truth_seeker Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 In the last 12 months I've run into three different women I've clicked with (attraction, conversations) and all of them have boyfriends. Immediately I distance myself from each of them. What's the point? They're attached and I'm not one to mess around with another man's woman. Each though expect more from me. I've gotten the feeling if I assured them I would be with them, and only them, they would leave their boyfriends. I'm unsure about this. As much as I like them and would be happy to date one of them, why should I make the effort to convince them I'm stable and can give them security? Shouldn't they step up, break it off with their boyfriend and then reach out to me? Just a rant.
Apolodor Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 According to what you say, "you have the feeling", but the reality can be completely different. Check with them first and see if they confirm your expectations. I've known girls in LTR who were very quick to betray their boyfriends. I don't think you should have qualms about those girls' dudes. Let the best man win.
Estate Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 In the last 12 months I've run into three different women I've clicked with (attraction, conversations) and all of them have boyfriends. Immediately I distance myself from each of them. What's the point? They're attached and I'm not one to mess around with another man's woman. Each though expect more from me. I've gotten the feeling if I assured them I would be with them, and only them, they would leave their boyfriends. I'm unsure about this. As much as I like them and would be happy to date one of them, why should I make the effort to convince them I'm stable and can give them security? Shouldn't they step up, break it off with their boyfriend and then reach out to me? Just a rant. No, I don't agree at all. If she has a boyfriend you should move on and you should be meeting a lot more than 3 women in an entire year. I've met more than that since the weekend... if any of them had boyfriends, I'd just meet another. Why would you only talk to 3 girls in a whole year and of those only ones who are complicated?
tbf Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 As a thought, why not ask the boyfriend question upfront? The majority of people are in relationships. It might save you a lot of grief and lost time. 1
Author truth_seeker Posted February 26, 2013 Author Posted February 26, 2013 If she has a boyfriend you should move on and you should be meeting a lot more than 3 women in an entire year. I've met more than that since the weekend... if any of them had boyfriends, I'd just meet another. Why would you only talk to 3 girls in a whole year and of those only ones who are complicated? I'm only bringing up these three for sake of discussion.
hppr Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 In the last 12 months I've run into three different women I've clicked with (attraction, conversations) and all of them have boyfriends. Immediately I distance myself from each of them. What's the point? They're attached and I'm not one to mess around with another man's woman. Each though expect more from me. I've gotten the feeling if I assured them I would be with them, and only them, they would leave their boyfriends. I'm unsure about this. As much as I like them and would be happy to date one of them, why should I make the effort to convince them I'm stable and can give them security? Shouldn't they step up, break it off with their boyfriend and then reach out to me? Just a rant. "I have a boyfriend" is usually BS. Women test men, they throw up roadblocks to see if you'll keep coming. Next time you think you click with a girl and she says that she has a boyfriend ask her when the wedding is, or just keep going and ask her out anyways. Odds are if she's talking and flirting with you she's not into him all that much and women are always looking for something new and/or different than what they have.
miss_jaclynrae Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 I had a boyfriend when I met my current boyfriend. We hadn't been together long at that point but still... I didnt tell him I had one, instead I just called and dumped the one I had before going on a date with him. A few weeks in I confessed I had one and he thought it was pretty awesome... especially since the guy I was dating looked seriously like a model... it was sort of annoying how good looking he was. And the guy I dumped him for is an older bald man.
Author truth_seeker Posted February 26, 2013 Author Posted February 26, 2013 "I have a boyfriend" is usually BS. Women test men, they throw up roadblocks to see if you'll keep coming. Next time you think you click with a girl and she says that she has a boyfriend ask her when the wedding is, or just keep going and ask her out anyways. Odds are if she's talking and flirting with you she's not into him all that much and women are always looking for something new and/or different than what they have. I know for a fact two of the girls have boyfriends. I met one. lol. The other girl I was told through a mutual friend she wants out and I was encouraged to make move on her. I agree with what you wrote as the one girl I like the most I'm not sure if she actual has a bf or not. She keeps flirting with me but every once in awhile will mention having a boyfriend but then act like she doesn't have one. I'll have to get a clear cut answer.
