Do you agree that most men "settle" when getting a girlfriend?

[IndianGuy87]

Not necessarily "lots of the options" but at least the illusion of having something going in their life other than the pursuit of pussy.

 

 

 

Have you approached "weird, uncool and socially awkward" women who are "average looking" or are you making that judgement call based on the women who've rejected you?

 

Some women are turned on by shyness; some aren't. It's a non-issue. Many men make the same call. I'm a bit shy, not all guys like that and I don't expect them to. I'm happy to admit that shy men do not turn me on at all. I like what I like and can't change that. Why do expect these women to like you?

 

Actually, a lot of options but they choose to ignore most since they don't fit their high standards. Sure, there are men who approach women for pussy but those guys aren't that hard to weed out. Especially knowing that he's gotten around due to be surrounding by multiple women. The thing is though, they are only attracted to men who are already surrounded by multiple men. They don't give those average joes who are simple minded a chance even though they are very likely approaching them for a relationship rather than pussy. Women don't admit it but a lot also just want the dick so they want the good looking guy with experience. The only reason they don't admit to it because reputation is very important for women since none of them want to be labeled a slut in our society. If women really didn't wanna go for guys who are quite possibly just pursuing them for sex then they would definitely give the average joes a chance. But they don't and choose to risk it with guys who are already surrounded by multiple women because they find them really good looking. Funny cause a lot of the women are average looking themselves and are just seen as cumdumpsters by these guys. It's all about women trying to have their sexual needs satisfied when they are younger.

 

Yes, I've approached quite a few women like those but unfortunately, I'm neither good looking, tall, or rich so I got rejected.

 

The only girls are turned on by shyness is if he's either really good looking, tall, or rich, If not then no. Most women try their best to make men believe that they really like them for their personality when in fact it's completely untrue.

[Lonely Ronin]

Women don't admit it but a lot also just want the dick so they want the good looking guy with experience. The only reason they don't admit to it because reputation is very important for women since none of them want to be labeled a slut in our society. If women really didn't wanna go for guys who are quite possibly just pursuing them for sex then they would definitely give the average joes a chance. But they don't and choose to risk it with guys who are already surrounded by multiple women because they find them really good looking.

 

 

Basically your using the actions of bar-flies, & promiscuous women, to try and lump all women together. This is why you fail with women, your view of them is fundamentally flawed.

[kimberlydoll]

 

Yes, I've approached quite a few women like those but unfortunately, I'm neither good looking, tall, or rich so I got rejected.

 

The only girls are turned on by shyness is if he's either really good looking, tall, or rich, If not then no. Most women try their best to make men believe that they really like them for their personality when in fact it's completely untrue.

 

Work on your personality then. Dont show your negativity towards women at all in your actions and behaviors

[Granin]

I could never settle. I'm happier being on my own that with someone who I don't think is right for me at the time, and that's how most people work, I assume?

[joystickd]

No one really settles if they are in love with each other. Often on the outside looking in we notice the external things going on an never know whats really going on. We never know whats going on with them internally. We cant never see what they see so people go off their own personal beliefs about a situation they are looking at from the outside.

[Imajerk17]

Real talk here:

 

Yes, men are prone to end up in relationships with women for whom "something is missing", usually on the attraction end. They care for these women deeply but they are missing that gut-level primal urge to take them. It's quite possible for this to happen you know. You can feel a strong emotional bond towards someone whom you don't want to have sex with, and you can want to screw someone hard whom you really don't respect. How does this all happen in the first place? Well, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.... Read on.

 

This is something what has happened to me in the past. You meet a girl--either online or in person, for a date. You're not that physically attracted to her. (You could wind up on a date like this in the first place because, well, it's hard to see what someone looks like through a few pictures on their profile or even all dolled up in a smokey bar. ) But you decide to give the date a chance, and discover someone who is a terrific person who seems to be really into you. You also discovered how easily you both got along. And then you remember the girls whom you WERE physically attracted to--the last 5 girls you went out with once--who never returned your call for a second date. So you decide to go out with her again.

