Author Rainmkr555 Posted February 28, 2013 Author Posted February 28, 2013 @ChiTown First off dude......PLEASE do not mention anything about her having sex with this man or "screwing" him daily ok?? I don't want to hear that crap. Yes of course I know that they have had sex together but she also told me when we met on Tuesday that this man doesn't even try to have sex with her now. And they are only ONE MONTH into their marriage! That's a pretty tell tale sign that this marriage isn't working wouldn't you say? Second, this girl DOES have my address. She has it because when she was living in Iceland we would mail gifts to each other. She knows exactly where I live. Look man, I know I'm blinded by love here and not being rational during all this. But she's everything I ever wanted in a woman and I just don't want to let her go.
fixing Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 @ChiTown First off dude......PLEASE do not mention anything about her having sex with this man or "screwing" him daily ok?? I don't want to hear that crap. Yes of course I know that they have had sex together but she also told me when we met on Tuesday that this man doesn't even try to have sex with her now. And they are only ONE MONTH into their marriage! That's a pretty tell tale sign that this marriage isn't working wouldn't you say? Second, this girl DOES have my address. She has it because when she was living in Iceland we would mail gifts to each other. She knows exactly where I live. Look man, I know I'm blinded by love here and not being rational during all this. But she's everything I ever wanted in a woman and I just don't want to let her go. I understand, you are totally infatuated with her. But, you are running the risk of becoming her stalker now. You have to be a big man and walk away from this mess. Seriously. You are torturing yourself here. What do your family and friends tell you about all of this? Because its very unhealthy what your putting yourself through.
Chi townD Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 (edited) @ChiTown First off dude......PLEASE do not mention anything about her having sex with this man or "screwing" him daily ok?? I don't want to hear that crap. Yes of course I know that they have had sex together but she also told me when we met on Tuesday that this man doesn't even try to have sex with her now. And they are only ONE MONTH into their marriage! That's a pretty tell tale sign that this marriage isn't working wouldn't you say? Sorry dude, but it's a little tough love here.. A little smack of reality. May not want to be what you want to hear, but lets get real here. Have it ever crossed your mind that she's probably lying to you? I mean, if she's that smoking hot, wouldn't you be trying to get with that everyday? I wouldn't believe a word she says. To be honest, you REALLY don't know anything about this chick. And on top of everything, she flip flops on you every other day. You need to let this one go. Bottomline! SHE IS A MARRIED WOMAN NOW!!! She is not yours. She made a choice, and you weren't it. She wanted to be with this other sap and now she is. She is married and is now off the market. You have no business trying to get with this girl because she is married and has a husband. She committed herself to this guy. Exchanged vows with this guy. It's over. Look, she's been here 3 months and married a month. (That's a quick ass marriage in my book, but....) in all that time she's never called you, skyped you, messaged you, or even came over to your house (because, now I know that she has your address) not once! You found out by accident. YOU were the one to make contact. And what happened when you did make contact? She got mad as hell, you blew her cover. She went off on you, told you to leave her the hell alone. (does that sound like love to you?) That's got to tell you something...set off some bells somewhere. Again, you are setting yourself up for a world of hurt. Time to move on dude. Edited February 28, 2013 by Chi townD 1
Chi townD Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 Okay I'm starting to feel bad now..... okay, look....I know that you had/have very strong feelings for this girl. Believe me, I get it. I know that her choosing this other guy hurts and hurts a lot. Dude, I was cheated on and was pretty much called a loser by my Ex and she was going with someone that she thought was going to be BETTER than what I could do for her (she was wrong, of course.....) So, in a way, I DO understand where you're coming from. But, I had to wake up. I realized that I didn't want to be with a girl that didn't make me her first choice in everything in life. I was never going to be someones second choice. I didn't want to be a consolation prize. Was I busted up over having my Ex cheat on me and stomp my pride and Ego into the dirt? Yep! I was a mess! But, I got through it. I never talked to her again after that....there was no reason to. She made a choice and I wasn't it. But, life goes on. And one day, I met the woman that I would marry. She had a heart 10 times greater than my Ex. She was kind and caring and I did fall in love with her. I never put her on a pedstal. She is my equal and my partner in life. Even after the honeymoon phase of our relationship ended and the lust for each other wore off. I was left looking my best friend in the eyes. I was going to marry my Ex but, apparently, she had other plans. I was sure that she was the one. And I couldn't have been more wrong.
