will find someone new if things go south, even if it sucks. But it does seem his size and sexual skill has had an affect on this girls interest. On top of the fact that shes with him because her first choice lives too far away at school. I guess this thread is a slight counter to that thread about men settling, seeing as my buddy is being settled for right now. Hopefully things work out, but theres a low chance of that when the girl is less into you than you are into her, and when shes not supremely satisfied with the sex. Anyways, though Im not gonna warn my friend, would you? And also, if you found out someone was kind of settling on you, Im sure youd immediately bail right?
johan Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 Depends on the circumstances. I might tell him or I might mind my own business. It isn't my job to go around fixing everything all the time. But I'm also not going to play the game of deception against my friend. Or really anyone else, for that matter. 1
Author kaylan Posted February 27, 2013 Author Posted February 27, 2013 Depends on the circumstances. I might tell him or I might mind my own business. It isn't my job to go around fixing everything all the time. But I'm also not going to play the game of deception against my friend. Or really anyone else, for that matter. While I do have inside information...Im not really at odds here unless he outright asks me if I heard anything. Which I doubt he will do...hopefully not.
ltjg45 Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 It depends on the scenario. If it something truly alarming (and I don't mean breaking up), I rather tell him. Otherwise, I rather for those 2 to solve it out themselves. At least I know myself why he is in such a bad mood next time. 1
Drseussgrrl Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 Stay out of it. If you say anything it's just going to cause problems for you and the girl you're seeing, and between her and her friend. Not worth it. 1
Author kaylan Posted February 27, 2013 Author Posted February 27, 2013 Stay out of it. If you say anything it's just going to cause problems for you and the girl you're seeing, and between her and her friend. Not worth it. Like I said in the OP, I always planned to stay out of it. I was just wondering what others would do if they were me, or if they were the person being settled for.
MrCastle Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 (edited) If I were you I would tell the guy. But I'm too honest to keep things like that from people. It would eat at me. As far as staying with someone if I knew they were settling..of course f***ing not. That shouldn't even be a discussion. Edited February 27, 2013 by MrCastle 3
Submisfit Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 If you tell him his girlfriend is telling everyone he has a tiny dick, one of two things will happen. 1. He won't believe you, and might get pissed at you for saying something like that. 2. He WILL believe you, and it'll create a huge conflict between him and his girlfriend. This might spill over into your relationship, with your partner feeling that her trust was betrayed. Either of these is a negative for him, and a potential negative for you. Just let the situation play itself out, and be there as a friend if and when things do go south. 1
PJKino Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 Women are brutal and much worse then men when it comes to stuff like this..nothings sacred with them 1
johan Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 While I do have inside information...Im not really at odds here unless he outright asks me if I heard anything. Which I doubt he will do...hopefully not. I don't know if you have all the required information though. You know some of her thoughts, but not necessarily all of them. And you don't know whether she'll ultimately act on the thoughts she expressed or the ones she didn't. And actually, I wouldn't even go so far as to say you necessarily know what she thinks. You just know what she said. She could have serious or not-so-serious motivations for saying something like that. One thing you do know is that she's the type to say negative things about someone she's close to when they aren't around, and to me that is a maturity/character problem. She isn't smart enough yet to realize she has nothing to gain by saying things like that. 5
Eternal Sunshine Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 johan and kaylan are really connecting 1
Soxfaninfl Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 (edited) The girls me and my buddy are seeing happen to be friends. So the girls have their chats, and sometimes I get to hear some details seeing as Im the guy this chick is close with at the moment. We are all friends...so talking happens. There seems to be a disconnect in what some women online say about a guys manhood size, and what Ive always heard women say in real life. My gal even said "I dont care what girls try to say...we know size is a factor when dating a guy". And its not the first time Ive heard this. Ive only seen women online use the motion in the ocean argument a lot. Which is a true statement...but the motion feels different depending on the size of the boating vessel. My buddy is tooootally into his chick, but apparently his chick isnt feeling it as much. And me and my gal are counting the time before he gets burned. Normally Id warn a bro of impending doom, but I cant be a big mouth when it comes to pillow talk...and hes a big boy who will surely bounce back. My friend gets a decent amount of interest from women and has a slight rep...so Im sure he will find someone new if things go south, even if it sucks. But it does seem his size and sexual skill has had an affect on this girls interest. On top of the fact that shes with him because her first choice lives too far away at school. I guess this thread is a slight counter to that thread about men settling, seeing as my buddy is being settled for right now. Hopefully things work out, but theres a low chance of that when the girl is less into you than you are into her, and when shes not supremely satisfied with the sex. Anyways, though Im not gonna warn my friend, would you? And also, if you found out someone was kind of settling on you, Im sure youd immediately bail right? If he was my friend then I would give him the heads up. Friends will always be there for you. Women will come and go from our lives. All relationships have a shelf life. People don't stay together forever anymore. It's a hard reality that I have come to realize. Edited February 27, 2013 by Soxfaninfl 6
ja123 Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 If I were you, I'd stay out of it. The most I'd do is drop a few hints, and show disdain for the woman when your friend talks about her. In fact, I would just change the subject if he brings her up. I'd also not double date with him. Keep you and your chick away from this couple, in case all hell breaks loose. You don't want to be caught up in drama. Also, stay on your toes: you don't know what your chick said to her girlfriend about you. And, no, I wouldn't stay with someone if he were settling for me.
