grkBoy Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 1) How much do you allow women to dictate what you do? If a girl wants you to watch chick flicks with her when you want to watch the football game/action film, would you tell her "no"? Or go over for chick flicks? 2) If a woman you're going out with asks you what you want to do, do you say "whatever you like" or do you have a plan set? 3) If your opinion on something TRIVIAL is sure to irk a woman and make her not want to see you anymore, would you stand by that opinion? Or avoid saying it/deny it to keep her around? 4) Can you live with yourself alone? Meaning if women avoid you like the plague, can you live a long and happy life alone? 5) Imagine a man who has his own opinion, will freely disagree with women even if it angers them, pushes and leads on the dates (so they both end up doing what he wants), and seemingly treats the women he's dating RESPECTFULLY but also as a subjugate...is he a: a) Jerk b) Man with a backbone 6) If a woman says he's a jerk (just because she can't control him), would you believe it? 7) If this guy on the second or third date found an opening, kissed the woman deeply, and somehow gets her into bed for sex, is he playing her/using her? Or simply being a man? Ladies, this is not a misogynist post. Trust me.
Shardish Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 This seems like a fun thread. To address your points: 1) No. 2) I have a plan set. 3) Yes. 4) Yes. 5) He's a man with a backbone. 6) No, I make my own opinions on people through my own interactions with them. 7) He's simply being a man.
Green Light Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 8) Are you getting to be too old to care about all this game playing sh*t?
Shardish Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 8) Are you getting to be too old to care about all this game playing sh*t? Not when I've got games like Bioshock infinite on pre-order. 1
TaraMaiden Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 1) How much do you allow women to dictate what you do? If a girl wants you to watch chick flicks with her when you want to watch the football game/action film, would you tell her "no"? Or go over for chick flicks? 2) If a woman you're going out with asks you what you want to do, do you say "whatever you like" or do you have a plan set? 3) If your opinion on something TRIVIAL is sure to irk a woman and make her not want to see you anymore, would you stand by that opinion? Or avoid saying it/deny it to keep her around? 4) Can you live with yourself alone? Meaning if women avoid you like the plague, can you live a long and happy life alone? 5) Imagine a man who has his own opinion, will freely disagree with women even if it angers them, pushes and leads on the dates (so they both end up doing what he wants), and seemingly treats the women he's dating RESPECTFULLY but also as a subjugate...is he a: a) Jerk b) Man with a backbone 6) If a woman says he's a jerk (just because she can't control him), would you believe it? 7) If this guy on the second or third date found an opening, kissed the woman deeply, and somehow gets her into bed for sex, is he playing her/using her? Or simply being a man? Ladies, this is not a misogynist post. Trust me. Some may say it is. And they don't.....
ThaWholigan Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 1) How much do you allow women to dictate what you do? If a girl wants you to watch chick flicks with her when you want to watch the football game/action film, would you tell her "no"? Or go over for chick flicks? I'd watch my game/action film - THEN I'd watch the chick flick . 2) If a woman you're going out with asks you what you want to do, do you say "whatever you like" or do you have a plan set? I always have a plan. 3) If your opinion on something TRIVIAL is sure to irk a woman and make her not want to see you anymore, would you stand by that opinion? Or avoid saying it/deny it to keep her around? I always have my POV, it's hard for me to hide them. It's a broad POV, but U would have no incentive keeping a woman around who disapproves of my POV, she can f*ck off if that's the case . 4) Can you live with yourself alone? Meaning if women avoid you like the plague, can you live a long and happy life alone? Pretty much. I love my own company . 5) Imagine a man who has his own opinion, will freely disagree with women even if it angers them, pushes and leads on the dates (so they both end up doing what he wants), and seemingly treats the women he's dating RESPECTFULLY but also as a subjugate...is he a: a) Jerk b) Man with a backbone B (with a hint of A). 6) If a woman says he's a jerk (just because she can't control him), would you believe it? No. Sometimes guys who are good with women are automatically labelled as jerks even when they aren't. 7) If this guy on the second or third date found an opening, kissed the woman deeply, and somehow gets her into bed for sex, is he playing her/using her? Or simply being a man? He's being a man, a sexual man who can turn a woman on. Whether his intentions are good or not is another matter.
ThaWholigan Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 8) Are you getting to be too old to care about all this game playing sh*t? Nope. The sooner people accept that games are played more than they realize, the better you will be able to defend yourself against those games when you might just have to play.