Author Rainmkr555 Posted March 1, 2013 Author Posted March 1, 2013 (edited) All of you are correct. I know that. She has NO feelings for me now and she does NOT love me anymore. She ONLY wants friendship from me. But this is what I do not understand. She was here in Chicago for 3 months before I found out. And during that time she NEVER tried to contact me. She did think about me a couple of times though she said. Once is when she went to her gym which is a Chicago Athletic Club gym and she said that she saw some poster with all the other CAC's in the area and there was one in Evanston that she saw (which is where I live) and she said she thought of me. The second time was when she went to Second City one night and she told me that she was wondering if maybe I was there too. So why does she want my friendship now? I talked to her on the phone yesterday afternoon and I told her that I would be her friend here. But I told her that she would have to be the one to message me first if she needs to talk or wants to hang out. I even told her that I would take a day off work to hang out with her one day if she wanted. She said that sounds good. Why does she want to see me but only wants friendship? She KNOWS how badly I want to be with her. How much I love her. She said that in May, after her green card is effective, she is going to go back to Iceland for 2 months, without this man, and just think about things. She said there is a chance that she just might not come back but if she does decide to come back there will be a lot of tax papers and such she must file in Iceland to indicate she is moving she said. I asked her if while she is in Iceland could I come see her. She said yes, that she would like that. But reiterated to me that I would be coming ONLY as a friend What is going on in this girls head? She is married to this man who is 15 years older than her who lied about his age, he does not seem to want to have sex with her she says, he's flirting with some co-worker through texts, they fight all the time, he does not appreciate her she says, he did not seem to be bothered at all that his new bride was out for 3 hours on tuesday night (with me) and she turned her phone off so that he could not call and then when she gets home he is not mad or curious at all about where she was, but yet she keeps telling me she has feelings for him and will try to work it out. Why can't she just say that she wants to be with me??? Why can't she just call me and say she is fed up and she is leaving him, she doesn't care, and that she wants to come to me?? I want that so badly!! But it's never going to happen, is it? How can I be friends with her?? There is NO WAY! I'm going to go hang out with her for a day and have a great time just being with her and then at the end she will just go home to her "husband" and leave me all alone?? I can't handle that. She has made no contact at all with me today and I told her that I want her to be the one to reach out to me first when she wants. So I will try and go full NC with her from now on. Although I keep saying to myself that if she does not at least contact me somehow over the next week, then I will call her next Thursday and tell her I can't do this and that I have to fully let her go. I made an appointment with a counselor for some pro help on this next Tuesday. I will lay out the whole crazy story for him and see what advice he has. This is going to be a very long and sad weekend for me I'm sure. I just got home from work and I've already started drinking Edited March 1, 2013 by Rainmkr555
lostindreams Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 my uncle met a russian bride online too, and they married, bout 15 years ago. that being said i know exactly how this stuff works, and i think you do too. She just wants to live here. she hears the words, america, money, husband, stability. Thats it. She was clearly with the 'other man' the whole time she was with you. And now she wants to be friends? BS. Tell her no way. Take the upperhand. You need to get your power back.
Author Rainmkr555 Posted March 2, 2013 Author Posted March 2, 2013 Please, someone reply to my last post at the end of page 2 here. I really need some answers, advice, insight, and opinion on that.
