Do you agree that most men "settle" when getting a girlfriend?

[fortyninethousand322]

I think you're just being deliberately obtuse. Being able to "sense" that a guy is a desperate loser or that he does not really cherish us is pretty normal.

 

To the guys who always say, "duh, like I'd ever tell a girl I have no friends, no interests, and I'm only dating her because she's the only one who would go out with me" - well … how's that theory actually working out for you in real life?

 

Here is the bottom line: dating is supposed to be a time to get to know someone - someone who had something about them that interested and attracted you enough to want to do it. Or, maybe even a time of social experimenting where not too much attraction is required - but if you're an honest person, a relationship won't happen just because you "can get" someone to do that with you.

 

If people who are dating grow to like each other very much and you're compatible, you might become a couple.

 

If you think to yourself, "I don't like this person very much, and their body disgusts me with that extra pudge, but this is the best I can get so I will stick with them" then you are a jerk IMO - not ANY better than the so - called "bad boys" that y'all are always claiming that women prefer to the self identified "nice guys." No less of a user.

 

And the unfortunate recipient of this … begrudging acquiescence to being with them? has no need of extrasensory perception to realize this.

 

Honest.

 

Eh, I think in many, many relationships (even friendships for that matter) people can hide certain things about themselves that may seem obvious in hindsight or even to neutral observers. How many stories do we hear of women who got married to men who were in the closet? Or men who were con men or members of the mob, often with their wives totally in the dark? It is possible that a guy could date someone because she's the only one who would bother to go out with him, while he keeps that fact a secret from her. It's possible. How likely that is varies from person to person.

 

I think it's natural for people, when faced with the alternative of a life lived alone (i.e. no spouse/no kids) to settle with whoever happens to like them, whether that interest is reciprocated or not. You could argue that it's a sad state of affairs, that everyone deserves to have a fulfilling relationship with someone who is as into them as they are. But, just like not everyone can be a world famous chef or a NBA player, sometimes things don't work out that way. It's life. As adults, we have to accept that it will sometimes be ugly.

[candie13]

jeesh, I am reading these posts and I realize that maybe in the States, people are so clingy on where they are "in a relationship", "casually dating", "about to get married", "having kids" and each and everyone of the partners is trying to get his or her way.

 

Sorry, guys, allow me to say "F*CK THAT". I am not shopping around for a bf. I am searching for a guy who would get me. And that is the main reason why two people stay together. Together, they give to each other something that nobody else can give them. If the rest of the population of the planet becomes redundant... who's settling ?

 

That is the man I want to have in my life. Have his babies. Near whom I want to grow old. I don't give a sh*t about Brand Pitt, Johnny Depp and Jude Law coming along, because I've got home something that looks and money can't buy.

 

Cannot believe how simple that is. Forget "easy sex", or "lots of sex". No one can keep a lie forever. No one can live with "good enough" because each and everyone of us thinks s/he's special. And you need to live near someone you think is special to feel fulfilled.

 

The biggest flaw in Ninja's post is that he is generalizing. Sorry, man, you have no idea what "people" are like. Who's them?

 

Speak for yourself. What you want. What you care about. What's important for you. That is how you can actually bring value and help the others. And that, folks, is my opinion !

[dj572]

I think ninjainpajamas nailed it. In my experience what he posted is true.

[SteveC80]

People want to beleive life is a fairy tale the truth is theyres some undesriable people who have to settle for whoever will accept them or live life alone

 

If i was some ugly dude who couldnt get women except maybe some obese chick id rather be alone the rest of my life then be with soembody i have no attraction to because its all i can get but the truth is alot of people arent wired like that and would rather somebody then be alone

[Mme. Chaucer]

Men need to consider the following criteria :

 

* Psychological state

* Self esteem

* Emotional composure

* Real, genuine independence (of thought, identity)

* Real strength (good work ethic, motivated)

* Level headed, sensible

* Pride, dignity and class

* Humility, modesty

* Graciousness (ie not passive aggressive)

* Loving, generous and respectful

* Honest and trustworthy

* Loyal

* Friendly and likeable

* Is interesting, has depth, and intelligence

* Is fun and playful

* Character, honour, integrity

* Conscience, accountability

* Feminine

* Submissiveness

* Wholesome, not toxic

 

 

If a woman has all those qualities, do you still need to use HazMat protocol for your used condoms with her?