Krieger Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 1) Seeing how I do not watch TV and have not in little over a year I do not miss it. If she wanted to watch a chick flick I be cool with that. 2) have a plan set but it is nice if a girl would plan some thing some time. 3) stand by that opinion 4) Yes i will just get 13 cats and eat cans of dog food . 5)barefoot pregnant and in the kitchen is what i say :laugh: joking
Author grkBoy Posted February 26, 2013 Author Posted February 26, 2013 (edited) 8) Are you getting to be too old to care about all this game playing sh*t? It's not about playing a game. In fact, this isn't playing a game. My point to all this are simple questions for every "nice guy" who continually gets friendzoned to think about. Listened to a podcast today from a colleague who touched on this...made me think about my past life and even many people here. I noticed how my dating life changed for me when I did the MGTOW thing...but mainly I find that it was because I stopped working to please women and instead worked to please myself. The difference between the jerk and the man with a backbone is the jerk has no respect for the woman. The man with a backbone respects the woman, but he also hold strong to his own opinions and is perfectly willing to let little girls run away angry (claiming he's a jerk) because he won't "fall in line". The "nice guy" will do anything to please the woman, thinking it's how to get her. She friendzones him because she thinks he's sweet, but not turning her on because he has no backbone. Playing games is when you act like someone you're not in the hopes to get a girl. Now think about all the "nice things" some of you try to do for women, and really question if you do it because you want to be a good guy, or because you think she'll like you as a potential boyfriend for doing them. Now what if you found she's suddenly into you when you aren't at her beck and call? When you decide to watch the action movie at home over running over to watch a chick flick? When she wants to cuddle with you (as a "cuddle-b!tch") and you just decide to try to kiss her? When you two end up making out from that kiss and you suddenly run your hand up under her shirt, caressing her bare skin...and not worrying if you're "taking advantage of her"...and then she's taking her clothes off, pulling you on to her? What if you found out you didn't have to carry her groceries, run out to pick her up when she's drunk with her friends, and tell her how wonderful she is when a bonna-fide jerk breaks her heart? Yeah, this sounds like being a bad guy, but it's not. It's being a man. It's deciding you will respect her not to rape her, or beat her, or belittle her...but you'll respect yourself not to be her puppy dog she can utilize for certain "guy needs". It means if you choose the friendzone you won't spend your life trying to get her to think of you as "more", but instead start pursuing other women in front of her and telling her how she was stupid to trust that bonna-fide jerk when you warned her weeks ago. This is the underlying point...and how all you guys claim your lives and masculinity. No one said you had to mistreat or hate women. That's being the jerk. You just have to not totally give up your personal life in the hopes of pleasing someone. Edited February 26, 2013 by grkBoy
ltjg45 Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 (edited) 1. Considering that football is on the lower-end of my hobby list and I got nothing else worth doing, yes, I would watch chick flicks with her. I can watch football/action moves at any time. I value spending time with my woman more and to understand her interests. 2. I normally have a plan but I'm open to change if she wants to. I'm not that stubborn to say "My way or the highway." 3. If it's trivial and doesn't mean much in the long run, then I won't say it. 4. I prefer not to but if I have to, I'll make due. Happy living alone? I doubt it. I rather have a relationship instead to be "happy". 5. A jerk. It takes two to tango. If you can't respect a woman and her opinions, then you shouldn't be dating. Being in charge in one thing. Being a dictator is another. 6. No. I need more details. 7. That depends on what happens next. Does he show commitment or did he bolt looking for the next female? If he showed commitment, he's being a man worthy of respect. If he bolted, he's just a player. Edited February 26, 2013 by ltjg45
Author grkBoy Posted February 26, 2013 Author Posted February 26, 2013 1. Considering that football is on the lower-end of my hobby list and I got nothing else worth doing, yes, I would watch chick flicks with her. I can watch football/action moves at any time. I value spending time with my woman more and to understand her interests. 2. I normally have a plan but I'm open to change if she wants to. I'm not that stubborn to say "My way or the highway." 3. If it's trivial and doesn't mean much in the long run, then I won't say it. 4. I prefer not to but if I have to, I'll make due. Happy living alone? I doubt it. I rather have a relationship instead to be "happy". 5. A jerk. It takes two to tango. If you can't respect a woman and her opinions, then you shouldn't be dating. Being in charge in one thing. Being a dictator is another. 6. Yes. 7. That depends on what happens next. Does he show commitment or did he bolt looking for the next female? If he showed commitment, he's being a man worthy of respect. If he bolted, he's just a player. Ok, not attacking or insulting you here...just wondering. How's your dating life? You landing girlfriends and dates? Or striking out and/or getting friendzoned?
ltjg45 Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 Ok, not attacking or insulting you here...just wondering. How's your dating life? You landing girlfriends and dates? Or striking out and/or getting friendzoned? I simply hasn't tried yet so I don't know what my possible success rate is yet. I'm in major need of a wardrobe re-do. I did get interest from one older female but a relationship didn't form due to lack of employment, which I do respect. She is one of the only 2 females I approached since leaving high school back in 2004. The second turned me down due to her already having a boyfriend. I'm currently in contact with a 3rd female that I'm attracted to. My employment comes first, of course.
