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why do I attract jerks?

zanzi

By zanzi
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Imported Established Member

Imported

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I'm like you in a way. I rather take my time before I start having sex but for different reasons (as a 26-year old virgin). I want to make sure the woman I sleep with is not just some standard female I can find on the streets therefore it will take time before I give it up.

 

 

Please. You really think women in general are this bad? We'll assume you started looking at age 18 for a girl that is worthy of your awesomeness. So, in 8 years you never found a nice girl because such things are so rare?

Sanitarium Established Member

Sanitarium

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Because you're attracted to guys who are already capable of having multiple girls around him? That's the reason why women complain so much about men. They are not into men who are really into them because they aren't up to his standards. Like I've mentioned before on here, 85% of the women are only attracted to 15% of the men who they consider as dating worthy. And when men of that group don't give these women the attention they desire, unfortunately they are all jerks.

 

 

This ^^^^^

Drseussgrrl Established Member

Drseussgrrl

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Because you're attracted to guys who are already capable of having multiple girls around him? That's the reason why women complain so much about men. They are not into men who are really into them because they aren't up to his standards. Like I've mentioned before on here, 85% of the women are only attracted to 15% of the men who they consider as dating worthy. And when men of that group don't give these women the attention they desire, unfortunately they are all jerks.

 

Oh Jesus. I'm into a dude right now who's totally into me. Where do you get all of these BS stats about 15% and all that crap.

 

In my real life experience people just date, fall in love, have fun together, etc. I honestly have NO IDEA what you are talking about.

ltjg45 Established Member

ltjg45

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^^^^^ this

 

 

Guys have been taught to get laid as soon as possible throughout the history of our civilization really

 

Really? That's news to me.

 

I guess I'm not some rabid sex monster then.

 

That's fine too. :D

ltjg45 Established Member

ltjg45

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Please. You really think women in general are this bad? We'll assume you started looking at age 18 for a girl that is worthy of your awesomeness. So, in 8 years you never found a nice girl because such things are so rare?

 

I found a lot of females I'm attracted to.

 

Just that their true colors shows off not long afterwards and that attraction disappears.

 

I'm not attracted to hoes and bitches. Sorry.

 

Finding an actual good woman? I have better shots winning the lottery.

Drseussgrrl Established Member

Drseussgrrl

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I found a lot of females I'm attracted to.

 

Just that their true colors shows off not long afterwards and that attraction disappears.

 

I'm not attracted to hoes and bitches. Sorry.

 

Finding an actual good woman? I have better shots winning the lottery.

 

So why are you hanging out with, I'm sorry what was it? "Hoes and bitches?"

ltjg45 Established Member

ltjg45

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So why are you hanging out with, I'm sorry what was it? "Hoes and bitches?"

 

I'm not hanging out with "hoes and bitches".

 

My friends list is very small, actually.

 

I'm sorry that the general way most women acts doesn't fly with me.

Imported Established Member

Imported

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I found a lot of females I'm attracted to.

 

Just that their true colors shows off not long afterwards and that attraction disappears.

 

I'm not attracted to hoes and bitches. Sorry.

 

Finding an actual good woman? I have better shots winning the lottery.

 

You sound like a bad movie. These women you found that were attractive, gonna guess you never even tried anything with them and "they showed their true colors" because they liked a different guy while you hide in your corner, thus making them "hoes and bitches". Sorry, but I just don't believe you're sitting back with a lot of options.

 

You know what all your forefathers have in common? They're not virgins. I doubt any of them were virgins till 21 let alone 26.

ltjg45 Established Member

ltjg45

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This is the calling card of so many permanently single virgin types

 

 

"I'm single because there are no good women out there. There are 3 billion women out there and they are all bad while I'm good"

 

 

http://500motivators.com/plog-content/thumbs/motivate/me/large/52-sense-this-picture-makes-none.jpg

 

I never said that.

 

I just hasn't found any good women yet. I know they are out there and there is at least one on this very site that I'm attracted to.

 

But until I find them, I will keep looking.

Sanitarium Established Member

Sanitarium

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I never said that.

 

I just hasn't found any good women yet. I know they are out there and there is at least one on this very site that I'm attracted to.

 

But until I find them, I will keep looking.

 

 

Most people in general are nice, it's about how you treat them

 

 

I haven't had much more success than you have and even I'm not delusional enough to claim that "I haven't met the right one yet"

ltjg45 Established Member

ltjg45

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You sound like a bad movie. These women you found that were attractive, gonna guess you never even tried anything with them and "they showed their true colors" because they liked a different guy while you hide in your corner, thus making them "hoes and bitches". Sorry, but I just don't believe you're sitting back with a lot of options.