Author Rainmkr555 Posted March 8, 2013 Author Posted March 8, 2013 (edited) Ok guys....I did it. I told her that I can longer talk to her, see her, or be her friend if she is going to be married to this man. This is what happened: Me and her were supposed to go out together this past Monday night. We had a time and a place set where I would meet her after I got off work. 2 hours before I left work she sends me a text message telling me that she really does not feel well and that she has a very bad migraine and wants to just rest. She asked me if we could meet on Tuesday instead. I said to her that's no problem at all and that I will just see her on Tuesday. She then tells me that she is going to the gym now anyway because she really wants to get a work out in even though she was not feeling well enough to see me that day. Later monday night, I noticed that the weather report said we were supposed to get a huge snow storm on Tuesday that would be at its worst during rush hour. I sent this girl an email telling her that because of this storm, it might take me over 2 hours to get downtown at that time and I asked if she would just like to meet on Wednesday instead. She replied telling me sure no problem. We then proceeded to email each other back and forth Monday night, just small talk, and she ended her last message to me before she went to bed that night with "have sweet dreams :)". All day Tuesday I did not get one message at all from her. The entire day, nothing. On Tuesday night I sent her an email at around 7:00 PM telling her how I am very much looking forward to seeing her on Wedesnday night and asking her where and how she wants to meet. I also told her how I had a good restaurant in mind for us to have dinner at since having dinner was part of the plan. About 5 hours later she finally replies, while I am sleeping, and she tells me briefly about her day and that she would like me to just meet her downtown on Wednesday night but she is not sure where yet and that she would message me on Wednesday morning to let me know where to meet her. She again ended this message with "sweet dreams". When I woke up for work on Wednesday morning I read her message and I replied to it by just saying that that sounds good and let me know. She ended up not messaging me at all that morning. At around 1:15 PM I sent her a text just asking her where she wanted to meet later. 2 hours later, about 45 minutes before she knows I will be leaving work to go meet her, she finally sends me a message and says that she wants to post pone our meeting til Thursday or maybe even the weekend because her "husband" just let her know right now that he is having his sister and brother over for a "family dinner" (her words). She then says that she did not know about this at all until now and that she did not realize how difficult it would be to go out when you are married. The thing I find interesting is this: If what she said was true, and she ONLY found out about this "family dinner" at 3 PM and this is why she cannot see me that day, then why had she not messaged me that morning telling me where to meet her? If she was REALLY planning on meeting me that night then she would have emailed me in the morning, gave me a location, and then when she found out this news about the dinner, she would message me and say she cannot go. But she did not send me ANY message at all that day until 3 PM. She did not even reply to my text message at 1 PM when she supoosedly did not know about this dinner yet. Needless to say i was pretty upset. Not only about the fact that she said "family dinner" but also because she did not even say sorry or anything. I made the decision right there to end this heart break of mine. When I got out of work at 4:00 I called her. She did not answer. But I left her a voice mail just telling her how I am not very happy about this but what can I do? And I also told her that I really need to talk to her on the phone about something and that it was important. But i did not tell her what it was. The entire night I got nothing from her. No "sorry i could not make it" or "I was looking forward to seeing you as well tonight" or "I really hope we can try and see each other again tomorrow". She sent nothing at all. So this morning I sent her a text asking her what time is good to call her this morning. She did not reply. So at around noon today I sent her another text telling her that I am going to call her now and leave her a voice mail. So I called, she did not answer, and I basically just told her that I am saying good bye, that I cannot just be friends with her, that I would love to see her and go to movies and go to dinner and spend the whole day together with her but that I do not want these things with her being only her friend, that I want them when she is with me as my wife, I told her how I did not want to be spending a nice day with her and at the end of that day she just leaves me all alone again and goes back to her "husband", and I told her how she could divorce this man and be with me if she really wanted and that her green card status would not be affected and that she could come live with me and that I want to marry her. I also went on to describe how this man she is with is not better than me and how she should not be with some man 15 years years older than her who lied about his age and how this man is a liar and does not appreciate her. I also mentioned to her how I live in a much nicer area of Chicago than this man does and that the fact that this man is 42 years old and STILL renting an apartment is pretty pathetic. I closed my voice mail by telling her that I love her very much and that I will miss her a great deal and that if she would call me now and tell me she is leaving this man that I would be so happy and would welcome her to be with me. I then asked her not to forget me and that to always remember the times when we were so in love. And that was it. She sent me a text message like 30 minutes later claiming that she was sleeping and just woke up and that ok so this is good bye then. She also said that she "realized" that she could not be my friend either because she is married. And that is all she said. I replied telling her again that i love her and I want her to be with me but since she does not want this I have to move on. She never replied again. She did not say sorry at all or that she will not forget me or that she will miss me or anything like that. She was just cold cold cold. So guys, please tell me that i made the right decision here. I did right? I mean she was only talking to me and wanted to be "friends" so that she had someone else in this city to fall back on since she knows no one here. Is this correct? I mean she did not reach out to me once during her first 3 months here until I found out she was here by accident. And there is no way that she would have ended up just leaving this guy for me right? I really hope I made the right choice here by just letting her go. Edited March 8, 2013 by Rainmkr555
