night stands Posted September 3, 2004 Posted September 3, 2004 hi, I am newly single, and I have never had a one night stand, but I went out last week, and met this really nice guy. I was thinking about sleeping with him, but I always hear that girls that do that, "there is something wrong with them" or they are sluts. I was wondering if you have had a night stand, why? did you ever feel like having more than just that in the morning?..and was the guy up to it? Guys- what do you think of girls that have a one night stand with you? This is not a post to be judgemental or rude...please. I just want to understand. I was with my bf for 8 years..and I have never dated much. Thank you!
soccorsilly Posted September 3, 2004 Posted September 3, 2004 I would say go for it if it feels right for you both. If you are older and more mature (25+ IMHO) you probably have the wherwithall to make the decision. I have had a few and do not regret them--one ended in a relationship for two years and the other was a one night stand. But if the feeling is right --and at this point it is probably more passion and lust than anything else--I say go for it. The guy will probably not think any less of you--I know I did not.
Papillon Posted September 3, 2004 Posted September 3, 2004 One-night stands are great, but you have to be very careful, and use lots of protection (spermacidal/virolytic gell is indicated in addition to condoms). Of course, you have to lay the ground rules and specify that you're only interested in a one-nighter (for now).
sami Posted September 3, 2004 Posted September 3, 2004 Rules rarely work on one- night stands. One- night stands are always one- night stands no matter what you do. They start great but end up very devastating particulary when you do not know each other fairly well.
faux Posted September 3, 2004 Posted September 3, 2004 Originally posted by night stands ...Guys- what do you think of girls that have a one night stand with you? I am not going to look at the girl as relationship material.
beautiful Posted September 5, 2004 Posted September 5, 2004 BIG FAT MISTAKE! I never had a one night stand with a guy and would not. Men judge women by this trust me! Sure he will have sex with you however, it will probably the last thing you do with him in the future. I would not do this! Of course if you do not care and all you want is sex, go for it. Not the way to find MR. RIGHT! Good Luck!
night stands Posted September 9, 2004 Posted September 9, 2004 Thanks everyone. I have been out of the market so long, I did not know what I should do. I have never had one of those. I guess it works for some people that they see each other afterwards, I just do not know, but I do not want a guy to think that I am some slut who sleeps with everyone. dating is tough! Thanks
JoL Posted September 16, 2004 Posted September 16, 2004 It can affect how I see a man as well. To me it's an indicator of how a person views/feels about sex.. It doesn't make you a slut, it just means you are comfortable with sharing a sexual experience with someone you don't know very well. If it's something you do over and over, I think most people would find it a bit unsettling in terms of health and safety. For men and women.
saleslady898 Posted September 18, 2004 Posted September 18, 2004 I've been out of the dating scene for 9 yrs as I was involved with somone. I didnt even go out on a date for almost a year because I dont meet alot of men that I am attracted to. I met this guy on line and we really hit it off. We met and had a great time, the chemistry was high up on the chart and we kissed alot , but that is all. For the next week we talked on the phone every night for hours. About everything. What we liked, what we didnt like. We talked about if we had sex if it would or wouldn't be a one night stand, and he assured me that he wasnt into that. He seemed responsible, had a great job, house, was 47 yrs old. I decided that I would do what felt natural, and everything felt natural. I went to his house, about 80 miles away and we spent the weekend together. Had great lovemaking, not just sex. He told me about 1000 time that he loved me and that the chances of us meeting were one in a million. After I left and went home he dissappeared off of the face of the earth. He would call me on my cell in the middle of the night, knowing that the chances of my answering my cell at 2 in the am was zero. Although I tried to ask him in emails and voice mails what had changed he would not give me an answer. It was the strangest thing! Anyone know what might have gone wrong?
bykenore Posted September 18, 2004 Posted September 18, 2004 Well, the one time I had one, I was perfectly willing to see the girl again, but I think she was embarrassed about it. She was a little conflicted... It's one of those things that works for some people and not for others. I highly disagree with people who say it never works though - I've known a few who hopped in the sack half an hour after they met and ended up getting married. Different strokes for different folks. I'd just recommend that you should be sure you don't have one of those nagging superegos. Some women, probably the majority, have a very difficult time getting the voice out of their heads that screams "slut!" whenever they do something that mother wouldn't approve of. On the flip side, there are certain freakazoid men who will move heaven and earth to sleep with a woman, and once they've done it, they're like "ewww... what a slut!" Like, look in the mirror, pal. Sure, you'll alienate them, but basically those guys aren't much more than human dildoes anyway. As usual, it comes down to "know yourself."
babybear Posted September 19, 2004 Posted September 19, 2004 I'm a woman, and have had a one night stand. Of course, it turned into me and him sleeping together a couple more times, but never anything serious. Now, I am not a promiscuous person at all..and besides him, I only slept with a few other long term bf's. At the time, it felt right, and it was what I wanted. Did I feel bad/dirty/slutty...no way! Everyone is different, so there is no judging how you are going to feel the next day. Maybe you might feel bad, and maybe you might hope he calls you. You have to decided what feels right for you and go with that. You aren't a bad person for doing it, just make sure that you are old enough and mature enough to be having casual sex, and more importantly, SAFE SEX. Bb
babybear Posted September 19, 2004 Posted September 19, 2004 One more thing... Don't have a one night stand hoping to get a full-fledged relationship out of it. It probably isn't going to happen. AND, I don't know why girls worry about being slutty. You and him are using each other for the same purpose...so why can he call you a slut, and you sit home and hope he calls again? Personally, if I had a one night stand with a guy and the sex was great, I would hope he called me agan for no other reason than to have sex again...b/c if he's doing that with me, he's probaby doing it with tons of ppl, and I don't want him as a bf!!! Bb
saleslady898 Posted September 19, 2004 Posted September 19, 2004 Well, this wasnt exactly a one night stand. We had already gone out on a date and really hit it off. We talked on the phone about twice a day for a week for about a week. We talked about all sorts of things. How we felt about all kinds of personal issues. We talked about sex, and how we felt about having casual sex, and of course he said that he didnt like it. He only had sex with one parnter or none. He invited me up to his house, 80 miles from where i live and cooked me dinner, bought me a little present, was very gracious and gentlemanly. I wanted to sleep with him and we talked about that too. We both agreed that it would not be a one nighter. It wasnt like I had just met him that night. We had talked about all sorts of stuff for the past week and I felt like I knew him pretty well. I was comfortable with it and he was too, so we had sex. I spent the whole weekend, he was fine the next morning telling me how much he loved me and how lucky he was to have finally find me, and I felt the same. We slept together the next night too, but in the morning I could feel the tension. That something was off. That was the end of that. I didnt feel slutty. I wanted him to call me again, but he strung it along and only called my cell phone in the middle of the night to leave a message when he knew that the chances were 1 in a million that I would answer my cell that late at night. It is usually off at that hour. That is why I am so perplexed. Any ideas?
Stone Posted September 19, 2004 Posted September 19, 2004 If it is a One Night Stand then why do you care what he thinks of you in the morning... You'll probably never see him again.... That is a one nighter right? Just wear protection
saleslady898 Posted September 19, 2004 Posted September 19, 2004 Thats just it. It wasnt just a one night stand. We had gotten to know each other before hand. But after we slept together, he bolted.
sami Posted September 19, 2004 Posted September 19, 2004 May be, I'm not sure, all that he was looking for was what he really got ( sleeping & leaving).
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