Sass Posted September 3, 2004 Posted September 3, 2004 Here's the story: We met about 6 weeks ago and get along famously. Our first date ended up being a 3-dayer...I stayed at his place for nearly the whole weekend because we were just so comfortable in each other's company and we were getting on amazingly well...I think we were both surprised at how well we clicked. We didn't jump into anything physical, either. It was a great mental connection. We speak on the phone a lot too, at least 30 minutes each time. We've seen each other once since that first long date and again, had a really good time, and also fooled around a bit. He initiates contact 99% of the time. He also compliments me a lot, which is nice. I must stress that we are not an item - we've only known each other for 6 weeks or so. However, I'm having a bit of trouble of reading him. I know he's still not fully over his ex. She cheated on him over a year ago and naturally, he's quite fragile (a friend of his used that exact word to describe him - fragile). He's been very open about this, which I appreciate. He also talks a lot about women in general, which I find weird...I'm not used to that at all. He also tole me that he's a tart - what the...? Is he seeing numerous women at once, or what?? What does that mean? On the other hand, he compliments me all the time. He's told me numerous times that he really likes me and also mentioned numerous time that he finds it so refreshing that I'm not a high-maintenance princess (he's dated a lot of that type before and can't stand them). He comments on my intelligence and talks ahead of time e.g. "i'll take you there oneday"...."next time we'll [blah blah blah]". When I stayed at his place last, he gave me a long, tight, very appreciative hug when I told him not to apologise to me for feeling unwell. When I thanked him for letting me stay, he replied, "any time...". In conversation, he also told me that he's not here to mess around with me and that he only treats people how he wants to be treated (that's a great start - I'm the same). He's very open and honest and an excellent communicator. I don't know. I think I'm confused about him, about where this could be leading. I'm scared I might end up in too deep. I really like this guy a lot - he has so many qualities that I find appealing and we have a great mental connection, which is hard to find. I think it's too early to establish where this might lead because as I said, we're still getting to know each other and you just can't predict what will happen down the track. I do, on the other hand, have my reservations about him. We haven't spoken for nearly 2 weeks, only sent the odd text message here and there. He was very sick last week too and I didn't want to bother him. He could still be sick for all I know. On Sunday, I told him to give me a call during the week and I still haven't heard anything. What if I don't hear from over the weekend? How does this all look from your point of view? What should I do if I don't hear from him over the weekend? Thanks :-)
uriel Posted September 3, 2004 Posted September 3, 2004 If you don't hear from him over the weekend, just wait. Sounds like things are going well so far. Only getting to know him further will lay your doubts to rest. As your relationship grows, you'll get to know his friends and family, too. They may give you additional insight into him. You'll also probably learn more about his relationship and dating history / practices. Right now, I'm glad to hear that it's his ex who cheated and not him. When he started dating again, he probably wanted to avoid falling for anyone because of his fragility. However, he might be ready for that again. Only his meeting and continuing to see the right one (could be you) will show him that. By saying he's a tart, I take that either to mean he flirts alot or sleeps around. I wouldn't assume you're exclusive with him right now -- although it does sound like this could go there. He wouldn't have spent so much nonsexual time with you if that weren't likely. Like I said, above, I think it's likely he avoided getting too close / strongly attached for some time after his last break up (dating many different women). But, I wouldn't assume it's now out of the question. Good luck! --- uriel
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