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Girlfriend left me and other life problems.. DO I end it all?


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Posted

Hello,

My name is Dillon I'm 20 years old...

 

I have had a really tough time these last few weeks.. I am a Christian first off and I am losing hope.. I don't think that I can go on.. My girlfriend left me after 2 and a half years, and my aunt died on the same night. I can not handle all this stress. I have prayed to God but there has been no answers... Also my she wont talk to me at all about why she left me.. She told me I was the love of her life and she wanted to marry me.. She is the love of my life.. I love her with all my heart. I just need her to move on.. I feel worthless. Also I am 2 and a half hours away at college so I can not be near my family.. I didn't even get to say goodbye to my aunt.. All I do is cry and I am VERY depressed. I really don't know what to do!!! I think that I am going to give up.. I don't know what to do, I have tried talking to people but they just don't understand me... I am not a crazy guy either. I have never thought about suicide.. I really loved this girl so much.. I feel she is the one for me. Maybe if I am gone she will realize what she did to me? And it would be easy for her to move on? I feel like I can not move on.. I may never love again. My life feels pointless at this moment.. I am seriously thinking of giving up...

8 minutes ago - 4 days left to answer.

Additional Details

Also. I have no money to continue college and i am all my own.. I feel like I can not succeed.. The school is raising the tuition by 7k next year and I can't do that even with the money they have given me for a track scholarship... And as for her.. I believe she is gone for good. She wont even talk to me!

 

 

Also...

She said I treated her better than anyone ever has, and that I was the best boyfriend ever. I really wanna kill myself, I can't picture my life without her; we were talking about moving in together and starting our lives together and she took it all away from me. I have nothing now, I wanna drop out of college, and just not be here anymore. All I feel is pain! She swore to me she would NEVER LEAVE ME. I feel so pitiful and I feel like complete ****...

 

I think im going to give up...

Posted

Dillon, there's always hope. Trust me, it will get better. Are you in the US? If so please call 1-800-273-8255. If you are in the UK call 08457 90 90 90.

 

And feel free to talk to us here too.

  • Like 1
Posted

She gave up on you so she isn't the "one" for you no matter how much you think she is. I've said it before "The night is always darkest before the dawn" Something good will happen for you - hang in there.

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Posted

this is the rest of it...

Hello,

My name is Dillon I'm 20 years old.

 

I have had a really tough time these last few weeks.. I am a Christian first off and I am losing hope.. I don't think that I can go on.. My girlfriend left me after 2 and a half years, and my aunt died on the same night. I can not handle all this stress. I have prayed to God but there has been no answers... She told me that she needed some time for herself and she said we might work out in the future.. I am away at college and she is at home going to school. She got in a fight with her mom and had to move in with her dad and has had alot of changes. New school, new life.. I feel like she is pushing me away... Also I think the reason is sexual things we had a sexual relationship and I let that blind me... I would get mad over stupid things... It was dumb of me... But I have chose to take a vow of abstinence because of this... I have no need for sex in my life, it ruined my life... Also my she wont talk to me at all about why she left me.. She told me I was the love of her life and she wanted to marry me.. She is the love of my life.. I love her with all my heart. I just need her to move on.. I feel worthless. Also I am 2 and a half hours away at college so I can not be near my family.. I didn't even get to say goodbye to my aunt.. All I do is cry and I am VERY depressed. I really don't know what to do!!! I think that I am going to give up.. I don't know what to do, I have tried talking to people but they just don't understand me... I am not a crazy guy either. I have never thought about suicide.. I really loved this girl so much.. I feel she is the one for me. Maybe if I am gone she will realize what she did to me? And it would be easy for her to move on? I feel like I can not move on.. I may never love again. My life feels pointless at this moment.. I am seriously thinking of giving up...

 

Also. I have no money to continue college and i am all my own.. I feel like I can not succeed.. The school is raising the tuition by 7k next year and I can't do that even with the money they have given me for a track scholarship... And as for her.. I believe she is gone for good. She wont even talk to me!

 

 

Also...

She said I treated her better than anyone ever has, and that I was the best boyfriend ever. I really wanna kill myself, I can't picture my life without her; we were talking about moving in together and starting our lives together and she took it all away from me. I have nothing now, I wanna drop out of college, and just not be here anymore. All I feel is pain! She swore to me she would NEVER LEAVE ME. I feel so pitiful and I feel like complete ****...

 

I think im going to give up...I need her.. I need her more then anything.. I feel so incomplete..

Posted

Saxton/Dillon, you won't kill yourself.

You know why?

 

because this is the third time you have now posted.

 

And that's a really good sign.

Because, look: You first posted on the 18th.

 

A week ago.