 

You know what all your forefathers have in common? They're not virgins. I doubt any of them were virgins till 21 let alone 26.

 

Wrong again. The opportunity to make my move wasn't available yet. I'm not going to approach a female while she is talking to someone else concerning an important matter.

 

I'm not rude just for the sake of speaking to a female.

 

But before that chance even came out, I find her cussing, degrading others, or treating the children she has like they are mere servants.

 

No. I'm not going to be attracted to such women. I'll look elsewhere.

ltjg45 Established Member

ltjg45

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Most people in general are nice, it's about how you treat them

 

 

I haven't had much more success than you have and even I'm not delusional enough to claim that "I haven't met the right one yet"

 

Perhaps it's just my general dating pool then. The women I'm attracted to happens to be females that has a far better standing career-wise than I am.

 

Women who is around my level employment-wise that is worthy of dating? I only saw a handful of them so far.

Imported Established Member

Imported

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Perhaps it's just my general dating pool then. The women I'm attracted to happens to be females that has a far better standing career-wise than I am.

 

Women who is around my level employment-wise that is worthy of dating? I only saw a handful of them so far.

 

Cool, I guess the family tree ends with you.

ltjg45 Established Member

ltjg45

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Cool, I guess the family tree ends with you.

 

I'm 26. I'm confident I will find the person I want in due time.

 

And frankly, I leave the choice of having kids to my SO.

 

I don't mind playing the role of "father" but I can do without them at the same time.

 

Finally, I rather have my family tree end than to be with a woman that I can't respect due to how she acts.

soccerrprp Established Member

soccerrprp

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2 questions:

 

1. Are the guys you date considered really attractive?

2. How old are you? They?

 

This is a generalization, but consistent to what I've witnessed and other ladies tend to experience...

 

Young, attractive people tend to be in it for the game, non-committal. In your case, the guys who are used to getting girls will more likely be the ones who will be like aforementioned.

carhill Established Member

carhill

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Why can't I find a guy who likes me as much as I like him?

 

Presuming you're choosing amongst the guys you like who approach you, perhaps making different choices/establishing different guidelines for choosing would be helpful. If what you're doing isn't working for you or providing you with the healthy relationships you desire, then try something else. That could be different choice criteria, it could be different social realms, it could be a different dating pool/location.

 

Good luck.

Yamaha Established Member

Yamaha

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Wrong again. The opportunity to make my move wasn't available yet. I'm not going to approach a female while she is talking to someone else concerning an important matter.

 

I'm not rude just for the sake of speaking to a female.

 

But before that chance even came out, I find her cussing, degrading others, or treating the children she has like they are mere servants.

 

No. I'm not going to be attracted to such women. I'll look elsewhere.

 

 

1 question ( and I'm not trying to be funny ).

 

Do you watch porn?

ltjg45 Established Member

ltjg45

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1 question ( and I'm not trying to be funny ).

 

Do you watch porn?

 

My honest answer?

 

I do from time to time.

 

I don't pay for it though and watching anal almost constantly is starting to rub me the wrong way since I don't imagine myself doing that to a female unless she asks for it directly.

 

I rather have the real thing than to get addicted to such damaging behavior.

 

I don't expect you to believe this but I do stand by it.

Yamaha Established Member

Yamaha

Posted
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My honest answer?

 

I do from time to time.

 

I don't pay for it though and watching anal almost constantly is starting to rub me the wrong way since I don't imagine myself doing that to a female unless she asks for it directly.

 

I rather have the real thing than to get addicted to such damaging behavior.

 

I don't expect you to believe this but I do stand by it.

 

I believe you. I've met guys like you.

 

Do you feel you would be de-valuing a women if you showed her your romantic interest?

 

Do you feel being the decent guy means not expressing your carnal desires, respecting a woman for her mind and establishing a friendship with her first?

ltjg45 Established Member

ltjg45

Posted
Posted
I believe you. I've met guys like you.

 

Do you feel you would be de-valuing a women if you showed her your romantic interest?

 

Do you feel being the decent guy means not expressing your carnal desires, respecting a woman for her mind and establishing a friendship with her first?

 

No, I don't esp. if I love her for who she is. That is what "love" means to me. Money, status, religion, and material things doesn't come into play when someone ask me if I "love" someone.