CarrieT Posted March 8, 2013 Posted March 8, 2013 You made the right decision. You can't be friends with a married woman with whom you have feelings. And she is incapable of just being friends - especially when you really want more than that. She's bad news anyway. You are better off cutting contact entirely. 1
Author Rainmkr555 Posted March 24, 2013 Author Posted March 24, 2013 Thanks guys for your support. I have to admit that it has been extremely hard for me to not contact her. Even after I said I would not contact her again I ended up texting her one more time asking her If there really was no chance at all that she would be with me ever again. I wanted to make sure I was really making the right decision in choosing not to be her friend. So I sent her a long text message just asking her was there absolutely no chance at all she would've left this man either now or in the future to be with me. I explained to her that the only reason why I was cutting ties with her because I want much more than friendship. That I want to marry her. And that I know she does not want this I need to hear from her one more time that she does not want anything more than with me than friendship so I can be 100% certain and making the right choice and never speaking to her ever again. She of course sent me a text back telling me once again she only wants friendship and that I have proved to be a very unreliable man who can lie easily. That's what she told me. This of course maybe a little upset because this man she married has lied to her as well. About his age. So I sent her a text message saying this man that she married has also proved that he can lie easily as well. I then again told her that she would be with me she could still get a green card. But she sent me a text message back saying that it's not about the green card at all and she said that immigration would be doing her a "favor" if they would send her back home. I asked her why would they be doing her favor to send her home. And she stated that she misses her family very much. I then replied "so why are you here? Only for this lying old man? That's it?" And her final text message to me "stop abusing me please just lose my phone number" But of course it does not end there. I did not want our final communication to be through a text message. So last week I called her and she did not answer I left a long voice mail telling her how I really want to talk to her this one last time and I don't want our last communication to be through a text message and that could please call her later that day I would really appreciate it i just would like to hear her voice one last time. But of course when I called later that day she did not answer. And I left my final voicemail telling her how I understand her message of ignoring and that she will never have to hear my annoying voice again or Get an annoying email from me again or get annoying text me again. And I basically just told her that she is just cold very cold towards me and that I asked her never to forget me and she could not even acknowledge that and say yes I will never forget you. I wish I had never met this girl. I wish that I could do a procedure like in that movie eternal sunshine of the spotless mind and have this woman completely erased from my brain. But unfortunately that's not reality. The rest of my life I'm going to miss this woman and wish that I was with her. I have started seeing a counselor. He is my age which is good because I need another guys perspective on this who is my same age. I have seen him twice already and will be seeing him again this Tuesday. Of course during my first 2 sessions all I have done is talk about this girl. I laid out the whole story for him from the beginning. He has not offered too much advice on it yet. He's really just been listening. But he did say that he feels this woman is only trying to "use" me when she offered for us to be friends. That I would just be her "emergency contact" here in Chicago in case things go bad with this guy since she knows no one here. He said that he understands why I am in so much pain over this but that he feels that my love for her is more of an "infatuation" than real true love. I think he may be correct about that one. But this tremendous pain I have over this situation certainly feels like true love to me. I asked him if I should never contact her again and he said he does not want to tell me what to do. I will see him again today and hopefully he will have more answers for me. I know I am making a total fool out of myself with her now. My constant bothering her, my whining, my crying, my anger and then switching over to being compassionate for her and wanting to be friends with her. I have tried everything to get her back. I even sent her a text this past Sunday asking her If i could meet her this week. She never replied. I guess I figure since there is no way possible that she is ever going to want to be with me again, then who cares how foolish I am acting in front of her. I was even thinking of just sending her one final email. But a nasty one where I would chronicle all of the lies that she has told me, since she LOVES to say how much of a "liar" I am. When in reality, she has lied to me about many things as well. I was also thinking of writing this to her, "Ask yourself this question. Do you really think that this 42 year old man you are with would be able to find a hot/beautiful woman here in Chicago who is 15 years younger than he is and who would want to marry him?? Absolutely not! That is why he he had to go on that Russian brides site. Because he was hoping to find a young beautiful Russian girl who would be stupid enough to marry him. And guess who he found?? YOU!!!!" I would also say many more horrible things about her. But while this may give me some satisfaction at first. I feel that after a few weeks I would start to feel bad about what I wrote and for the rest of my life I would be thinking that she has this very negative opinion of me now. I don't know. Maybe if I just leave things the way they are with her knowing how heart broken I am over this and how I want to be with her and how much I still love her.....maybe that will leave a lasting impression on her that she had another man here in Chicago who really did love her very much once. And maybe when things start to go sour with this man she's with (as it appears is already happening based on what she told me) she might start to regret her decision and wish she had chose me. You never know what the future can hold right?