 

And guess what?

You're still here.

 

Which means that every day that dawns, no matter how miserable and down you may feel, one thing is for sure.

You're alive, because you want to be.

 

If you're at college, they must have a counsellor available to speak to.

or go to your local church and speak to a priest there.

Maybe God has been trying to talk to you, but because of how you feel, you may not have been hearing.

 

God puts people in your life to help your heart grow in compassion and kindness.

 

You now know just to what depths you are capable of loving.

 

You now need to have compassion and kindness for yourself, because God makes us unique and individual.

 

There isn't anyone else on this entire planet remotely like you.

You are unique, and as such, have your own special brand of qualities to offer.

You are a gift to others.

Do not squander such a talent.

 

Seek actual help.

See your College Counsellor, or go to your local church.

 

God speaks to his children in unique and different ways.

 

Maybe your coming here, is a way for him to tell you that he expects you to have trials and tribulations - but that he has also gifted you with the strength to deal with them.

Posted

Dude, NO GIRL IS WORTH ENDING YOUR LIFE OVER!!! NOT ONE!

 

If you are THAT bad go to the emergency room. Tell them what's going on in your life. You need to talk to someone.

 

You said that you've prayed to God, but you're not getting any answers? Did you even think that God may have sent you here? Maybe that's your answer.

 

Why would you even want to kill yourself? Do you know what's that going to do to the people that love you. It's not only you you're going to hurt. It's everyone.

 

So, do you want to make a statement to her? Make her feel bad about dumping you? Will that hurt her the way she hurt you? Yeah, she'll feel bad for a while. But, do you know what's going to happen, she'll get over it. She meet someone, have a family and carry on while you're six feet under. How is that being fair to youself? I PROMISE you that there IS a girl out there for you. You may have thought that your Ex is the one. But, when you ACTUALLY meet the girl you are entended to be with, you'll understand. She's out there right now, waiting for you to find her. Don't rob her of a future without you.

 

And as far as school goes. The money is there. THEY WILL FIND IT FOR YOU! I know what I'm talking about. I'm a College Professor. Universities are seeing a decline in enrollments due to hard economic times. So, they aren't about to lose anymore students if they can help it. Go to the admissions office and talk to them. See if you can get an adjustment to your FAFSA. There are scholarships out there that you're not aware of that you may qualify for. There are grants that you may qualify for. The money is there, you just need to look for it, and they will help you find it.

 

Go get some help IMMEDIATELY!! Don't do anything stupid. Talk to us. We have been right where you're at right now. And we've survived it. So, let us help you get through this.

  • Like 1
Posted (edited)

Dillon, suicide is permanent. A permanent solution to a temporary problem.

 

Secondly, call the hotline that Kelly suggested. You need to find ways to cope with these dark thoughts.

 

A couple of weeks ago, I was hiking up the Shenandoah mountains and my boyfriend got call that his son's friend committed suicide. He was 19 years old. We went to the funeral. The grief and heartbreak his parents were going through, especially his mother. I can't imagine the pain they were feeling. I couldn't stop crying either. And everyone wanted to know why? Why? Why? Why?

 

Now, you want to throw your life away for a woman. Please think about all the people that love and care for you. Can you actually imagine putting your family through that, leaving them because you can't face the world because of some girl. Your feelings for her will fade. It feels hopeless now because it is raw. But I swear to you it won't always be this way.

 

You are 20. This feeling you have right now, we have all been through. The devastation of losing a loved one, is painful. Did we make it through? Yes. Did I make it through when I had to be forced to let go of the love of my life at 26? Yes, but it hurt like hell and it felt like death was an easy way out. But I kept on going even when there were days I felt it would be less painful to rip my guts out than feel that pain.

 

Think about this. Do you think a year from now, you will be feeling this same intensity? I bet you not. But how would you know because you would have eliminated your chances of ever knowing what life could entail because you were too much of a coward to face it. This situation is a sliver of the enormity of your life. Trust at 40 you will look back and smack yourself upside the head. But how would you know? You would be dead.

 

Do you see how permanent suicide is?

 

Call that number.

Edited by geegirl
  • Like 1
  • Author
Posted

I am talking on the phone to a rep now...

Posted

Good, I'm glad to hear it. Get the immediate help you need. And we will be here when you need to talk, get advice, vent! Scream, cry....trust me on this, we have all been there and know what you're going through. People here will listen and help...all you need to do is ask.

Posted
I am talking on the phone to a rep now...

 

Good.

 

Please come here and vent and talk your feelings out. There is always a way out. Believe me, your life sounds like mine when I was in my twenties and there were dark times. You will get through this. It will be painful, but you will get to the other side.

 

Please keep us updated.

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