 

That is how I felt to the one woman I have shown interest to. I wasn't concerned about her flaws but the fact that she is a good woman that used to be hard-working as well and loves her 2 children.

 

As to your 2nd question, I do feel that not expressing my carnal desires, at the start, is more important because it gives the signal to her that I'm not attracted her just to "pump and dump", which is the biggest issue within short-term relationships.

 

I want her to think that I'm attracted to her because I have an interest in her as a person and I want to make that clear ASAP. I don't want her to assume otherwise.

Soxfaninfl Established Member

Soxfaninfl

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Uh I don't know how someone "uses" another for sex, but I disagree. Alot of the time the woman KNOWS the guy only wants sex and is ok with it. But what generally happens is she either gets tired of just being the FWB or feels bad and says she was "used".

 

I see it all the time. Guys dupe women telling them they want a relationship or commitment, but all they really only want is sex. Once they get, it they dump the women. I know plenty of guys like this.

Yamaha Established Member

Yamaha

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No, I don't esp. if I love her for who she is. That is what "love" means to me. Money, status, religion, and material things doesn't come into play when someone ask me if I "love" someone.

 

That is how I felt to the one woman I have shown interest to. I wasn't concerned about her flaws but the fact that she is a good woman that used to be hard-working as well and loves her 2 children.

 

As to your 2nd question, I do feel that not expressing my carnal desires, at the start, is more important because it gives the signal to her that I'm not attracted her just to "pump and dump", which is the biggest issue within short-term relationships.

 

I want her to think that I'm attracted to her because I have an interest in her as a person and I want to make that clear ASAP. I don't want her to assume otherwise.

 

There is nothing wrong in establishing a friendship with a woman as long as you let her know your interest is not just friendship. A woman also likes to be appreciated as a woman and that includes her sexual side.

 

Do you think fear of sex is holding you back in a loving relationship?

Treasa Established Member

Treasa

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or people who just don't want to commit. Do I have a sign on my forehead that says, "use me"? I meet a guy, I start to like him, and its usually the same story, I'm more keen then he is. I like him more, I put in the most effort. Effectively, I seem to become a doormat. I just ended it with a guy who strung me all the usual lines about "letting us be what we are" and " he doesn't want anything to change." (which in my view means " I want to have sex with you without commitment for as long as I can, until I get bored.")

NO. Ive heard this crap before. So I broke it off.

 

Why can't I find a guy who likes me as much as I like him?

 

This is so easy. Stop putting guys on pedestals. I was just like you, and being like that and feeling like that sucked ass.

 

Now when I date someone, I remember who is number one (me), and I put my needs and wants first. I have fun, I don't have sex until I'm ready and want to, and if the moron starts treating me poorly or whatever, I go on with my life. I don't put up with people treating me like crap anymore. And, ironically, it's made me much more pleasant and fun to be around. I have personal power, so I can be more cheerful and positive in my life.

 

I know it sounds easier than it actually is, but that's truly what it amounts to. Trust me, it took a lot of work and an epiphany to get to this point.

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Drseussgrrl Established Member

Drseussgrrl

Posted
Posted
This is so easy. Stop putting guys on pedestals. I was just like you, and being like that and feeling like that sucked ass.

 

Now when I date someone, I remember who is number one (me), and I put my needs and wants first. I have fun, I don't have sex until I'm ready and want to, and if the moron starts treating me poorly or whatever, I go on with my life. I don't put up with people treating me like crap anymore. And, ironically, it's made me much more pleasant and fun to be around. I have personal power, so I can be more cheerful and positive in my life.

 

I know it sounds easier than it actually is, but that's truly what it amounts to. Trust me, it took a lot of work and an epiphany to get to this point.

 

Yep pretty much this.

 

It took me getting over the age of 30 to pretty much just stop giving a crap what people thought of me and started living for myself and being happy.

 

I just decided I was going to start doing the things I loved regardless of what anyone else thought. Taking care of myself. Surrounding myself with only those who love and care about me (this includes men). Eating well and going to the gym. My political activism. Not apologizing for my opinions.

 

It's actually really empowering. And the right dude will love all the things that make me tick. I don't have to try and be something I'm not. Jerks and players are attracted to women they sense will roll over and take whatever they dish out. Their inconsistency. Their wishy-washiness. Their hesitancy to call you a girlfriend. It's really all BS.

 

The bottom line - I'm happy and my self-esteem is intact. And that really is the only way to date.

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