jcrew11 Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 In the last 12 months I've run into three different women I've clicked with (attraction, conversations) and all of them have boyfriends. Immediately I distance myself from each of them. What's the point? They're attached and I'm not one to mess around with another man's woman. Each though expect more from me. I've gotten the feeling if I assured them I would be with them, and only them, they would leave their boyfriends. I'm unsure about this. As much as I like them and would be happy to date one of them, why should I make the effort to convince them I'm stable and can give them security? Shouldn't they step up, break it off with their boyfriend and then reach out to me? Just a rant. Women are wimps, and they don't want to be alone. Many women like the security of having a boyfriend (socially and physically), and are serial monogamists because they can't be alone and don't want to casually date. The hotter the girl, the higher expectations she has of herself always being with a Boyfriend. But women are prone to cheating and Trading up if they see a better option. Many women stay in "bad relationships" and "unhappy relationships" out of habit. Maybe it was an old HS relationship. Many women may be unhappy and her boyfriend may be a loser. It may be uncomfortable for you to "steal a girl from another dude" but she clearly sees you as a "Better boyfriend." My point is, if you really like this girl, then go for it, and get her to break up with her boyfriend. If she's not "wife-material" as is just a short term fling, then don't waste your time and move on to other women. 1
jcrew11 Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 I know for a fact two of the girls have boyfriends. I met one. lol. The other girl I was told through a mutual friend she wants out and I was encouraged to make move on her. I agree with what you wrote as the one girl I like the most I'm not sure if she actual has a bf or not. She keeps flirting with me but every once in awhile will mention having a boyfriend but then act like she doesn't have one. I'll have to get a clear cut answer. Some girls are also in FWB situations, where their "Boyfriend" cheats on them with other girls, or its a long-distance relationship she wants out of. Girls can be just as devious as men when it comes to cheating - only its not so much about sex as it is about trading up to a "better guy" 1
Author truth_seeker Posted February 26, 2013 Author Posted February 26, 2013 Women are wimps, and they don't want to be alone. Many women like the security of having a boyfriend (socially and physically), and are serial monogamists because they can't be alone and don't want to casually date. The hotter the girl, the higher expectations she has of herself always being with a Boyfriend. But women are prone to cheating and Trading up if they see a better option. Many women stay in "bad relationships" and "unhappy relationships" out of habit. Maybe it was an old HS relationship. Many women may be unhappy and her boyfriend may be a loser. It may be uncomfortable for you to "steal a girl from another dude" but she clearly sees you as a "Better boyfriend." My point is, if you really like this girl, then go for it, and get her to break up with her boyfriend. If she's not "wife-material" as is just a short term fling, then don't waste your time and move on to other women. I wouldn't be interested in a fling with this girl. My only concern, the tables would be turned on me at some point if I did get her.
Estate Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 I'm only bringing up these three for sake of discussion. Well which is it? You have only met 3 girls in an entire year and you have only approached girls with boyfriends. How simple is this to rectify? Approach more single women... problem solved. You sound like you just want the easy way out... you meet a girl very rarely because you don't want to approach other girls and when they have a boyfriend you are pissed and demanding they leave him for you? Get real!
Author truth_seeker Posted February 26, 2013 Author Posted February 26, 2013 Well which is it? You have only met 3 girls in an entire year and you have only approached girls with boyfriends. How simple is this to rectify? Approach more single women... problem solved. You sound like you just want the easy way out... you meet a girl very rarely because you don't want to approach other girls and when they have a boyfriend you are pissed and demanding they leave him for you? Get real! No. I've met and dated other women. None have resulted in a serious relationship. I'm not pissed just a bit frustrated. Why entertain me and lead me on when you're supposedly unavailable? I'm not asking anyone to ditch their boyfriend. My point is if you're in love, then don't flirt with other men. If you're not in love, leave the relationship then flirt when you're not attached to someone.
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