 

And again, there's a lot of laughter and a lot of fun, and she is cute enough for you to "give it a chance". And you and she go on yet another date, and then another after that. After all aren't these the most important things? And so it goes on and on. And before long you and she are dating exclusively. She becomes your girlfriend. She supports you and believes in you like no one else ever did before (without smothering you). But you still have reminders there's something missing. When you go grocery shopping you see that girl who just came from hot yoga in those black lululemon tights that hug her curves perfectly, you find yourself wishing your girlfriend would wear those instead of her usual baggy shorts or sweats. Hell you wish your girlfriend had a body like that in the first place. Overall you wish your girlfriend put more care into her appearance in general. But aren't these shallow things really? Will they matter 30 years from now?? We all get old! She is the most giving, high-character partner you ever had. You're going to throw all this away and break her heart over this??

 

But still, something is missing for you. You're reminded of it every time you see a woman who is cuter and more feminine than your girlfriend. When you put 2-and-2 together and realize that proposing means that your girlfriend is the last woman you will EVER have sex with, you feel like you are looking at a prison sentence. And you feel guilty as hell because again, she is so awesome. And if she were out of your life, you would miss her like hell. You really need her too.

 

Anyway I explained what was happening when ever a woman comes on here and her boyfriend says stuff like "I care for you but I don't think I can be a good boyfriend". Tough to read this but I did my best to be brutally honest for you all.

Edited February 27, 2013 by Imajerk17

[Jane2011]

Real talk here:

 

Yes, men are prone to end up in relationships with women for whom "something is missing", usually on the attraction end. They care for these women deeply but they are missing that gut-level primal urge to take them. It's quite possible for this to happen you know. You can feel a strong emotional bond towards someone whom you don't want to have sex with, and you can want to screw someone hard whom you really don't respect. How does this all happen in the first place? Well, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.... Read on.

 

This is something what has happened to me in the past. You meet a girl--either online or in person, for a date. You're not that physically attracted to her. (You could wind up on a date like this in the first place because, well, it's hard to see what someone looks like through a few pictures on their profile or even all dolled up in a smokey bar. ) But you decide to give the date a chance, and discover someone who is a terrific person who seems to be really into you. You also discovered how easily you both got along. And then you remember the girls whom you WERE physically attracted to--the last 5 girls you went out with once--who never returned your call for a second date. So you decide to go out with her again.

 

And again, there's a lot of laughter and a lot of fun, and she is cute enough for you to "give it a chance". And you and she go on yet another date, and then another after that. After all aren't these the most important things? And so it goes on and on. And before long you and she are dating exclusively. She becomes your girlfriend. She supports you and believes in you like no one else ever did before (without smothering you). But you still have reminders there's something missing. When you go grocery shopping you see that girl who just came from hot yoga in those black lululemon tights that hug her curves perfectly, you find yourself wishing your girlfriend would wear those instead of her usual baggy shorts or sweats. Hell you wish your girlfriend had a body like that in the first place. Overall you wish your girlfriend put more care into her appearance in general. But aren't these shallow things really? Will they matter 30 years from now?? We all get old! She is the most giving, high-character partner you ever had. You're going to throw all this away and break her heart over this??

 

But still, something is missing for you. You're reminded of it every time you see a woman who is cuter and more feminine than your girlfriend. When you put 2-and-2 together and realize that proposing means that your girlfriend is the last woman you will EVER have sex with, you feel like you are looking at a prison sentence. And you feel guilty as hell because again, she is so awesome. And if she were out of your life, you would miss her like hell. You really need her too.

 

Anyway I explained what was happening when ever a woman comes on here and her boyfriend says stuff like "I care for you but I don't think I can be a good boyfriend". Tough to read this but I did my best to be brutally honest for you all.