its a lifestyle Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 And, no, I wouldn't stay with someone if he were settling for me. What's that supposed to mean?
phineas Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 If he was a good friend i'd tell him so he could dump her first. She's going around telling people he's got a rinky-dink & bad in bed plus she's only with him because the guy she really wants lives in another zip-code. Be honest with yourself, would you want your friend to tell you? I sure as hell would. Except, I wouldn't call her out on that crap for the sake of whomever told me. I'd just break up with her. Tell her she isn't what i'm looking for. She will rage & I will LOL! 5
kimberlydoll Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 Thats awful. I would warn him. Bros before hoes. Depending on his personality and maturity level, he might get mad at you or not when telling him. If I had a friend tell me the guy Im dating had a complaint like that about me sexually (as long as she is trustworthy), Id thank her. I like to not waste my time on someone and red flags like this can take a loooong time to come out in dating. 3
sabre80 Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 I wonder why no one has brought up the potential fallout of embarrassment and awkwardness between two male friends after discussion of said small unit is brought to light. I would be a little irked that my girl even discussed it with me. I do not want to know how small my friend is. I would not want my friend knowing I know how small he is. Though it sounds silly I think this would cause strain on a male friendship. 1
SteveC80 Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 People are overreacting in the sense that pretty much MOST women do this stuff lol Women are just chatty creatures who feel the need to share everything with people we just have to deal with it 2
SmileFace Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 Besides the whole matter. This is not pillow talk. The girl you are seeing is way out of line. Can you imagine what else she may be sharing? That should be your main concern. She should have not shared this with you, point blank 3
Drseussgrrl Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 Maybe this chick should be talking to, oh I dunno, THE GUY SHE'S DATING about this stuff instead of allowing it become fodder for gossip among their mutual friends. Kaylan, seriously stay out of this. If you tell your buddy, the girl you're dating will feel like she can't trust you as I'm assuming this was simple pillow talk. Problems and drama all around if you involve yourself. It would be one thing if she was cheating; then you'd have an obligation. But so far it sounds like she's just confiding in a girlfriend about the dude she's dating and you just happen to be his buddy. It would be like someone coming here and starting a thread - "I like the guy I'm dating, but not sure about the sex". Would you automatically assume that she's an awful person about to hurt the guy she's involved with? 2
Drseussgrrl Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 Besides the whole matter. This is not pillow talk. The girl you are seeing is way out of line. Can you imagine what else she may be sharing? That should be your main concern. She should have not shared this with you, point blank I also agree with this.
carhill Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 If this wasn't hearsay, and the man was a close friend, I'd be inclined to tell him and deal with the fallout. Given the circumstances and the propensity for and personal experience with women playing mind-fµcks on men, I'd leave it alone. If I found out someone was apparently 'settling', I'd confront the issue directly. Better to be alone than settled for, IME. A lot less costly too. Good luck.
MidwestUSA Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 I'm less shocked by the sex aspect of this than the fact that it's known she is dating him because he lives closer than her first choice! What's up with that? Hope I interpreted that right. If she is settling for him, then surely he is already aware of that fact, so I vote for saying nothing.
Drseussgrrl Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 The big difference is that she said that in front of a guy who is friends of her boyfriend!! One thing is ask for some information in an anonymous way in a internet forum and other thing is to complain about the size of a man in front of another man... you don't do that! Specially when the other man is a friend of the man you are complaining... How would you like to know your boyfriend said in front of your female friends that you totally under perform in bed or that you have ugly tits? I wouldn't like it at all - but then again these folks seem pretty young. Drama is inevitably more common especially when you start dating within your social circle. 1
MrNate 2.0 Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 Why not just talk to his girl instead, since I assume you two should know each other on some level. Then you can provide input here. No point in turning a molehill into a mountain.
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