[Revolver]

A couple things. This isn't most men or the majority of men, but I do believe there's a percentage of guys right now who are only with their current GF because they can't get the girl they really want. So they stay with her for all the benefits of having a girlfriend.

 

However most men, especially younger men right now with any sort of options generally play the field until they find their ideal woman. And I think that's the smartest move in 2013

[runningfar]

I have never felt I settled and if I felt my boyfriend did he would be history. My guy friends or brother also never talk like this. This is a weird thought to me

[candie13]

you assume that they know what they want. Or that they are actively searching for it... guess again, smart fellow.

 

Men are with the girls they can have and girls stay with these guys because a guy is better than no guy. Guess what, THEIR PROBLEM! Who settles, who's playing the field, why they're playing the field... YOU GOT NO IDEA ! that's why it's bad to generalize.

 

Last summer, I dated this gorgeous, breath taking young man. Seemed legit. Talked legit. I totally believe his "looking for the right one" game. He was sooooo insecure! He was so afraid that when women would get enough of his charm and smooth talks, they would not like, accept or appreciate who he really was. That's why he was withdrawing and preferred to chase other girls... until the next one got a little bit too close.. .and then he'd start "playing the field" . If you ask me, it is the field that's playing him.

 

Look attentively at the WHY behind people's actions. Most of the times, it's not because they want something better. It's because they are scared - either to look for something better or to find something better . If they ever start looking and not just wonder off, from woman to woman. Less glamorous, when u think about it this way, ain't it?

[Ninjainpajamas]

The problem is that it only addressed one scenario: the scenario of the non-invested man.

 

There is another scenario where the man truly is deeply in love.

 

The problem is....the majority of women insist on being the exception to the rule.

 

Man that must be nice, always experiencing something different than the rest of the world...I mean it couldn't possibly be because you are telling yourself what you want to believe or your own personal emotions you refuse to let go of....no, no, it's always something more...something deeper...I'm sure you knew exactly what that man was thinking or feeling even though the guy likely couldn't/wouldn't express or articulate how he feels in any significant way...oh no on he doesn't need to, you know how he feels, he's harboring all this emotion and just doesn't express it like you do...which is why for most women that man isn't sitting right next to you anymore. You know, everybody else is experiencing bob knows what...I mean why even think about that? life revolves around you as a person after all, right?

 

You know what...it's ok, it just didn't work out, you weren't compatible, you were madly in love with this person, gushing at the seams to all your friends, annoying everyone around you with your blissful experience during the moment and now what? resolve it to just being....bad timing? wasn't ready? need some growing up to do? not ready to settle down? too scared?...none of these could possibly be scape-goats and playing a card they know will give them a more painless and less heart-breaking exit than tell you that they aren't interested in you enough to settle down...no no, you're right, has nothing to do with that. None of these are never another version of "it isn't you...it's me", no no, it's always completely the truth...I mean if it was a Tuesday when you met instead of a Thursday things would have totally worked out looking back But you know I'm sure that person chose much better circumstances than to be with you, I'm sure he just didn't go jump into it with someone else, no no, that would be bad timing, or he wasn't ready.

 

Women believe far too much what men say...it's NEVER the whole truth, it's extremely comical and as a man, you just shake your head at it. You know how when you work in an office, and the boss walks in because something went wrong but doesn't know who's responsible...nobody wants to be the guy that calls out the person who did it even though everyone knows who did it? nobody wants to be THAT guy? they'd rather just hang their heads and keep quiet.

 

Guess what? I'm that guy who speaks up, not for me, for you!...I'm telling you how it is, yet who's the bad guy? me. I'm cynical, I'm a pessimist, because I'm not lying to your faces and bullsh!!!ting you to kingdom come with a whole mating song and dance so I can play your vagina like a fiddle, filled with half-truths and exaggerated overly committed rhetoric that I'm really not emotionally ready for...that make you feel better because you can actually swallow that, even after the guy you so faithfully believe in the good guy proved you wrong!