TheGuard13 Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 This is a bit like filling out a test after the answers are given, but... 1) Dictate what I do? Or what WE do? It depends on whether I feel more like watching chick flicks than watching football. I loves me some Meet Joe Black. 2) If a woman I'm going out with, or a woman I want to go out with? If I ask a woman on a date, I have a plan. If we're dating, we discuss what to do or one of us proposes something. 3) If a woman is going to leave me over something trivial, "**** her". She's the wrong woman for me in the first place. 4) Can? Yes. Want to? Not entirely. There's always duded. It's...similar, I'm told. 5) Little bit of both. Depends on what the specifics are. 6) No. What kind of idiot believes something just because someone says it? 7. Depends on what the hell he wants. This is all really quite situational. I see nothing wrong with his behavior given the information provided.
kimberlydoll Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 Threads like this make me realize the vast majority of my experiences with men have been negative. Really, most of my exes are jerks. I have never come close to having a guy respect me or care about my opinion. I have never dated a guy who once we settled into a relationship, didnt expect me to watch sports all the time and wanted to do things I wanted to do. All of the guys I dated pretty much have been "my way or the highway" or really selfish and expect me to give way over 50% in the relationship. 1
miss_jaclynrae Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 Ugh. When are men going to learn it is about giving and taking. Sometimes I REALLY want to watch a chick-flick and he wants to watch some action movie. What do we do? We BOTH cave and say to watch the other, why? Because we put the other person before ourselves. Who ends up "winning" doesn't matter, because the next time we watch a movie we will end up watching the one we didn't from last time. Just because a man does a lot to please his woman [in regard to putting her wants before his own] doesn't mean she isn't doing the same. A man that does such things you addressed wouldn't be the man for me. There aren't just two options, it isn't so black and white. If a man makes a move? It is all relative, if he just wants sex he is using her, if he wants a relationship and wants to still get to know the woman after, he could still be using her. He could also just be doing what felt natural. 1
miss_jaclynrae Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 Threads like this make me realize the vast majority of my experiences with men have been negative. Really, most of my exes are jerks. I have never come close to having a guy respect me or care about my opinion. I have never dated a guy who once we settled into a relationship, didnt expect me to watch sports all the time and wanted to do things I wanted to do. All of the guys I dated pretty much have been "my way or the highway" or really selfish and expect me to give way over 50% in the relationship. My ex was like that. It makes me so happy to have my boyfriend. It is no longer a one sided relationship. There are some men out there who are willing to do things to make you happy just as much as you are. 1
Bengal Tiger Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 1) How much do you allow women to dictate what you do? If a girl wants you to watch chick flicks with her when you want to watch the football game/action film, would you tell her "no"? Or go over for chick flicks? 2) If a woman you're going out with asks you what you want to do, do you say "whatever you like" or do you have a plan set? 3) If your opinion on something TRIVIAL is sure to irk a woman and make her not want to see you anymore, would you stand by that opinion? Or avoid saying it/deny it to keep her around? 4) Can you live with yourself alone? Meaning if women avoid you like the plague, can you live a long and happy life alone? 5) Imagine a man who has his own opinion, will freely disagree with women even if it angers them, pushes and leads on the dates (so they both end up doing what he wants), and seemingly treats the women he's dating RESPECTFULLY but also as a subjugate...is he a: a) Jerk b) Man with a backbone 6) If a woman says he's a jerk (just because she can't control him), would you believe it? 7) If this guy on the second or third date found an opening, kissed the woman deeply, and somehow gets her into bed for sex, is he playing her/using her? Or simply being a man? 1) After throwing away my career, education, and friends, for an abusive cheating girlfriend, I'm making an effort to say No to attractive women going forward. Last night I declined to go over to watch the Oscars with a girl I'm dating and it was fine. 2) Always have a plan or throw out suggestions first, and listen for any objection or counter offers. 3) I stand by my opinion, dig in my heels, and am very stubborn. This has always been the case with me on matters of principle. I will voice my disagreement even if in action I would change the subject to avoid escalating the conflict. If its trivial then shouldn't be a dealbreaker. 4) That's the story of my life. My dating history in a nutshell would be like a pine nut. I have crippling social anxiety. 5) Backbone made out of Pittsburgh steel 6) Leave him. No, there are at least 2 sides to everything. 7) Being a man. Men initiate. Women accept or decline. Men gradually escalate or stop according to her responses. It's a dance. Like testing the water with one toe first, then the other foot, then deeper and deeper until you're both all wet and loving it.