 

Good post. What you wrote sounds exactly like what is going on with my ex. I think that is what he felt with me, as well as with the woman he’s dating now (eight years older than him). He wrote me an email not long ago in which he sounded simply grateful for companionship with someone who’s “cool enough.” But they’ve fought and had mini-breakups a few times because even though they’re together, he persists in looking for work out of the state but still insists he’s committed to her and trying to make it work. I’m sure she thinks that’s rather f*cked up for him to be looking for work elsewhere (even though he has a job here that pays well enough).

 

I think he does have a problem in the sense that women who are a little older than him want him (and he has an intellectual / emotional connection with them) but he’s actually more viscerally attracted to younger women who are harder to get (and he simply can’t get them, at least not thus far).

 

I guess I would say to anyone who feels like they’re being settled for, to try not to let it hurt your self-esteem. My ex was kind of the same way with me (as he is with his present girlfriend) when I was with him. He was in strong like with me, we had an emotional and intellectual bond, he thought I was pretty, and I’m sure he appreciated my loyalty to and adoration of him. But he thought other women were more attractive and secretly longed to be with others.

 

This hurt me a lot when I was with him, and during and even a little after I was with him, I felt like no guy would ever want me. I thought, well they might want me, but not really.

 

That was in mid-2010, and I’ve since met a few men who absolutely adored me in a way that my ex didn’t. The one I am with now treats me like his “dream girl” and it’s absolutely amazing. I know I’m probably not truly his dream girl, but he acts like I am. I feel like I am his dream girl because he acts like I am.

 

(Technically, I don't like the whole concept of "dream girl" and "dream guy." Suffice it to say, a good situation is one in which your partner's focus is entirely on you and they seem pretty romantically indifferent to EVERYONE else, young, old, pretty, hot, whatever.) You shouldn't feel insecure in your relationship, and that feeling of insecurity that people often do feel isn't always coming from their own psychological hang-ups. The partner you're with often plays a part in making you feel insecure.)

 

I was insecure in my previous relationship and am secure in my current one. It has nothing to do with me having "grown" or "being more mature" now. I pretty much am always the same, emotionally. I'm more secure now because I'm with a partner who doesn't make me feel insecure by liking other women.

 

Wise words: One man’s trash is another man’s treasure…

[xxoo]

Real talk here:

 

Yes, men are prone to end up in relationships with women for whom "something is missing", usually on the attraction end. They care for these women deeply but they are missing that gut-level primal urge to take them. It's quite possible for this to happen you know. You can feel a strong emotional bond towards someone whom you don't want to have sex with, and you can want to screw someone hard whom you really don't respect. How does this all happen in the first place? Well, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.... Read on.

 

This is something what has happened to me in the past. You meet a girl--either online or in person, for a date. You're not that physically attracted to her. (You could wind up on a date like this in the first place because, well, it's hard to see what someone looks like through a few pictures on their profile or even all dolled up in a smokey bar. ) But you decide to give the date a chance, and discover someone who is a terrific person who seems to be really into you. You also discovered how easily you both got along. And then you remember the girls whom you WERE physically attracted to--the last 5 girls you went out with once--who never returned your call for a second date. So you decide to go out with her again.

 

And again, there's a lot of laughter and a lot of fun, and she is cute enough for you to "give it a chance". And you and she go on yet another date, and then another after that. After all aren't these the most important things? And so it goes on and on. And before long you and she are dating exclusively. She becomes your girlfriend. She supports you and believes in you like no one else ever did before (without smothering you). But you still have reminders there's something missing. When you go grocery shopping you see that girl who just came from hot yoga in those black lululemon tights that hug her curves perfectly, you find yourself wishing your girlfriend would wear those instead of her usual baggy shorts or sweats. Hell you wish your girlfriend had a body like that in the first place. Overall you wish your girlfriend put more care into her appearance in general. But aren't these shallow things really? Will they matter 30 years from now?? We all get old! She is the most giving, high-character partner you ever had. You're going to throw all this away and break her heart over this??

 

But still, something is missing for you. You're reminded of it every time you see a woman who is cuter and more feminine than your girlfriend. When you put 2-and-2 together and realize that proposing means that your girlfriend is the last woman you will EVER have sex with, you feel like you are looking at a prison sentence. And you feel guilty as hell because again, she is so awesome. And if she were out of your life, you would miss her like hell. You really need her too.

