beauty1985 Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 Hi, I was dating a guy for a while and he turned out to be crazy and has completely wrecked my head! At the time he never made me feel happy. I was constantly paranoid and when I left from seeing him I rarely felt happy. I've told a few friends and my mum and they all say he was playing mind games with me and generally was quite manipulative. (which I've realised now) Now I cant help but think it was all my fault and I did something wrong. First of all he made several comments about other women directly to my face. He would say one thing then act or do something to completely contradict himself. Alot of manipulative stuff regarding sex. Never bothered to make an effort to come to me, I have to always come to him (altho he lives in the city and I live in the country) instead of asking me a direct question, ask me how I felt about 'us' or tell me how he felt about 'us' he would make weird comments or hint at things. Altho I am left feeling my communication could have been better, I really find a man like that hard to deal with, I didn't know how to react to him. And I didn't know how to be honest with him as he was acting so weird. He actually thought I wasnt that interested coz I told him to delete a photo we took of ourseleves coz we both looked awful but i let him take another one, and one night i didnt want a photo taken coz I have been in work for 10 hours, Like seriously who acts like that?! And he kept sayings about how my friends, Mum & sis didnt know about us, when he never actually asked me out right did they know! Whats it got to do with them anyway, it was about us and what he felt about each other not who knows?! I think he is abit insecure or got some issues going on??? And my friends and family did know about us, if he just asked me out right and was honest about his feeling I would have happily told him!!! What was i supposed to do shout about the place to let everyone know we were dating (or whatever he thought we were doing cause he never actually defined anything) Who has ever experienced a guy like this?! my head is melted over analyzing everything that happened! I am totally blaming myself
todreaminblue Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 (edited) Hi, I was dating a guy for a while and he turned out to be crazy and has completely wrecked my head! At the time he never made me feel happy. I was constantly paranoid and when I left from seeing him I rarely felt happy. I've told a few friends and my mum and they all say he was playing mind games with me and generally was quite manipulative. (which I've realised now) Now I cant help but think it was all my fault and I did something wrong. First of all he made several comments about other women directly to my face. He would say one thing then act or do something to completely contradict himself. Alot of manipulative stuff regarding sex. Never bothered to make an effort to come to me, I have to always come to him (altho he lives in the city and I live in the country) instead of asking me a direct question, ask me how I felt about 'us' or tell me how he felt about 'us' he would make weird comments or hint at things. Altho I am left feeling my communication could have been better, I really find a man like that hard to deal with, I didn't know how to react to him. And I didn't know how to be honest with him as he was acting so weird. He actually thought I wasnt that interested coz I told him to delete a photo we took of ourseleves coz we both looked awful but i let him take another one, and one night i didnt want a photo taken coz I have been in work for 10 hours, Like seriously who acts like that?! And he kept sayings about how my friends, Mum & sis didnt know about us, when he never actually asked me out right did they know! Whats it got to do with them anyway, it was about us and what he felt about each other not who knows?! I think he is abit insecure or got some issues going on??? And my friends and family did know about us, if he just asked me out right and was honest about his feeling I would have happily told him!!! What was i supposed to do shout about the place to let everyone know we were dating (or whatever he thought we were doing cause he never actually defined anything) Who has ever experienced a guy like this?! my head is melted over analyzing everything that happened! I am totally blaming myself havent really experienced a guy like this.....most guys i go out with are logical thinkers, because i am the crazy one who double speaks.....,most guys that i eventually date i have known for some time..most have been over six months i think that mark has a defining point........i find out what i need to find out before i date,becuase i dotn get interested in dating very often unfortunately my family and friends know when i am attracted to someone because i become dreamy eyed when mentioning his name which sucks and which sort of doesnt suck....most guys i have dated have wanted to meet my family and friends pretty much straight up and i didnt feel the need to tell anyone because they already knew anyway.....i take one day at a time....i am an endurance girl and i take things in my stride no matter how i feel i will let it go till i can see things from both sides.....a bit of give and take....i am mindufl o fth person i am in a relationship with....thats how i knwo i am ready to begin one...its nto all abotu m e...but what i can bring to make it special for the guy i am sorry you had a bad experience and you feel messed with....people handle things differently i think you have to respect differences and try and work with them not against them find a common ground and come back to that place when you need to...thats stategic and logic for dreamers and crazies like me...good luck next time....deb Edited February 25, 2013 by todreaminblue
Cutiepie1976 Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 Sorry this happened to you. View it as a lesson learned, figure or what you would do differently next time, and move on with your life. Stop wasting your time now micro-analyzing him and his inexplicable behavior. Perseverating on this and trying to understand his reasons are preventing you from starting the healing process. What he did is now water under the bridge. Take a kickboxing class to deal with your anger. You can pretend you're kicking his head if it helps. It will also get you in great shape for when you're finally ready to date again. There are better men out there. Good luck!
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