Loving someone so cold

[HopelesslyStuck]

One of the main reasons he broke off our almost two year relationship was mainly because I didn't approve his drug problem. Which caused us to fight, over every little thing. Now that we broke up, that's all he has been doing. His friends post things and pictures all over the place and tag him in it.

 

I just don't understand how someone can throw something that meant so much away, for marijuana.

 

When we were together, it came before me. Along with his friends. That's why he's happy were not together because he actually can hangout with them and smoke without me harping on him about it.

 

That's hard to accept. I know that were better off apart, for that reason alone.

What person throws away someone who loves them unconditionally, enough to care about their well being. Someone who was so infatuated with them, did everything and anything for them, who played a huge role in their life, ... to go smoke tons with his friends. All I can really say is that he's an idiot.

 

I don't get why I want him still, so bad. I mean, I do because he was my best friend whom I told everything to, spent all my time with, etcetc. He just took me for granted. Constantly.

 

He cheated on me four times that I KNOW of, lied to me all the time, even about stuff that wasn't even necessary to lie about. Ditched me for his friends. Insulted me. Broke up and got back together with me whenever he felt he wanted to. Blamed things on me. Threw my insecurities in my face. So much stuff!

 

How can someone treat someone who cares for them so much, so so so terribly. Why am I so addicted to him? How can I detach myself from wanting to be with him.

 

 

I've been doing NC but it just seems like this is getting worse. I'm trying to be strong and focus on myself but its so hard.

[HopelesslyStuck]

I also keep thinking of all the bad things he's done and its really helping me realize I don't need him. I know I don't NEED him, but there is part of me that still wants him.

 

Although, every time I think I want him. I think about some of the last things he said to be right before we broke up.

 

He said "I'd have more sex if I was single."

& "I like fit girls, maybe you should be skinny"

& "I don't see myself marrying you, and the thing is, I never have."

 

Just, ugh. He's such a disgusting person to me.

 

 

What am I supposed to do to get over this guy? It feels like I've tried everything, yet nothing is working

[amaysngrace]

He treated you like total crap. It's bad enough that you wasted two years ...why waste one more minute of your time on him?

 

I don't get it.

[HopelesslyStuck]

I don't get it either. I don't get why after everything I'm still not strong enough to walk away. I keep looking at his social networking profiles, even though I have already blocked him. & its making it worse but I cant help but look. In his bio on one of them it says "Bitches ; Weed ; Music ; Cats:

 

like after two years, TWO YEARS of emotions, love, every other day together, texting and calling each other almost all day every day, spending every holiday with each others families, doing everything together, being best friends, after SO much,

 

it only took him like 2 weeks to seem completely fine with it.

 

We've been broken up for ... 6 weeks. It just... it doesn't seem real.

After everything he put me through, he should be suffering. Not me, still.

I just. I can't let go and its literally killing me.

[Coping Vortex]

I don't get it either. I don't get why after everything I'm still not strong enough to walk away. I keep looking at his social networking profiles, even though I have already blocked him. & its making it worse but I cant help but look. In his bio on one of them it says "Bitches ; Weed ; Music ; Cats:

 

Looks like he needs to move "weed" to the number one position. Then maybe "music" "cars" and then "bitches"

[amaysngrace]

You sound like you were a good girlfriend to him, except for ragging about him getting high. Did he smoke when you met him? If yeah you can kind of see why he got tired of you not being okay anymore with something you use to be totally fine with before.

 

If you act like a mom they'll go find a girlfriend.

 

I don't know why if his smoking bothered you so badly that you didn't break up with him when you realized he wasn't going to stop.

 

Anyway you were together for a couple years...it's going to take more than a little over a month to be over him. For him it's different. He can move on quicker because he never loved you the way that you loved him. The way he treated you is proof of that.

 

You should stop creeping on him and paying attention to what he's doing. He's really not worth your energy or thoughts.

[HopelesslyStuck]

I was a great girl friend and I can say that with confidence. I gave him everything he wanted, even if it bothered me. Except I guess for the weed.

 

& No. When we first met, he was a COMPLETELY different person. He only smoked once up until the point when we started dating, but it was many, many months before we did. He was antisocial, weird, only listened to metal, wore black clothes all the time, yet he was the sweetest person I ever met..

 

 

Then, he became friends with the wrong people. They were extreme pot heads. Addicted to it, and had a constant high. That's him now.

 

He now, cares about image, and fitting in. When before, he never was like that. He thought people who were like that were idiots.

He smokes constantly, he listens to rap, he wears brand name clothes, and hes now the biggest jerk ever.

 

I know those little things about the clothes and music aren't that important, but it changed him and his out look on things. After he became friends with those guys, that's when he started changing, cheating, lying, being so mean.

 

 

& I didn't break up with him when I realized he wasn't going to stop, because I tried my hardest to let it not bother me and to just ignore it because I wanted our relationship to work, more than anything. But it was just taking over the entire relationship. He became addicted to it. To buying, to rather spending time with his friends to smoke, than to spend time with me. It became all he talked and even thought about. And that's why I nagged him because he was choosing it, over me.

 

 

That's the thing. I don't want to look, I don't want to waste any more time on him, but its just so tempting to look. However, when I do, it hurts me more. I know I can't keep doing that to myself. Thing is, I don't know how to become strong enough not to. I deserve so much better.

Edited February 26, 2013 by HopelesslyStuck

[Standard-Fare]

HopelesslyStuck, I hope you can keep focused on some of this ridiculous bullsh*t in reminding yourself why this scene is no good. I mean, I'm sure there were things you liked about this guy, if you were together two years, but right now you don't want to think about that. You want to keep reminding yourself of a few of these TOTAL DEALBREAKERS, and why he isn't a good guy for you or anyone else at the moment.

 

But I do relate. Guys are tough. A lot of them are misbehaving and immature and stupid, but as their girlfriend/lover you get to see their secret sweetnesses... the side they don't show to the world.

 

I also had to end things with an ex largely to due his weed habit. At a certain point, you just have to be like, "You know, this is not for me."

[HopelesslyStuck]

Thank you.

 

I know this is not for me. It's just so hard to walk away from because I did care about him more than any one else.

[HopelesslyStuck]

I just am trying to focus on other things. And it's working. I'm telling myself, I've been through a break up before, and I can get through it again.. Even if this one is way different.

 

 

Final thoughts about him for now, is that you get what you give, and I hope he realizes what he lost.. one day. & I'm promising myself that if there is a day where he tries to come back and tell me he's sorry, I have to walk away.

 

I have to save myself from the hurt

[ifonlyenough]

It hurts now and you are grieving, but with time, things will get better. Just keep yourself busy and do not call or text him. You don't need him remember?! In time, you will realize what a blessing he gave you by not being apart of your life anymore!! Keep your head up!