 

Anyway I explained what was happening when ever a woman comes on here and her boyfriend says stuff like "I care for you but I don't think I can be a good boyfriend". Tough to read this but I did my best to be brutally honest for you all.

 

I think women get stuck in these "too bad to stay, too good to leave" situations, too.

 

For those women looking to avoid being the settled-for woman, would you say his his desire for sex over time, as well as his desire for commitment, are a good measure of satisfaction?

 

From a woman's pov, I believe many women will still push for marriage, even when feeling this way about their guy, because the promise of marriage is a turn-on itself.

[dasein]

I left my last boyfriend because it felt like he was trying to settle for me.

 

OT, but sorry to hear this. Have been away a few months and thought you and that guy had a good thing going.

[SteveC80]

 

From a woman's pov, I believe many women will still push for marriage, even when feeling this way about their guy, because the promise of marriage is a turn-on itself.

 

Which is something women have to stop and one reason you see so many divorces

 

I think women are bombared with their dream wedding day since theyre children and women even if they arent fully in love with a guy are so obsessed about having their princess day that theyre willing to get married even if there not all in

 

Marriage becomes an obsesion for women where sometimes the guy theyre marrying becomes secondary to them having their day

[SJC2008]

Don't be ashamed for being cynnical. I'm cynnical in that I beleive most people are selfish and will date people they're not completely into to not be alone and ghost when the BBD comes along. However I know in my heart there are good natured men and women out there, you just gotta find them. That's the differnce between being cynnical and bitter IMO.

 

Anyway, I find you to be very attractive and would date you in a New York Minute OP:) I don't know what type of woman an "average" man would leave you for looks wise so that has me confused in that I don't think an average man could do better than you looks wise not to start a league debate or anything lol.

[RogerWallace111]

Real talk here:

 

Yes, men are prone to end up in relationships with women for whom "something is missing", usually on the attraction end. They care for these women deeply but they are missing that gut-level primal urge to take them. It's quite possible for this to happen you know. You can feel a strong emotional bond towards someone whom you don't want to have sex with, and you can want to screw someone hard whom you really don't respect. How does this all happen in the first place? Well, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.... Read on.

 

This is something what has happened to me in the past. You meet a girl--either online or in person, for a date. You're not that physically attracted to her. (You could wind up on a date like this in the first place because, well, it's hard to see what someone looks like through a few pictures on their profile or even all dolled up in a smokey bar. ) But you decide to give the date a chance, and discover someone who is a terrific person who seems to be really into you. You also discovered how easily you both got along. And then you remember the girls whom you WERE physically attracted to--the last 5 girls you went out with once--who never returned your call for a second date. So you decide to go out with her again.

 

And again, there's a lot of laughter and a lot of fun, and she is cute enough for you to "give it a chance". And you and she go on yet another date, and then another after that. After all aren't these the most important things? And so it goes on and on. And before long you and she are dating exclusively. She becomes your girlfriend. She supports you and believes in you like no one else ever did before (without smothering you). But you still have reminders there's something missing. When you go grocery shopping you see that girl who just came from hot yoga in those black lululemon tights that hug her curves perfectly, you find yourself wishing your girlfriend would wear those instead of her usual baggy shorts or sweats. Hell you wish your girlfriend had a body like that in the first place. Overall you wish your girlfriend put more care into her appearance in general. But aren't these shallow things really? Will they matter 30 years from now?? We all get old! She is the most giving, high-character partner you ever had. You're going to throw all this away and break her heart over this??

 

But still, something is missing for you. You're reminded of it every time you see a woman who is cuter and more feminine than your girlfriend. When you put 2-and-2 together and realize that proposing means that your girlfriend is the last woman you will EVER have sex with, you feel like you are looking at a prison sentence. And you feel guilty as hell because again, she is so awesome. And if she were out of your life, you would miss her like hell. You really need her too.