destroyed4sho Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 (edited) its very suspicious how she happen to find 2 guys in chicago that both fell in love with her. sounds like she was targeting chicago for a reason... possibly she has friends or relatives there. smells like a con. she wants to be friends for now to use you as a back up in case her relationship blows up before she gets her citizenship. this girl is conning you so bad you dont even WANT to see it...lol She KNOWS why this guy married her...that is exactly why she targetted him...duh!!! what is wrong with you? open up your eyes!!!! Edited March 24, 2013 by destroyed4sho
polyglot Posted March 24, 2013 Posted March 24, 2013 Dude, you should remember that this girl wanted an American man. She's an impostor. I have been through a bit of these, but fortunately, the pain is not much. I will repost my story here. I posted in a wrong place. Look for trust in a relationship. Beauty is a bull **** term. All you get out of a beautiful girl is have a beautiful child. But will it make you feel happy? No way. Go for a principled person, not a crap one like this who just wants to exploit you. I know how the pain of having to imagine your gf sleep with some one else. I have been through with it a couple of times. I got over with it. There's nothing you can do, except talking to close friends, who understands you. That way, you can quickly get rid of the pain. Wipe out all the memories, they will cause pain and invoke everything that's gone. Look for peace and happiness in your life. This is a lesson to you, remember. You are not screwed - you are left bruised, you can gather yourself up and look for something else. 1
Author Rainmkr555 Posted March 25, 2013 Author Posted March 25, 2013 (edited) I really do not think that she was targeting someone from Chicago specifically to marry because back in 2010 it was ME who emailed her first on that Russian dating website. Also, as I mentioned in an earlier reply, she told me back in Feb. 2012 (when me and her were starting to be on the outs and had not talked for 3 weeks) that she was going to marry some man in Luxembourg. I pleaded with her back then not to do it and she suppsedly broke it off with him. But what I do find very strange is this: When I met her in person last month for 3 hours and we talked, I asked her why did she have to find some other man who ALSO lives in Chicago. She said that she met this man on some Russian brides site and that at first they were only talking as "friends" and that she had "NO IDEA" that he lived in Chicago during the first few weeks they talked. But that has to be BS because if she started talking to him on a Russain brides site then obviously his profile would say that he is living in Chicago and she would have seen that right away. So clearly she is lying about that. So I don't know. I really am starting think that the only reason why I am so broken up over this is because she is so gorgeous. I am a very shallow person. I hate that about myself but it's true. And this girl is amazingly beautiful. I am not exaggerating here. She looks like one of those extremely hot Russian women in those James Bond movies. I mean everywhere I go now I try my best to see if I can spot a woman who is more beautiful than she is. So that maybe I can feel some hope that I will find someone as beautiful as her again. But I never come across anyone in real life who is as gorgeous as she is. So this is why I start to think that maybe this is all I see in her, her exterior appearence. Because inside she has proved to be a very selfish and manipulative person. But my love does feel real for her and this pain I am going through over this whole situation is DEFINITELY real. Edited March 25, 2013 by Rainmkr555
destroyed4sho Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 why are u talking to women who are on Russian Bride sights? Does that give you a clue to what they want or are looking for?? Cmon, just that act should answer all your qurstions and woes. self -inflicted.
