imconfused101 Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 I was a closet gay that had my first with relationship with a guy that 13 yo older than me. Despite, the big different in our age and my in-closet situation, our relationship actually went very well. We dated from 2008-2010. We enjoyed each other and were supporting each other. By the end of 2010, I had GIGS problem and i left him (i know, i was an a**h**) I dated with someone younger than me, 2 weeks after we broke up, While I was dating him, I was still seeing my ex. I was kinda steeping on 2 boats and taking it for granted. and we dated for few months and I left him. It was such a disaster. I realized that I just hurt my lover. I told my ex that we broke up, he was excited to get back to me. I wanted to get back with him at the same time I needed my space. My ex kept asking me about getting back together, that annoyed and I said "I didnt want to have relationship at this time". since spring 2011 We still hung out together doing FWB and I was no longer in closet. we tried to get back together on the same page. Short story, we had so much fights and arguments, i had trust issues with him. Until 3/12 we eventually he broke up with me 5 days before my bday, we had nasty broke up. Since then my life was destroyed, I was very depressed, I was on my last semester of grad school finishing up my thesis, I failed my exam for the first time in my life, job performance dropped. I had to retake a class in the summer. I lost my friends because I became very quite and didn't go out that much. Since we broke up, he ignored me for 4 months and I was very clingy, needy, and stalky. At that time no one really told me what to do. I just followed my guts until I started reading books and researching online that suggested me to do NC thing. we started talking again in August but he didn't even treated me nicely, I decided it's my time to do NC for a month. I felt better. In october he approached me at swim practice (we are in the same swim practice) since then we talked again and we hung out on the weekend. However, when I tried to flirt, he would be so angry to me. Sometimes he would ignored me especially while he hang out with his friends or maybe a date (i don't know) that drives me crazy. I always be the one that ask to go out and acted like doormat. This situation keeps me up and down. He treated me hot and cold. He only called me when he needed my help. (he was looking for a job as he was about to graduate from phd, I have wide network and very good with interviewing process) he started his new job last week, and I didn't hear from him anymore. at the same, for the fact that he is hot and cold, do you think he still has feeling for me? I wanted to ask for closure/give another chance but I guess i'm afraid of the "no" answer. Should I give a try? or just keeping NC? did he really just using me to get him a job? sorry for long story I NEED your advices...thank you
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