 

Anyway I explained what was happening when ever a woman comes on here and her boyfriend says stuff like "I care for you but I don't think I can be a good boyfriend". Tough to read this but I did my best to be brutally honest for you all.

 

Damn son, that is some real-ass talk

[IndianGuy87]

Work on your personality then. Dont show your negativity towards women at all in your actions and behaviors

 

My personality was always fine when I got along with everyone and didn't believe in the things that I believe now about women. Now after my experiences and observations, I know for a fact personality doesn't mean anything unless you're really good looking, tall, or rich. The whole personality thing has gotten old now when women say it is what's important when in fact their actions show otherwise in their preference for men.

[IndianGuy87]

Basically your using the actions of bar-flies, & promiscuous women, to try and lump all women together. This is why you fail with women, your view of them is fundamentally flawed.

 

Nope. This is basically almost every woman I've seen, even the ones come off as goodie goodie and angels rather than promiscuous. And by the way, my view of women was never like this till recently when I finally gave up on them.

[Leigh 87]

I don't get this world anymore, I just don't. I have tried to be the best I can be with others only to find that I am thrown over countless times for someone else. My mom's friends like to talk, I overheard them once a while back asking each other "why doesn't she have a boyfriend because she's so beautiful?" I have a good personality, a rockin body (and I can say that, I worked on it), and people tell me I have a pretty face but it doesn't seem to matter to anyone out there.

 

Guys have thrown me over for trashy women. My last serious bf threw me over after six months, saying that every woman he'd ever been with has broken it off over his bad behaviors. Barely four months later, he got another girlfriend. Weeks later, he moved in with her and is still with her as far as I know. He was looking to move out of his mom's house and when I wasn't offering he found someone who would. Others past, serious or not, have gone for women who throw tantrums, scream and fight with them when I want to make things as happy as possible, not to mention strippers. They will never learn until it comes and bites them in the ass. Through Facebook I looked up a few from the past and they said that they felt like they weren't good enough for me.

 

I have been burned so many times I am tired. Honestly, when I get my hopes up the man ends up leaving me for some stupid reason then takes up with someone else who will do the same again. I feel those who are "in my league" aren't interested, the ones under me aren't either. If there are those over me, I haven't met them knowingly. Is it so much to ask that a man not be intimidated or secure enough with themselves to be good to everyone including me? Many of them have patted me on the head more or less saying "you're a big girl, you can handle it."

 

Well, yes, I am a big girl. And this big girl has decided to hang it up. I have become rather bitter over the past few months/years on this, I hope it doesn't show on my face or attitude with others. I wanted to get that off my chest.

 

 

 

 

I am really sorry about what you have gone through..

 

I honestly think it is because the guy just did not "feel it" with you...

 

They have a stronger gut feeling with the idiot who throws tantrums, I guess! It happens; men who just lack the emotions for hot, successfull women like you, and simply like girls who are more stupid or have a worse personality, or are not as attractive as you are.

 

Just wait, a guy who feels strongly about you will find you eventually....

 

I have a new friends who sounds like you; she is pretty and successfull, and also is very independant and does not need a relationship.. Yet she struggles to keep any man interested for long.

 

I put it down to "feeling" it with you, or not. I think a man either has the emotional capacity to love you or not, regardless of how beautiful or amazing you are.

[GoodOnPaper]

And again, there's a lot of laughter and a lot of fun, and she is cute enough for you to "give it a chance". And you and she go on yet another date, and then another after that. After all aren't these the most important things? And so it goes on and on. And before long you and she are dating exclusively. She becomes your girlfriend. She supports you and believes in you like no one else ever did before (without smothering you). But you still have reminders there's something missing. When you go grocery shopping you see that girl who just came from hot yoga in those black lululemon tights that hug her curves perfectly, you find yourself wishing your girlfriend would wear those instead of her usual baggy shorts or sweats. Hell you wish your girlfriend had a body like that in the first place. Overall you wish your girlfriend put more care into her appearance in general. But aren't these shallow things really? Will they matter 30 years from now?? We all get old! She is the most giving, high-character partner you ever had. You're going to throw all this away and break her heart over this??