 

I know what these guys are lying to you about, or omitting, what planet you think I'm from?. That sh!!!t is so typical, I've seen a hundred guys spin the exact same game and yet you're telling me who am I talking about? who the hell are you talking about? what planet do you live on? Do you honestly and seriously believe you could explain to me how men think and feel? c'mon now. I know how men think that they themselves don't even realize, I've seen what those guys do and say behind your back and you know what? any man with a lick of a social life has seen it himself too, let alone amongst men who are successful. Most people can't even fathom the bigger picture, can't even encompass it nor less even really care about it.

 

Men often do things in denial because they don't want to be a bad guy, they feel guilty, but as soon as they're called out...you know what the less stubborn men will say to ME "You're right? damn, I just thought x and x but it's true"...no one calls men out, so they can to live in their own delusional world...why? because women let them be, you let men get away with all these half @ss answers and avoid all the tough questions...all you do is crank up the pressure or put him in a corner and then of course he runs or wiggles his way out and what do you do? you accept it even though you know it's BS, and keep going until you've had enough.

 

There's so many punches I pull on these forums with my truths and why? because the majority of people just aren't ready to accept it, they just can't handle the truth. They've got to see life in a bed of roses and with all these idealistic and romantic fantasies while I know what your little wannabe casanova is actually thinking and doing, because I've seen it done a million times before him. I guarantee you these men are not being transparent with you, and that's why I'm laying it out on the line for you to see.

 

Men will never ever ever ever be completely honest with you...what don't you get about that? why would they? ha, you think your boyfriends/husbands or any man would even dare say that he'd agree with my rants? why? to be thrown on a burning fire? you'd snap at him with a big "Oh" look on your face and gasp in disgust or disbelief, and then he'd be subject to being sacrificed and judged as that kind of a man.

 

Please....men are not retarded, they'll just keep buttering you up and denying it, after-all you already want to believe it right? And you know what the funniest part of it all is...most men aren't even good at it! These guys aren't even giving you a big wow, or a very "magical" and "romantic" experience and yet like a dog after the icecream truck, kicking up dirt with your tail in the air chasing it down!

 

Bob forbid if a man is charming, suave and charismatic, oh sh1111t, somebody call the heart-throb police! and he's good looking and tall?....oh my god ::swoooooon:: somebody find me a vibrator, bottle of wine and a cigarette...it is...ova!

 

But the truth will always be the least popular of tales.

[Lonely Ronin]

You got up on the wrong side of the bed again didn't you Ninja?

[xxoo]

"In love" is the exception of the dating experience. It is generally what ends the dating experience, and moves the person along to the next stage of life.

 

But it isn't the exception in life. Men in love aren't exactly rare. They just aren't in love with every girl they ever dated. And yes, women need to realize that a man will stay in a relationship when he is not in love. But guess what? Women will, too. Women will even marry when not in love. I believe men do that less often.

 

The key, again, is to learn to recognize what is and is not "in love", if that is important to you.

[Phoe]

Men need to consider the following criteria :

 

* Psychological state

* Self esteem

* Emotional composure

* Real, genuine independence (of thought, identity)

* Real strength (good work ethic, motivated)

* Level headed, sensible

* Pride, dignity and class

* Humility, modesty

* Graciousness (ie not passive aggressive)

* Loving, generous and respectful

* Honest and trustworthy

* Loyal

* Friendly and likeable

* Is interesting, has depth, and intelligence

* Is fun and playful

* Character, honour, integrity

* Conscience, accountability

* Feminine

* Submissiveness

* Wholesome, not toxic

 

Men, have some self respect and raise your standards. It's very rare to find a western woman who fulfills the above.

 

Ok, I haven't read the rest of the thread past this, so I apologize if it's gone in a different direction by now or this has already been addressed, but I wanted to mention something...

 

While this list looks nice in theory, to me it's all so obvious. To me, these are things that are common sense! This is the stuff of normal, decent human beings. I know VERY few people, men or women, who are significantly lacking in the characteristics in this list. Maybe it's because I don't associate with people who have major personality issues, but I think that MOST of the population can check off the majority of this list...

 

I think finding a dateable person is so much more than just checking off this list. I personally find myself only potentially lacking in 3 areas, and those are iffy anyway. Self-esteem, Submissiveness, and Wholesomeness.

