Sun Devil Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 As you know, I have been cold approaching girls on campus. I usually don't talk to girls in groups so I go for girls who are by themselves. The only ones by themselves are either reading a book, listening to music, or on a laptop. How do I initiate conversations with them without being creepy or desperate?
miss_jaclynrae Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 I was reading and had headphones in, he walked up to me, did a little wave and got my attention, as soon as I took out my headphones he asked if I was waiting for anyone. Boom! He is now my boyfriend. 5
Author Sun Devil Posted February 26, 2013 Author Posted February 26, 2013 Would saying "hi, do you mind if I sit hear" be good?
TaraMaiden Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 "Hi do you mind if I sit here?" would be better..... But it's a close-ended question. Don't ask close-ended questions. Always approach with open-ended questions... 3
Author Sun Devil Posted February 26, 2013 Author Posted February 26, 2013 What would be a good example of one?
TaraMaiden Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 WHAT are you reading? Would be good.... Try to peek at what she's doing on her laptop...... Ask first of all if it's ok if you sit there..... then ask her "How do you get through that stuff?" or "What are you studying?" or "Who's your tutor?" Or "Is it homework? When do you have to have it in by?" Or even - "What would you say if I invited you for a coffee?"
Imported Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 Hi, mind if I talk with you a bit? I always ask them if it's OK for me to interrupt whatever it is they were doing. I don't just assume. Most of them do not mind. Actually, never had one that told me they did mind.
Author Sun Devil Posted February 26, 2013 Author Posted February 26, 2013 Is simply asking if I can talk with her good enough?
TaraMaiden Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 You're lucky.... Most girls here (UK) would actually say, "Yes, I DO mind, actually....." The best places to chance memetings are places where people actually GO to 'meet'.... And libraries, whilst buried in laptiops, isn't one of them.... If they're studying, chances are they really don't want interruptions.... And a rebuttal will do your self-confidence no good at all.... You asked for appropriate questions. The most appropriate question you could probably ask is, "When you're done in here, would you like to go for a coffee? I didn't want to disturb you, because i see you're busy - but maybe after, if you're not busy....I could buy you several coffees...!" 1
Phoe Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 Try to peek at what she's doing on her laptop...... I agree with the rest of the post, but not the above part. If someone did that to me I'd feel VERY uncomfortable and like my privacy had been massively invaded. Ask her what class the book is for, how she likes the class, etc. If it's a book she's just reading for fun then ask her about the story, if you are reading a book, ask if she's read it, etc..
Imported Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 Is simply asking if I can talk with her good enough? No, of course not. You should wear your tap dance shoes and do a tap dance routine to the latest Little Wyne song, while juggling geeses or is it gooses. And singing the national anthem for the USA. For the finally, light the gooses on fire and let them fly away. Now you may ask if you can talk with her.
its a lifestyle Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 You're lucky.... Most girls here (UK) would actually say, "Yes, I DO mind, actually....." The best places to chance memetings are places where people actually GO to 'meet'.... And libraries, whilst buried in laptiops, isn't one of them.... If they're studying, chances are they really don't want interruptions.... And a rebuttal will do your self-confidence no good at all.... You asked for appropriate questions. The most appropriate question you could probably ask is, "When you're done in here, would you like to go for a coffee? I didn't want to disturb you, because i see you're busy - but maybe after, if you're not busy....I could buy you several coffees...!" Speak for yourself, or maybe you're age group (much older than mine)... but I'm from the UK and I don't find that to be true at all, and it seems the further north you go the more humble and friendly people seem to be... Also, don't ask to go for a coffee with a girl you literally just met, you get her number (several ways of going about this), and shoot off like you've got other things going on... contact her maybe a day or 2 later and THEN arrange a coffee. 1
TaraMaiden Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 Actually, a friend of mine kept walking back and forth in front of a girl he was trying to 'attract'... and every time he did, he changed the walk, but he would always be looking at her.... It got funnier and funnier, until she began to giggle... "Finally!" he exclaimed, "I was wondering just how much carpet I was going to have to wear out before you took any notice! Would you like to walk this way to the cafeteria for a drink?" And he began waddling off.... To his eternal surprise, she agreed. They got married last march...... 3
Imported Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 Speak for yourself, or maybe you're age group (much older than mine)... but I'm from the UK and I don't find that to be true at all, and it seems the further north you go the more humble and friendly people seem to get... Also, don't ask to go for a coffee with a girl you literally just met, you get her number (several ways of going about this), and shoot off like you've got other things going on... contact her maybe a day or 2 later and THEN arrange a coffee. I think she gave a really good example (the part about going for coffee....with someone you don't know from a hole in the wall) of what girls think they want to hear.......and will think you're a loony if you actually tried it exactly that way. Seriously, you don't know her...you keep it simple and short unless you are both really vibing on each other. You don't assume anything, you don't take anything for granted. Yes, asking a girl if she doesn't mind if I talk with her works great for me. Probably anything will work great for me, because I will make it work great for me. No, it is not luck.