polyglot Posted March 26, 2013 Posted March 26, 2013 I really do not think that she was targeting someone from Chicago specifically to marry because back in 2010 it was ME who emailed her first on that Russian dating website. Also, as I mentioned in an earlier reply, she told me back in Feb. 2012 (when me and her were starting to be on the outs and had not talked for 3 weeks) that she was going to marry some man in Luxembourg. I pleaded with her back then not to do it and she suppsedly broke it off with him. But what I do find very strange is this: When I met her in person last month for 3 hours and we talked, I asked her why did she have to find some other man who ALSO lives in Chicago. She said that she met this man on some Russian brides site and that at first they were only talking as "friends" and that she had "NO IDEA" that he lived in Chicago during the first few weeks they talked. But that has to be BS because if she started talking to him on a Russain brides site then obviously his profile would say that he is living in Chicago and she would have seen that right away. So clearly she is lying about that. So I don't know. I really am starting think that the only reason why I am so broken up over this is because she is so gorgeous. I am a very shallow person. I hate that about myself but it's true. And this girl is amazingly beautiful. I am not exaggerating here. She looks like one of those extremely hot Russian women in those James Bond movies. I mean everywhere I go now I try my best to see if I can spot a woman who is more beautiful than she is. So that maybe I can feel some hope that I will find someone as beautiful as her again. But I never come across anyone in real life who is as gorgeous as she is. So this is why I start to think that maybe this is all I see in her, her exterior appearence. Because inside she has proved to be a very selfish and manipulative person. But my love does feel real for her and this pain I am going through over this whole situation is DEFINITELY real. So, here's catch. Sometime back in my life, I dated a girl, apparently, she's not beautiful, but I was pretty sincere with her and she too was. A tipping point came and she started doing weird things. Now that's a red flag and I let her go with a "F...k Off" and I did yield to some of the pain. She looked pretty to me because, I loved her, but after I left her, she looked like the ugliest whore to me - I wouldn't mind even if this is offensive. The most recent one was a gorgeous girl, well, this time it was different. I didn't fall for looks again and I loved her and she does look ugly to me now, no matter how pretty she really is. The pain of missing a beautiful girl is a little different. Like I said, you get nothing, if she's beautiful. Marry a humble girl who has a character for herself and who knows the worth of trust - you'll have peace in your life. If you just want beauty, trust me buddy, after having ****ed for a few times, you'll get mentally ****ed by her. Do you really want this? Instead if you have a girl, who knows the value of a relationship, every simple thing you enjoy in life, even the most trivial thing you do, feels beautiful, because she acknowledges you and feels grateful, so will you and should you. You'll feel blessed when you have sex with such a honest person. I would be very happy if you find such a girl, it's very rare to find such people. Go for such a girl, she'll be a motivation and jewel in your life. Fleeting pleasures are not worth pursuing, she can be "pretty", but you'll "feel" her ugly Don't waste time imagining the Russian sleeping with someone. She will with another too and another etc. Our mind is on an automatic roller coaster when it comes to thoughts like this. You can begin this way, by deleting all the mails, even the email, her pictures, anything you shared etc. This will relieve you, because you can't go back to see any of these. This will be quick. Don't dare to look at her pic or anything it simply spoils the very purpose of it. It fades off with time and you'll be a new person.