 

Self-esteem isn't terrible for me, I view it as being a realistic. I'd rather have a slightly underinflated view of myself than an overinflated view. I'm a decent person but I'm not perfect, ya know? ... Submissiveness is something I'm PROUD to not have. When it comes to important things, I won't just be a doormat. I'm stronger than that. Finally, wholesomeness is just... I dunno, a strange concept to me. I'm not some deviant drug using criminal whore or anything like that, but I'm not some pristine innocent angel. I'm human. I'm a little rough around the edges. I don't think that's a problem.

 

So add up having most of the positive attributes in that last with some average to decent looks, takes care of themselves and has good hygiene, and yes, you've got a dateable person! But to me that still incorporates a huge portion of the population. I don't think these are rare people to find at all!

[Ninjainpajamas]

You got up on the wrong side of the bed again didn't you Ninja?

 

Just taking the flak for what other men do and hide basically....another day at the office

[Lonely Ronin]

Just taking the flak for what other men do and hide basically....another day at the office

 

Now all men do this crap, I know several that don't! Though I do know a lot of cowardly little boys that do this crap.

[Negative Nancy]

The problem is....the majority of women insist on being the exception to the rule.

 

Man that must be nice, always experiencing something different than the rest of the world...I mean it couldn't possibly be because you are telling yourself what you want to believe or your own personal emotions you refuse to let go of....no, no, it's always something more...something deeper...I'm sure you knew exactly what that man was thinking or feeling even though the guy likely couldn't/wouldn't express or articulate how he feels in any significant way...oh no on he doesn't need to, you know how he feels, he's harboring all this emotion and just doesn't express it like you do...which is why for most women that man isn't sitting right next to you anymore. You know, everybody else is experiencing bob knows what...I mean why even think about that? life revolves around you as a person after all, right?

 

You know what...it's ok, it just didn't work out, you weren't compatible, you were madly in love with this person, gushing at the seams to all your friends, annoying everyone around you with your blissful experience during the moment and now what? resolve it to just being....bad timing? wasn't ready? need some growing up to do? not ready to settle down? too scared?...none of these could possibly be scape-goats and playing a card they know will give them a more painless and less heart-breaking exit than tell you that they aren't interested in you enough to settle down...no no, you're right, has nothing to do with that. None of these are never another version of "it isn't you...it's me", no no, it's always completely the truth...I mean if it was a Tuesday when you met instead of a Thursday things would have totally worked out looking back But you know I'm sure that person chose much better circumstances than to be with you, I'm sure he just didn't go jump into it with someone else, no no, that would be bad timing, or he wasn't ready.

 

Women believe far too much what men say...it's NEVER the whole truth, it's extremely comical and as a man, you just shake your head at it. You know how when you work in an office, and the boss walks in because something went wrong but doesn't know who's responsible...nobody wants to be the guy that calls out the person who did it even though everyone knows who did it? nobody wants to be THAT guy? they'd rather just hang their heads and keep quiet.

 

Guess what? I'm that guy who speaks up, not for me, for you!...I'm telling you how it is, yet who's the bad guy? me. I'm cynical, I'm a pessimist, because I'm not lying to your faces and bullsh!!!ting you to kingdom come with a whole mating song and dance so I can play your vagina like a fiddle, filled with half-truths and exaggerated overly committed rhetoric that I'm really not emotionally ready for...that make you feel better because you can actually swallow that, even after the guy you so faithfully believe in the good guy proved you wrong!

 

I know what these guys are lying to you about, or omitting, what planet you think I'm from?. That sh!!!t is so typical, I've seen a hundred guys spin the exact same game and yet you're telling me who am I talking about? who the hell are you talking about? what planet do you live on? Do you honestly and seriously believe you could explain to me how men think and feel? c'mon now. I know how men think that they themselves don't even realize, I've seen what those guys do and say behind your back and you know what? any man with a lick of a social life has seen it himself too, let alone amongst men who are successful. Most people can't even fathom the bigger picture, can't even encompass it nor less even really care about it.

 

Men often do things in denial because they don't want to be a bad guy, they feel guilty, but as soon as they're called out...you know what the less stubborn men will say to ME "You're right? damn, I just thought x and x but it's true"...no one calls men out, so they can to live in their own delusional world...why? because women let them be, you let men get away with all these half @ss answers and avoid all the tough questions...all you do is crank up the pressure or put him in a corner and then of course he runs or wiggles his way out and what do you do? you accept it even though you know it's BS, and keep going until you've had enough.