 

This is a pretty accurate summation of how "settling" comes about -- it's not something a guy does to be intentionally devious. It's not even that he's UN-attracted, but the level of attraction and intimacy isn't the oxytocin-saturated bonding experience that everyone says it should be.

 

I think early in the thread, the OP mentioned how the problem is that a lot of guys don't have many dating options -- that can compound things. You don't get practice at rejecting women -- or even just practice at handling unbalanced attraction levels. Trust me, after years of either being rejected or being the one who feels more attraction than his partner, suddenly having to deal with a situation where SHE is more attracted to you than you are to her is extremely difficult.

 

But what is a guy who isn't great at the attraction phase of things to do? Pass on any and all dating opportunities unless he thinks he will fall madly in love with the girl? That's not reasonable. We're ok with the guys that can go through dozens of women via ONSs and FWBs but if a "relationship guy" has doubts about a single woman, it's the worst thing ever. It doesn't make sense.

[xxoo]

But what is a guy who isn't great at the attraction phase of things to do? Pass on any and all dating opportunities unless he thinks he will fall madly in love with the girl? That's not reasonable. We're ok with the guys that can go through dozens of women via ONSs and FWBs but if a "relationship guy" has doubts about a single woman, it's the worst thing ever. It doesn't make sense.

 

Having doubts at the beginning is one thing. Having doubts when planning marriage is another.

 

And not everyone is ok with a history of dozens of FWB or ONS. What about the healthy, typical middle ground?

[GoodOnPaper]

Having doubts at the beginning is one thing. Having doubts when planning marriage is another.

 

You reach a point when you're in-for-a-penny, in-for-a-pound and you just do the best job you can as a husband and father.

[xxoo]

You reach a point when you're in-for-a-penny, in-for-a-pound and you just do the best job you can as a husband and father.

 

If that is the situation, I'm guessing it would be fairly obvious to both people involved? Or is it possible to marry for those reason and feign enough enthusiasm that the woman feels that she wasn't settled-for?

[GoodOnPaper]

If she's happy, why would she feel settled for?

[Drseussgrrl]

I don't get this world anymore, I just don't. I have tried to be the best I can be with others only to find that I am thrown over countless times for someone else. My mom's friends like to talk, I overheard them once a while back asking each other "why doesn't she have a boyfriend because she's so beautiful?" I have a good personality, a rockin body (and I can say that, I worked on it), and people tell me I have a pretty face but it doesn't seem to matter to anyone out there.

 

Guys have thrown me over for trashy women. My last serious bf threw me over after six months, saying that every woman he'd ever been with has broken it off over his bad behaviors. Barely four months later, he got another girlfriend. Weeks later, he moved in with her and is still with her as far as I know. He was looking to move out of his mom's house and when I wasn't offering he found someone who would. Others past, serious or not, have gone for women who throw tantrums, scream and fight with them when I want to make things as happy as possible, not to mention strippers. They will never learn until it comes and bites them in the ass. Through Facebook I looked up a few from the past and they said that they felt like they weren't good enough for me.

 

I have been burned so many times I am tired. Honestly, when I get my hopes up the man ends up leaving me for some stupid reason then takes up with someone else who will do the same again. I feel those who are "in my league" aren't interested, the ones under me aren't either. If there are those over me, I haven't met them knowingly. Is it so much to ask that a man not be intimidated or secure enough with themselves to be good to everyone including me? Many of them have patted me on the head more or less saying "you're a big girl, you can handle it."

 

Well, yes, I am a big girl. And this big girl has decided to hang it up. I have become rather bitter over the past few months/years on this, I hope it doesn't show on my face or attitude with others. I wanted to get that off my chest.

 

I'm just gonna be blunt here. Maybe you should just start being more of a bitch. And I don't mean a mean bitch. Just don't be afraid to raise a stink about stuff.

 

Guys love a woman who stands up to them. If you're always worried about keeping things as "happy as possible", well, that gets boring I'm sorry to say.