fortyninethousand322 Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 1) How much do you allow women to dictate what you do? If a girl wants you to watch chick flicks with her when you want to watch the football game/action film, would you tell her "no"? Or go over for chick flicks? Depends. If it's a film or a game I'm lukewarm about, I'd probably just go with the chick flick. If it's my team playing? No way. 2) If a woman you're going out with asks you what you want to do, do you say "whatever you like" or do you have a plan set? Plan. 3) If your opinion on something TRIVIAL is sure to irk a woman and make her not want to see you anymore, would you stand by that opinion? Or avoid saying it/deny it to keep her around? I would stand by it but not harp on it. I have friends with whom I disagree on things. We agree to disagree. 4) Can you live with yourself alone? Meaning if women avoid you like the plague, can you live a long and happy life alone? Alone? Probably not. If I knew for a fact that no woman would ever settle down with me, I'd probably live with my parents or my brother (unless he was married). I suppose living with a roommate is also an option. I don't think I'd ever want to live alone. That sounds boring. 5) Imagine a man who has his own opinion, will freely disagree with women even if it angers them, pushes and leads on the dates (so they both end up doing what he wants), and seemingly treats the women he's dating RESPECTFULLY but also as a subjugate...is he a: a) Jerk b) Man with a backbone c) Not enough information given to make a distinction. 6) If a woman says he's a jerk (just because she can't control him), would you believe it? Not for that reason alone, no. 7) If this guy on the second or third date found an opening, kissed the woman deeply, and somehow gets her into bed for sex, is he playing her/using her? Or simply being a man? Depends. He could be using her for sex. Or maybe he's not. Maybe she's using him? Maybe all three? "Being a man" is a meaningless phrase though. I'm not sure how to take that one.
RedRobin Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 It's not about playing a game. In fact, this isn't playing a game. My point to all this are simple questions for every "nice guy" who continually gets friendzoned to think about. Listened to a podcast today from a colleague who touched on this...made me think about my past life and even many people here. I noticed how my dating life changed for me when I did the MGTOW thing...but mainly I find that it was because I stopped working to please women and instead worked to please myself. The difference between the jerk and the man with a backbone is the jerk has no respect for the woman. The man with a backbone respects the woman, but he also hold strong to his own opinions and is perfectly willing to let little girls run away angry (claiming he's a jerk) because he won't "fall in line". The "nice guy" will do anything to please the woman, thinking it's how to get her. She friendzones him because she thinks he's sweet, but not turning her on because he has no backbone. Playing games is when you act like someone you're not in the hopes to get a girl. Now think about all the "nice things" some of you try to do for women, and really question if you do it because you want to be a good guy, or because you think she'll like you as a potential boyfriend for doing them. Now what if you found she's suddenly into you when you aren't at her beck and call? When you decide to watch the action movie at home over running over to watch a chick flick? When she wants to cuddle with you (as a "cuddle-b!tch") and you just decide to try to kiss her? When you two end up making out from that kiss and you suddenly run your hand up under her shirt, caressing her bare skin...and not worrying if you're "taking advantage of her"...and then she's taking her clothes off, pulling you on to her? What if you found out you didn't have to carry her groceries, run out to pick her up when she's drunk with her friends, and tell her how wonderful she is when a bonna-fide jerk breaks her heart? Yeah, this sounds like being a bad guy, but it's not. It's being a man. It's deciding you will respect her not to rape her, or beat her, or belittle her...but you'll respect yourself not to be her puppy dog she can utilize for certain "guy needs". It means if you choose the friendzone you won't spend your life trying to get her to think of you as "more", but instead start pursuing other women in front of her and telling her how she was stupid to trust that bonna-fide jerk when you warned her weeks ago. This is the underlying point...and how all you guys claim your lives and masculinity. No one said you had to mistreat or hate women. That's being the jerk. You just have to not totally give up your personal life in the hopes of pleasing someone. blah blah blah You call it being a 'man'. I call it being your authentic self so they can make an informed decision. Has nothing whatsoever to do with gender.