Author Rainmkr555 Posted April 16, 2013 Author Posted April 16, 2013 It has been almost 3 weeks now since I last contacted this girl. I am finally at a point now where I have accepted the situation and I 100% know that this girl will never be with me again. However, now I need some closure. The last contact I had with this girl almost 3 weeks ago was through text messaging. I am going to copy and paste the text exchange I had with her. Since this will be the last time I will ever talk with her, I want to get opinions on what I said to her and what her responses were to me. The portions in the texts where there's a blank spot is where I had written this girl's name: My first text: "______, can I please talk to you on the phone today?" Her reply: "I can't do it now. I am working" Me: "When can I call you today then?" Her: "You can't call me because I don't want you to. We have nothing to talk about. Just get over me" Me: "But I can't. I miss you and I love you so much ______. You don't understand. And you don't seem to care either. Why did you have to do this? I can't live through this situation anymore. I just want to talk to you. Please? When you were holding my hand at whole foods you said that I will always be in your heart because you were deeply in love with me for 2 years. If you truly meant that, then how can you just sit there there knowing how much pain I am in over this and not care?" Her: "I do care but I don't love you anymore!!!!! And nothing can change that. You just have to deal with that!! Just let the situation go and stop texting me" Me: "I can't ______. You have no idea what this situation is doing to me. I am in the bathroom at my office now crying my eyes out. I can't do this anymore. Please ______. I'll do anything you want. I just love you so much. I'm going to be miserable for the rest of my life without you. I just want to hear you say that you feel for my pain and that you know that I truly love you and that you will never forget me. I need to hear this so much from you. Please ______" Her: "I do not believe you love me. You just feel lonely because you have no one next to you. But you will get over as soon as you will start going for dates. That's all I can say" Me: "______ you are absolutely wrong. I am VERY much in love with you. I get dates no problem. Thats not the issue. Don't you understand? Every date I go on all I do is think of you. I would not be this severely depressed over this if I were not totally in love with you. I love you so much _____. Every day I think about you and miss you and wish that you were with me. I would make you so happy ______. I don't want anyone else. I even fully deleted my profile on that Russian dating site. Do you know why i went back on there after you did not give me that 2nd chance? Because I was trying to find you again on there. But I could not. Because there is only one of you and I miss my ______ so much" She never replied to that last text and I have not tried to contact her since. Why do you think she told me that she was working when she had told me before that she cannot start working until the end of April once she gets her green card? Did she just say that so I would know that she is getting everything she wants without me? Why do you think she did not reply to my last text? This is particularly important to me because this is the last message she will ever read from me. This girl clearly could not care whether I was alive or dead judging from what she wrote me during this last text exchange. I mean I texted her only asking if I could call her and she replies with "just get over me"?? What if I never replied to that? Do you think that she would have felt bad later about being so cold like that to me? No I don't think so. Why do you think she keeps telling me that she does not believe I love her? Does she honestly think in her mind that I would be this depressed over this, cry for her over the phone AND in person with REAL tears, and plead with her to leave this man and be with me if I were NOT totally in love with her?? My theory as to why she keeps saying that she does not believe I love her is this: She feels guilty about this situation. She knows that I love her and want to be with her and I think part of her feels for my pain knowing that she lives so close to me now but she is with this other man. By trying to convince herself that I don't truly love her, it makes this situation easier for her because she can just say in her mind, "oh, he doesn't really love me. He just feels lonely and that is why he is acting like this. So it's really no big deal". What do you guys think of that theory? I guess what I just want to know is, what do you think her lasting impression of me will be? Do you think one day she may regret not giving me that 2nd chance? I still just do not understand at all what she could see in this guy. As I have mentioned many times here, this girl is amazingly gorgeous. She could have practically gotten any man she wanted. But instead she settles for this middle aged 42 year old child?? I mean this guy is 42 years old and does not even own his own home. He instead rents an apartment with his sister. The car he drives is a bright red Scion XB. Which is basically the type of car a girl who is still in high school or college would drive. He goes on a Russian brides site and lies about his age so that he can find the youngest girl possible on there. And THIS type of freaking guy is able to marry this stunning and beautiful 27 year old Russian girl?? I just don't get it. Anyway, like I said, it's been almost 3 weeks since I've contacted her and I am not going to contact her again for the rest of my life. It still hurts a great deal but I do feel it getting better every day. There are constant triggers everywhere that remind me of her and get me down but I'm trying my best to not let them bother me so much. I just pray that I NEVER run into her in this city. Because I'm pretty sure that will put me right back to square one.
CarrieT Posted April 16, 2013 Posted April 16, 2013 I guess what I just want to know is, what do you think her lasting impression of me will be? Do you think one day she may regret not giving me that 2nd chance? You shouldn't care what her impression of you is - and you shouldn't want a second chance based on how she has treated you. I just don't get it. You don't need to - she has made her decision. Leave her alone. I just pray that I NEVER run into her in this city. Because I'm pretty sure that will put me right back to square one. Then hope she doesn't contact you. In fact, the best thing you could do would be to change your number and email address and don't give her any access to you whatsoever. You Dodged a HUGE Bullet!
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