Should i stay or should i go??? - suggestions greatly appreciated

[cherry113]

okay im apologizing now because this post will be long but i need help since i cant complete this decision for myself. i have been dating this guy and it will be three years in april. i met him when i was 16 and he and i have been through so much together. i lost my girginity to him and he is also is my first long term relationship. we talked about marriage ad growing old together but i was always on the iffy side when the topic popped up. i had to sacrifice a lot for this guy which basically ended my teenage years. he didnt like me partying so i stopped. he didnt like me having guy friends or associating with them so i lkst a lot of friendships i had for years. i stopped hanging out with people ive been close to because he would get mad at me for it. i also put on 50 pounds since being with him becuase of my inactivity. he does love me i feel because he cares about my future and makes me happy, and makes me laugh. he supports me as well especially when my aunt passed away a year ago. but ive recently been contemplating staying with him. he wants me around 24/7 and it started to make me wonder if i wanted to be around this person for the rest of my life. our families dont like each other and my family especially doesnt like him that well. i dont like his family because they're too clingy and they like to be in my face. and his parents are crazy. to sum it up there is a lot of family drama i dont want to deal with. something that made me think also was when i got accepted to a college i wanted to go to in ATL but i eventually ended up staying home because he threatened a break up. i put my college dreams on hold for this relationship. also he doesnt like to do anything with me like go outside the house. im always sheltered in his house or mine becuase he doesnt want to leave. when im not around though he finds time to leave his house and go out. he also does the things he doesnt want me to do (like talk to females, goes to clubs, and even look in the direction of a female). he makes me feel self conscious becuase im fat and he has a lot of skinny half naked females as friends on social networking sites that he communicates with. i felt the jealousy of me going to college because he didnt graduate high school and always gets upset when i talk about going away for school. i also felt like i wanted to go out and experience other things but i didnt want to hurt his feelings in the process because i feel caged. i dont know how to tell him how i feel especially at this time bcause he lost his grandfather this week. what should i do? is it right to leave & when would be the right time? is he the right or wrong one for me?

[creighton0123]

Cherry,

 

You are not in a mature, adult relationship and it is resulting in you losing the adult woman you are meant to become.

 

Advice? Get out of it. If you two live together, get your things out of the house when he's not there, arrange to meet him somewhere in public and break up with him.

 

He is turning you into an unhappy, unhealthy person. A true partner in life does none of those things.

[coffeebean201]

Hi Cherry,

 

- all families have problems.

 

Sounds like he loves you but that love needs to grow

 

Read up on love languages and see if him bringing you flowers more often, taking you out for dinner dates and bringing you more presents is something you can picture making you happier with him.

 

And start a small project and see if he supports you with it. Initially he won't like your new project but see if he comes around and starts to see you as something more.

 

College may be in your future, but it may take some time to bring him around.