My boyfriend doesn't want me to move abroad with him

[zuzicka]

Hello,

I have been with my boyfriend for about nine months and our relationship has been amazing on almost every level. We never argue, have lots of fun together, make effort to make each other happy, etc..He has quite a senior position in a large international company and he cares a lot about his job. It is certain that within a year or eighteen months he will be sent abroad. I brought this up in a conversation a few times and his reply has always been quite vague along the lines that I should not think about it now which only made me think about it more and more. I brought it up again a couple of days ago as I wanted to find out what his thoughts were with regards to our relationship and his move away. He said he never thought I would want to come with him because that would mean that I would have to give up everything I have fought for. I'm an eastern european and despite initial language barrier I managed to build quite a satisfying career as an accountant and have been progressing well. I asked him what would happen if I was ready to give up my job and whether in this case he would want me to go with him. His answer was I think so..then he went on about how the fact that our relationship is wow now doesn't mean it will be this way in the future and we should enjoy what we have now and not to worry about him going away. I do worry a lot about it though because on some subconcious level I have always felt that he is quite happy being with me for now while he is here but the moment he would have to go away he would just turn his feelings off. I explained my position to him saying that I'm not looking for a husband but I want to be in a relationship with someone who I can commit to and who will feel the same and the fact that he wants me to love him now and stop loving him when he needs to go just seems absurd to me. I didn't get any answer to that, but he almost started crying because he thought i would leave him the next day. I'm very confused about the whole situation. He says he loves me like he never loved anyone before so I don't quite understand how he can be ok with the fact that he will one day leave me behind without a blink of an eye. I'm trying to understand this and maybe I'm analysing this too much, maybe I don't understand the how this and other men think. He is 45 and lived with someone who he says he never really loved for ten years and this is maybe a foundation of some fear he has or maybe he is just a one of those men who will never mature enough to have a committed relationship. I want to find out but I don't know how. He's a very private person who doesn't like talking about his past love life and generally talking about feelings makes him uncomfortable. I don't know what to do - my feelings are currently changing from frustration to anger, to desire to convince him that life with me is nicer than life without me, to desire to leave him because I don't want to be someone who will entertain him while it suits him and leave when he decides my presence is not desirable anymore. I'm a 33 year old woman, quite attractive and I sometimes fear he is with me just because I'm young and pretty although I can feel he really loves me and respects me for what I achieved and for what I am like in addition to my appearance. Please help me understand this, his thinking, maybe I'm missing something, maybe I'm reading too much into it and it's all quite simple but I just don't understand how you can plan to love someone on a temporary basis only.

Thanks for all your inputs, any advice or opinion will be much appreciated.

1