venusianx13 Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 I don't think I could tolerate dating a man who didn't like animals. My boyfriend is so-so about cats, which was understandable to me, since he is allergic, but he doesn't hate them. I'm allergic to a lot of animals, unfortunately, but that doesn't stop me from loving them/owning them (to an extent - I'm certainly not a hoarder!) I did wildlife rehab for a while and would love to do it again some day... in fact, one of my dreams is to work with orphaned and/or injured animals in Africa for a couple of months.
Drseussgrrl Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 Funny this is brought up. I am a HUGE animal person. The boyfriend is definitely NOT. That being said, he didn't make it hugely obvious he didn't like animals at all while dating, so if never came up early in the dating stages. I knew he wasn't a fan, and he doesn't understand the "animal person" mindset. Since we have been together for some time now, he is fully aware that if he wants me he at some point will have to put up with some animals in the house. It is kind of cute actually, I had to get rid of my cats [since we were moving in together, our place is tiny and we don't really have time, plus he doesn't like them] and I straight up told him that while he may not understand, it was very emotionally hard on me and that I needed his support. He then started going on about how once he gets back from France and he has more time, we could look into getting a dog. It would have been a deal breaker for me if he made it clear he NEVER wanted animals ever! I could tell he had a little soft spot though, and he truly does. He just isn't an animal person. You got rid of your pets? There's NO WAY I'd move anywhere I couldn't take my dog. PERIOD. 3
Imajerk17 Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 (edited) Funny this is brought up. I am a HUGE animal person. The boyfriend is definitely NOT. That being said, he didn't make it hugely obvious he didn't like animals at all while dating, so if never came up early in the dating stages. I knew he wasn't a fan, and he doesn't understand the "animal person" mindset. Since we have been together for some time now, he is fully aware that if he wants me he at some point will have to put up with some animals in the house. It is kind of cute actually, I had to get rid of my cats [since we were moving in together, our place is tiny and we don't really have time, plus he doesn't like them] and I straight up told him that while he may not understand, it was very emotionally hard on me and that I needed his support. He then started going on about how once he gets back from France and he has more time, we could look into getting a dog. It would have been a deal breaker for me if he made it clear he NEVER wanted animals ever! I could tell he had a little soft spot though, and he truly does. He just isn't an animal person. Wow. I don't have pets myself, but not only would I never ask a woman to get rid of her pets for my sake, I'd BREAK UP with a woman who got rid of her pets unless it was for a VERY good reason and situation. (Such as your place is too small so you "give" your dog to your parents or family member and still see her all the time.) Why? It says a lot about her capacity to love. Her getting rid of her pets otherwise strikes me as very cold. How could you turn your back on a creature that only gives you love and only asks that you take care of him/her in return? I'd consider a cat or dog to be a family member to be honest. Edited February 26, 2013 by Imajerk17 3
veggirl Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 You got rid of your pets? There's NO WAY I'd move anywhere I couldn't take my dog. PERIOD. I totally agree. Where did you take your cats to Jaclyn? My bf isn't crazy about my cat but he knew she was non-negotiable when he asked me to come move in with him! 1
miss_jaclynrae Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 (edited) I love how everyone jumps to conclusions. I said he didn't like them as one of many reasons to why I gave them up. And btw, they are with his brother now lol. It was still heart wrenching for me though... They are my babies. The whole point being that he would and couldn't understand the love I have for them. We both work and go to school full time and thy were being left alone constantly and even when we were home the time was use for homework. Our apartment is tiny, and I just didn't think it was fair to them. Sure us moving in together was a factor, but ultimately they deserve more human interaction. Don't take one post and use it as a way to judge my ability to care and love a petlife happens, if I had known when I adopted them that I was going to be moving in someone AND starting school (at the time I was just working) then I obviously would have waited. I gave them a loving home though and I still see them and they are now getting all the attention they need. Edited February 26, 2013 by miss_jaclynrae