 

There's so many punches I pull on these forums with my truths and why? because the majority of people just aren't ready to accept it, they just can't handle the truth. They've got to see life in a bed of roses and with all these idealistic and romantic fantasies while I know what your little wannabe casanova is actually thinking and doing, because I've seen it done a million times before him. I guarantee you these men are not being transparent with you, and that's why I'm laying it out on the line for you to see.

 

Men will never ever ever ever be completely honest with you...what don't you get about that? why would they? ha, you think your boyfriends/husbands or any man would even dare say that he'd agree with my rants? why? to be thrown on a burning fire? you'd snap at him with a big "Oh" look on your face and gasp in disgust or disbelief, and then he'd be subject to being sacrificed and judged as that kind of a man.

 

Please....men are not retarded, they'll just keep buttering you up and denying it, after-all you already want to believe it right? And you know what the funniest part of it all is...most men aren't even good at it! These guys aren't even giving you a big wow, or a very "magical" and "romantic" experience and yet like a dog after the icecream truck, kicking up dirt with your tail in the air chasing it down!

 

Bob forbid if a man is charming, suave and charismatic, oh sh1111t, somebody call the heart-throb police! and he's good looking and tall?....oh my god ::swoooooon:: somebody find me a vibrator, bottle of wine and a cigarette...it is...ova!

 

But the truth will always be the least popular of tales.

 

Your postings are always enjoyable, but you too often speak in riddles...you say you know the truth about most men, but never fully explain the full truth. SO what is the truth with regards to the subject of this thread?

[ThaWholigan]

Just taking the flak for what other men do and hide basically....another day at the office

I personally don't take the flak because I don't do none of that sh*t - I ain't taking the flak for sh*t that ain't got nothing to do with me .

 

I swear .

 

*looks around shifty*

[Shardish]

I'd rather remain single than settle with somebody I am not entirely satisfied with.

[JourneyLady]

So.

 

Most divorces are initiated by women in America.

 

minus one. On paper it looks as if I initiated it, but it was actually my ex-husband who did the paperwork. If someone went through to find the statistics, they'd actually be wrong. I'm told ours is a no-fault state so it doesn't matter who files. I didn't find out until we actually got to turning the paperwork in.

 

Of course, it also depends on how you look at things. If women are initiating the divorce procedures because their men are cheating -- really then, the men are initiating the divorce... But who knows, really?

[kimberlydoll]

minus one. On paper it looks as if I initiated it, but it was actually my ex-husband who did the paperwork. If someone went through to find the statistics, they'd actually be wrong. I'm told ours is a no-fault state so it doesn't matter who files. I didn't find out until we actually got to turning the paperwork in.

 

Of course, it also depends on how you look at things. If women are initiating the divorce procedures because their men are cheating -- really then, the men are initiating the divorce... But who knows, really?

 

Women initiating most divorces doesnt mean much to me. Men are much more content to stay in a bad marriage due to fear of divorce or they look for some on the side

 

I gotta agree with ninja, telling the truth on this site is viewed as cynical

 

Also, I will NEVER be submissive. Men who say they want submissive women tend to be controlling or manipulative. They view women as sock puppets or always need their way. I give equally or at least I have in my past relationships but I wont ever be somebody's doormat

Edited February 26, 2013 by kimberlydoll

[dasein]

Perhpas thsi is where the disconnect comes in because women seem to overrate a womens looks and underrate a guys looks so to her shell give the nod to the women looks wise in most cases

 

In that picture the guy is clearly better looking then the the girl imo

 

Yep, that's a well-known and generally true generalization. Women generally overestimate female looks and underestimate male. In the pics the girl is average, the man well above average in facial structure at least.

 

I hear it constantly out and about so and so couple is "well-matched." They may be well-matched, but the man is very often much better looking than the woman and the reverse is rarely the case unless the guy is rich. It's also common to hear women starting the "she could do better in the looks department than him." Men rarely start this talk and ironically, IME when women start this, the guy is actually objectively better looking than the girl.

 

Go to brunches with lots of women, you will hear it all

[kimberlydoll]

This is what I've seen and experienced with my own eyes, being a man, being amongst them....obviously some of you ladies trust what a man will tell you to your face even if it's exposed right in front of your eyes.

