Now What? --> needed :(

[bosoxgirl92]

So I had been talking to this guy online for about a week. We hit it off great, spent hours on the phone, texting, both looking for the same things, SO much in common.

 

I'm 20, he's 24. He's a Marine and lives about 5 hours away

 

We decided we would both be busy for the next few weeks we would both be busy, he has a huge shooting thing going on and I will be busy with work and travel.. We decided this past weekend would be the best opportunity to meet

 

Since I live close, I got a flight for really cheap. He met me at the airport and I was going to get a hotel room but we really REALLY hit it off well

 

Here's a brief synopsis of the weekend:

 

Friday: Picked me up at the airport. Great conversation all the way to his home. Got settled in. Watched movies. Play faught (He has a black belt so he was going to teach me tricks) and somehow in that mixture, it got a little hot and heavy, and looking back I now regret, but didn't at the time, we had sex. He then cooked me dinner and we cuddled all night.

 

Saturday- We cuddled all day, he taught me how to watch and bet on basketball, we took his dog for a walk, stuff like that, cooked dinner, talked the whole time, had sex again, and yeah. We got in bed at 9pm and laid talking until nearly 2am. I've never had such deep conversations before, and I have been in a serious relationship. We talked about the future, he said he thought it could work. Although that is what I wanted to hear, I told him I was hesitant.

 

Sunday- We went down to the beach because he knew that's what I wanted to do. He went out of his way to please me. I seperated myself on this day out of fear, fear of feelign too much too soon and getting hurt. He definitely sensed it. I was a lot quiet, I knew this was my last day and I would be leaving for the airport. I wasn't due at the airport until like 2pm, and at 10am we had already wrapped it up at the beach he asked me what i wanted to do next. I told him to simply take me to the airport so he didnt' have to keep back tracking. He wouldn't do it. He said it was too early and he wanted to spend time with me. (made me feel good) We have the same favorite movie, Top Gun, and one of the most familiar quotes is "Take me to bed or lose me forever" well when we got back to his house I jokingly said this to him while we were kissing, and he told me "Let's just hang out." I wass joking and he didn't take it that way, however his answer struck me as odd and kind of hurt so I kind of looked at him as in wtf... and He says back to me "I gotta give you something to look forward to" I asked him again on the way to the airport did he really think it would work and he said "Nothing has changed since yesterday, I do think it would work" I told him my best friend had the same situation happen to her and when she got home the guy just stopped talking, I told him I didn't want that to happen to me and if that was the case that I would like to just know now. he said "If I didn't feel anything between us I wouldn't keep it going. I would simply tell you I don't think we have anything. But I do." He asked me to text him when I landed. I was stubborn and waited hours later to see if he would text, and he didn't..

 

I know this is a lot to read, please bare with me.

 

I broke down and texted him. Here is the exact messages since then. Keep in mind we use to text ALOT and he use to be very sweet. This is what since yeserday.

 

Me: I'm in Vegas

Him: Oooooo how was your flight?

Me: Good

Him: Sleep the whole time?

Me: Nope. But I just met up with Samantha and we're grabbing food. Text you later <3

Him: Ok have a good time

Me: Thanks

Did you get a haircut?

Him: Not yet. I'm being lazy. I might just wait till tomorrow.

Me: You've been lazy all weekend

Him: Lol yup, I'm an old man. I need my rest to make it through the week.

Me: Well go to sleep and text me tomorrow

Him: No. Text me when ur done

Me: (Sent a picture of my tacos)

Yours are better

Him: Lol well thank you, I try

Me: You do ok

Him: Ok

Me: You passing out?

Him: Yes

Me: Well talk to you later.. I know you won't be texting this week so if you want you can text me on Friday?

Him: I'll text you when I can

Me: Yep

Night

Him: Goodnight

Me: I had a really good weekend with you. Just so you know.

Him: So did I

Me: Thanks for everything! Xo

 

And I haven't gotten anything since them. I see where he's been commenting on posts on his fb today and was "Online Today" on pof. H etold me he hates when a girl is jealous. I'm avoiding texting him..

 

How do I recover? Do you think he thinks we moved to fast? I can see where he would. It just went with the moment.

 

What do you do when you've had sex too soon in a relationship? Can't take it back now?

 

Do you think I should giver up? Or do you think he likes me? I just should chill a little

 

 

help pplease

[Weezy1973]

I just should chill a little

 

You answered your own question. It's hard. You already started to fall for him so you're having obsessive thoughts. That happens. It's hard to know what he's thinking/feeling and it's impossible to control. So your own advice is good - just chill. For now.

[xpaperxcutx]

Dating and relationships are synonymous with math problems, the answers are always hard to solve. From a percentage point of view, I, unfortunately, have to say whatever the two of you had or are planning to have is very, very slim. For one, you live 5 hours away. Unless you've knew him for a very long time before, the distance itself is a barrier. Long distance relationships are not only strenuous, but they often result in one party breaking things off for someone who lives closer to them.

 

Second, your guy is a Marine. Military personnel tend to have hard time to maintain a stable relationship than most. Add to the fact he is only 24, I don't think he sounds like someone who's looking for a " serious" relationship. It's even more evident when you say he's still prowling an online dating site.

 

The fact you took a plane down to see him for a weekend and sleeping with him so soon meant you give up your heart too fast. Sometimes men don't mean the things they say even though at the time, you may have believed that what he proposed felt real and promising. And of course, need I mention the sex? I am all for sex between two consenting adults, but if you are one to associate emotional ties with sex, it was a poor mistake on your part. Live and learn.

 

Don't hold too much hope for him, it will only leave you with alot heartache.

[Eggplant]

You're young, beginner's mistake, lol. Because you connected too soon too fast, he will definitely pull away. Count on it. DO NOT take it personally. Men freak out. It's got something to do with the ebb and flow of testosterone, and I can cite that phenomenon for you if you want.

 

How do you fix this? This is an art. Be emotionally prepared for him to pull back for as much as 3-5 weeks, (if not for good). Meanwhile, you do your own thing and be happy. Upload happy pictures to FB. Do not initiate any communication with him whatsoever. When he does finally talk to you, do not make any reference to the amount of time passed. Do not make him feel bad for pulling away -- he got claustrophobic. Do not even mention it. No big deal. Under no circumstances ask him whether he is going to pull away -- that will put pressure on him not to pull away, which causes him to pull away more.

 

As a final note, men come emotionally in waves. It's not their fault; it's their nature. Give him space, and if he loves you, he'll be back. Another thing that works for me at least -- never have sex in anticipation of future love. Only have sex as an expression of the love and satisfaction you've already felt. Just a suggestion of course.