Drseussgrrl Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 I love how everyone jumps to conclusions. I said he didn't like them as one of many reasons to why I gave them up. And btw, they are with his brother now lol. It was still heart wrenching for me though... They are my babies. The whole point being that he would and couldn't understand the love I have for them. We both work and go to school full time and thy were being left alone constantly and even when we were home the time was use for homework. Our apartment is tiny, and I just didn't think it was fair to them. Sure us moving in together was a factor, but ultimately they deserve more human interaction. Don't take one post and use it as a way to judge my ability to care and love a pet. Honey I'm sorry. But cats don't need a whole lot of maintenance, like a dog does. I really think this had a LOT more to do with your boyfriend not liking them. The other reasons sound like excuses he used with you to get his way = NO CATS. I'm starting to sense a bit of a pattern with him. Just like he didn't want to help you babysit your friend's kid. Plus he's older than you. Do you usually find yourself backing down from things that are very important to you? If he knew JUST how heartbroken you were giving up your kitties, why wouldn't he help you find a way to keep them? A loving man would. 2
miss_jaclynrae Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 Honey I'm sorry. But cats don't need a whole lot of maintenance, like a dog does. I really think this had a LOT more to do with your boyfriend not liking them. The other reasons sound like excuses he used with you to get his way = NO CATS. I'm starting to sense a bit of a pattern with him. Just like he didn't want to help you babysit your friend's kid. Plus he's older than you. Do you usually find yourself backing down from things that are very important to you? If he knew JUST how heartbroken you were giving up your kitties, why wouldn't he help you find a way to keep them? A loving man would. He is the one that helped me find someone to take them in. He asked his brother if he would be willing to watch them. The other reason are all from me. They don't need a lot of work, it's true, I went the last 4 months going home twice a day to feed and clean their litter box, it was sad for me. They are super friendly needy kittens. I adopted them when they were just babies and they thrive on affection. If they weren't so needy then it may have been an option. They are indoor cats though, and I wouldn't want for them to become outdoor cats. It really was for the best. As for he backing down part, it depends on what it is. Some things no, but on ones where it would ultimately affect both of us, yes. I think of us as a team, and that means backing down sometimes, he has backed down on things for me, it's all about giving and taking with us.
Feelin Frisky Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 Haha Jesus. I live in a VERY dog-friendly community and I've never felt the need to carry pepper spray. Maybe everyone watches the "Dog Whisperer" where you live and takes Cesar Milan's instructions to heart. In NYC, the Burroughs and Long Island burbs where I'm from there are a lot of ignorant dog owners including a lot of people who keep dogs as weapons--rottweilers, pinschers, pit bulls, St. Bernards. The people are territorial and assert an entitlement they are not entitled to--i.e. to let their dogs menace passersby, mail carriers and so forth. I have no problem with anyone who trains their dog properly and have watched the Dog Whisperer train neglected dogs people thought were hopelessly violent and neurotic. It's just not that hard. I'm also old enough to remember NY (Brooklyn) when absolutely no laws existed to require people to clean up after their dogs and tracking dog shi+ into the house, into the car, and into stores and church was a daily occurrence. There was little understanding of training, pack dynamics, much less social sensitivity to other people's rights and needs. Generations of New Yorkers still don't although the dog shi+ problem seems to be much less now. The people problems still exist. My ex next door neighbor on Long Island a few years back thought she had moved to "the country" when she just move a few miles outside Queens. Her dogs were always hiding in the bushes at all ours of night springing at anyone who took out the garbage or walked along. It's a freaking menace. Other people not at all. They mind their manners and teach their dogs to yield to their authority.
Tony427 Posted March 3, 2013 Posted March 3, 2013 How immature that people are shaming someone for not being too fond of animals. Grow up people. Everyone has their likes and dislikes. This is no different from those who shame people for not wanting children. Some folks enjoy their freedom and not having to constantly care for someone 24/7. If you like kids or pets...fine...but dont be immature and shame others for not being fond of them.. As for the answer to the question from OP it would absolutely be a dealbreaker for me. I can't stand dogs. Barking has got to be one of the most obnoxious sounds on the planet and animal hair all over the house is disgusting. I understand that a lot of people love animals and that is fine but I don't want to have to deal with them. I hate going over to someones house who has dogs, I'm stressed and irritated the entire time and can't imagine that would be a good situation in a relationship.
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