Soxfaninfl Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 1) How much do you allow women to dictate what you do? If a girl wants you to watch chick flicks with her when you want to watch the football game/action film, would you tell her "no"? Or go over for chick flicks? 2) If a woman you're going out with asks you what you want to do, do you say "whatever you like" or do you have a plan set? 3) If your opinion on something TRIVIAL is sure to irk a woman and make her not want to see you anymore, would you stand by that opinion? Or avoid saying it/deny it to keep her around? 4) Can you live with yourself alone? Meaning if women avoid you like the plague, can you live a long and happy life alone? 5) Imagine a man who has his own opinion, will freely disagree with women even if it angers them, pushes and leads on the dates (so they both end up doing what he wants), and seemingly treats the women he's dating RESPECTFULLY but also as a subjugate...is he a: a) Jerk b) Man with a backbone 6) If a woman says he's a jerk (just because she can't control him), would you believe it? 7) If this guy on the second or third date found an opening, kissed the woman deeply, and somehow gets her into bed for sex, is he playing her/using her? Or simply being a man? Ladies, this is not a misogynist post. Trust me. 1) I would watch the chick flick. I love romance. 2) Whatever she likes. I like to please. 3) avoid saying it/deny it to keep her around 4) I have everything in my life, but it feels empty because I don't have real love. I wouldn't lead a happy life without a women. It wouldn't feel whole. 5) jerk 6) Yes 7) Being a man
TheBigQuestion Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 (edited) 1) How much do you allow women to dictate what you do? If a girl wants you to watch chick flicks with her when you want to watch the football game/action film, would you tell her "no"? Or go over for chick flicks? 2) If a woman you're going out with asks you what you want to do, do you say "whatever you like" or do you have a plan set? 3) If your opinion on something TRIVIAL is sure to irk a woman and make her not want to see you anymore, would you stand by that opinion? Or avoid saying it/deny it to keep her around? 4) Can you live with yourself alone? Meaning if women avoid you like the plague, can you live a long and happy life alone? 5) Imagine a man who has his own opinion, will freely disagree with women even if it angers them, pushes and leads on the dates (so they both end up doing what he wants), and seemingly treats the women he's dating RESPECTFULLY but also as a subjugate...is he a: a) Jerk b) Man with a backbone 6) If a woman says he's a jerk (just because she can't control him), would you believe it? 7) If this guy on the second or third date found an opening, kissed the woman deeply, and somehow gets her into bed for sex, is he playing her/using her? Or simply being a man? Ladies, this is not a misogynist post. Trust me. 1) I've never to this day seriously dated any woman who was into "chick flicks," so this never came up. I've picked women who are both smart and have actual taste in film, art, and music. Watching chick flicks simply doesn't happen all that much in that demographic. To answer the question though, no man with a backbone will supplicate to his girlfriend's demands all the time. I firmly believe in sometimes saying no just as a matter of principle. 2) If I initiate an actual "date" with my girlfriend, then yes, I usually have at least a rough sketch of a plan. 3) I would stand by my opinion on a trivial matter but would try my darndest to not get nasty about it. Women generally don't like it when they think you've altered your opinions just to better get along with them. Mild friction and conflict is often a turn-on. 4) Although I'm in an LTR right now 2+ years running, I'm pretty confident that I'd be just fine "alone." For three years, I was for the most part single on purpose. I was fine with it. Provided that I have personal and professional goals, a small circle of good friends, and a few "fun" friends, I will have no issues. I would probably need to get laid a few times a year though. Gotta clean the pipes periodically. 5) This hypothetical guy is a man with a backbone. While many women will gladly play the role of the subjugate (more than most women will admit, in fact), some would find such a man to be overbearing. Objectively speaking, though, he wouldn't be a jerk. 6) No. 7) That depends on his subjective state of mind. He could genuinely be into the woman and they both just got hot for each other rather quickly. He could also just be trying to go for a pump-and-dump. I don't think the man is actually "using" or "playing" anyone in either scenario. The woman is consenting and an active participant, so she obviously isn't being "used." That's a term women overuse to describe buyer's remorse while simultaneously trying to erase the fact that she wanted to have sex just as badly from her memory. Only a moron with an ax to grind would glean even a hint of misogyny from your OP. Edited February 27, 2013 by TheBigQuestion
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