[Drseussgrrl]

Real talk here:

 

Yes, men are prone to end up in relationships with women for whom "something is missing", usually on the attraction end. They care for these women deeply but they are missing that gut-level primal urge to take them. It's quite possible for this to happen you know. You can feel a strong emotional bond towards someone whom you don't want to have sex with, and you can want to screw someone hard whom you really don't respect. How does this all happen in the first place? Well, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.... Read on.

 

This is something what has happened to me in the past. You meet a girl--either online or in person, for a date. You're not that physically attracted to her. (You could wind up on a date like this in the first place because, well, it's hard to see what someone looks like through a few pictures on their profile or even all dolled up in a smokey bar. ) But you decide to give the date a chance, and discover someone who is a terrific person who seems to be really into you. You also discovered how easily you both got along. And then you remember the girls whom you WERE physically attracted to--the last 5 girls you went out with once--who never returned your call for a second date. So you decide to go out with her again.

 

And again, there's a lot of laughter and a lot of fun, and she is cute enough for you to "give it a chance". And you and she go on yet another date, and then another after that. After all aren't these the most important things? And so it goes on and on. And before long you and she are dating exclusively. She becomes your girlfriend. She supports you and believes in you like no one else ever did before (without smothering you). But you still have reminders there's something missing. When you go grocery shopping you see that girl who just came from hot yoga in those black lululemon tights that hug her curves perfectly, you find yourself wishing your girlfriend would wear those instead of her usual baggy shorts or sweats. Hell you wish your girlfriend had a body like that in the first place. Overall you wish your girlfriend put more care into her appearance in general. But aren't these shallow things really? Will they matter 30 years from now?? We all get old! She is the most giving, high-character partner you ever had. You're going to throw all this away and break her heart over this??

 

But still, something is missing for you. You're reminded of it every time you see a woman who is cuter and more feminine than your girlfriend. When you put 2-and-2 together and realize that proposing means that your girlfriend is the last woman you will EVER have sex with, you feel like you are looking at a prison sentence. And you feel guilty as hell because again, she is so awesome. And if she were out of your life, you would miss her like hell. You really need her too.

 

Anyway I explained what was happening when ever a woman comes on here and her boyfriend says stuff like "I care for you but I don't think I can be a good boyfriend". Tough to read this but I did my best to be brutally honest for you all.

 

And yet - the hot girl at the store in the yoga pants eludes you to this day.

[xxoo]

If she's happy, why would she feel settled for?

 

She's happy for a while....but if and when sex slows down, I wonder if it will become an issue.

 

And yet - the hot girl at the store in the yoga pants eludes you to this day.

 

I have a feeling that, if he found an average girl with whom he had really great sexual chemistry, the hot girl in yoga pants would cease to be an issue.

 

No?

[123321]

She's happy for a while....but if and when sex slows down, I wonder if it will become an issue.

 

 

 

I have a feeling that, if he found an average girl with whom he had really great sexual chemistry, the hot girl in yoga pants would cease to be an issue.

 

No?

 

Sexy is as sexy does, to a large degree. Anyone who says differently isn't probably speaking from a lot of experience.

[Imajerk17]

 

I have a feeling that, if he found an average girl with whom he had really great sexual chemistry, the hot girl in yoga pants would cease to be an issue.

 

No?

 

Good question. Here is the thing: I am attracted to a certain physical type. To some my ideal type might be average-looking, but to me she is very hot (right now dealing with looks here--as I see her down the aisle in the grocery store and I get that feeling that I have to talk to her).

 

But it's not just looks. Some women just know how to dress and carry themselves in a way that gets a man to say "this is a WOMAN". They know how to make a guy feel sexy while challenging him in a way that gets him to step it up. Maybe I will write a thread about it.

 

And FYI Drseussgrrl: I am going on a third date with a woman whom I met in the grocery store--yes, when I met her she came from hot yoga, she was wearing her tights, and she looked...pretty good in them. Don't know whether you are happy to hear the news or disappointed that I actually met someone like that, but there you go.