its a lifestyle Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 Actually, a friend of mine kept walking back and forth in front of a girl he was trying to 'attract'... and every time he did, he changed the walk, but he would always be looking at her.... It got funnier and funnier, until she began to giggle... "Finally!" he exclaimed, "I was wondering just how much carpet I was going to have to wear out before you took any notice! Would you like to walk this way to the cafeteria for a drink?" And he began waddling off.... To his eternal surprise, she agreed. They got married last march...... Funny story I like that one, I wasn't saying situations like this don't happen... but advising it as a standard procedure kind of thing to guys looking to score some vag isn't exactly the best advice.
TaraMaiden Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 True... This was a 'second time around' couple.... I guess the OP may be a bit young to be thinking in terms of something so fixed and long-term. My point is, that actually, humour is a great ice-breaker - but it takes confidence to be humorous.... Particularly if there are nerves already, and yeah, all you're really looking for is just something non-committal and 'friendly'.....
Ami1uwant Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 Just remember try to stay within your league....If you nare doing this with someone out of your league you will get a rude response from her if she is constantly getting these hit ons by men on campus.
its a lifestyle Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 Just remember try to stay within your league....If you nare doing this with someone out of your league you will get a rude response from her if she is constantly getting these hit ons by men on campus. Actually, in reality this kind of advise is the reason she's constantly NOT getting hit on by men on campus. 1
CptObvious Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 Actually, a friend of mine kept walking back and forth in front of a girl he was trying to 'attract'... and every time he did, he changed the walk, but he would always be looking at her.... It got funnier and funnier, until she began to giggle... "Finally!" he exclaimed, "I was wondering just how much carpet I was going to have to wear out before you took any notice! Would you like to walk this way to the cafeteria for a drink?" And he began waddling off.... To his eternal surprise, she agreed. They got married last march...... http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/well_done_sir.gif
Wesker Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 Like everything else these days, it all comes down to looks. Good looking dude with a decent body, and he can do just about anything, and get a nice response. Average looking or below, and you're looking at receiving a "creep" response along with some other choice obscenities.
ltjg45 Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 Actually, a friend of mine kept walking back and forth in front of a girl he was trying to 'attract'... and every time he did, he changed the walk, but he would always be looking at her.... It got funnier and funnier, until she began to giggle... "Finally!" he exclaimed, "I was wondering just how much carpet I was going to have to wear out before you took any notice! Would you like to walk this way to the cafeteria for a drink?" And he began waddling off.... To his eternal surprise, she agreed. They got married last march...... That sounds so corny but wow, that was good. I could feel salty at the end of the day but I couldn't help but to laugh at the corniness of it all.
thecrucible Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 I don't like cold approaches, especially when I'm reading on my laptop and want to get my work done. Besides, all it says is "I find you physically attractive" so it's kind of shallow. I don't mind men approaching me in an unforced social situation where we actually have something going on around us that we can talk about it. The only men who've given me cold approaches are ones that have tried to get into my pants. Like everything else these days, it all comes down to looks. Good looking dude with a decent body, and he can do just about anything, and get a nice response. Average looking or below, and you're looking at receiving a "creep" response along with some other choice obscenities. I don't care what the dude looks like. I hate cold approaches.
Estate Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 As you know, I have been cold approaching girls on campus. I usually don't talk to girls in groups so I go for girls who are by themselves. The only ones by themselves are either reading a book, listening to music, or on a laptop. How do I initiate conversations with them without being creepy or desperate? I heard this cool new opener: "Hi!" 1
coffeebean201 Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 Like everything else these days, it all comes down to looks. Good looking dude with a decent body, and he can do just about anything, and get a nice response. Average looking or below, and you're looking at receiving a "creep" response along with some other choice obscenities. Rather than trying to speak with ten of them, just select one or two and then match the activity they are doing (e.g. reading, working on laptop) beside them and after half an hour I'm sure you can strike up a conversation (and get something done) without forcing her to have a conversation that she doesn't want. The trick is looking busy, but interested. I don't think it is based on "good looking".
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