 

And women wonder why they're so "confused" when they constantly deny any reality of it.

 

I dont trust anything a man says. And the thing is, most men say things to manipulate women so I have def put some guys in my past in line in calling them out on their bull**** and some didnt like that I could see right through them. Talk is cheap, I judge everything by actions

[mesmerized]

It's not only men who this. In fact, I think women do it just as much if not more. However men's motives might be more sex-oriented whereas women's is more companionship-oriented. Some women just hate to be single. They can't function on their own and without constantly being helped and admired so they go for the what they can get while still keeping their options open.

 

And no, I don't believe men or women will always take the better deal if it comes along. Sure, many times it's because of love, familiarity or being set in their relationship. But often times it's because they still have to stay reasonable and choose what they can handle the best. A guy that's a 3 is pretty lucky to be with a 7, unless he is very confident or rich or something, it wouldn't be very smart of him to leave her for a 10 even if he does get the chance. Let's face it, what are the chances of him being able to keep that 10 and deal with all the competition that come with her anyway? The difference in attractiveness is not always worth the headache.

[Ninjainpajamas]

Your postings are always enjoyable, but you too often speak in riddles...you say you know the truth about most men, but never fully explain the full truth. SO what is the truth with regards to the subject of this thread?

 

I definitely speak in riddles not delving very deeply into exactly what I'm talking about. Partly because the time and amount of text it would take to explain it and because I'm not even sure this is the proper place and the format for it, I'm derailing threads by hitting on things I think are important or relevant as it is. And then again how many people are willing to read it? much less even consider it? especially when emotionally persuaded to deny much of it due to their own "personal experience and perspective".

 

You have to realize that even if I made a lot of "general" statements about men, which I definitely do and of course in a light focusing on one dimension of men or even some or most men...people like to be treated as individuals and have their romances considered case by case than part of a greater picture...no matter how much is common or redundant.

 

So even if I'm 80 percent right off the bat, or even overall or "generally right"...someone will throw some small and minute detail to derail the whole argument, one wrong word that doesn't mirror up to your exact situation and you can easily disassociate it with yourself and your own romantic relationships. So I'd have to carefully assess each and every persons relationship to be truly affective, validate their emotions, show that I understand and get it as people like to be heard not just told (as many may believe I do not get it sometimes), and then lay on the advice...which to their surprise is the same either way.

 

But people need that step by step breakdown, I "attack" a lot of arguments so therefore I expect a lot of resistance...people need things in stages so that they can accept and feel understood because as of now many would dismiss it as having some kind of vendetta or holding onto some bitterness therefore people make judgments based on just that perception at times whether it's valid or not...when I "generalize" much of whatever I say can easily be dismissed or excused if it's not down to the miniscule detail right on...If bobby likes brown instead of green then clearly the rest of my case is unjustified for some people. And the more I say, the more I'll sound like I don't know "anything about their relationship" especially as most people don't reveal a whole lot of pertinent information in the first place....they speak in a broad stroke yet when I reply in a broad stroke somehow I am less "accurate" or truthful...as If I'm not reaching far and beyond the normal reaches of most people in making so many assessments from so little information many people reveal in their posts as it is.

 

I'm confident that If everyone posted all the information I needed on their particular romantic scenario and situation and I was able to ask questions I'd nail every one of them down to that persons satisfaction...I just know men that well, and I know women, just not as well as men...after all I've spent a lifetime around men of all kinds. Sometimes women still surprise me in some cases...especially when men are so often ridiculed and judged for their behavior when a woman's can be just as deceitful or heartless...yet you always see many women play the victims, even if they are the abusers or perpetrators in a romance. I can misjudge women as the victims when they are not, they just have their own agenda/desire.

 

So the truth of the subject title is that much of what the OP is in fact very true in many, many cases. She was not being in the slightest cynical about it.

 

She saw a pattern, realized the truth and was able to justify it by taking into consideration what these men (friends) were expressing honestly (which is not always common as men like to retain a facade and save face but have no problems acting like the victim). There are men who vent their disappointment in their marriages but that's usually to their mistresses or women they have romantic interest in...which I don't even want to get into that.

 

Most men lack confidence and the skill set to really get the woman they are longing for and they are not at the peak of their confidence or personal success. Women are much more flexible in their expectations than men are especially as they age (however not all), unless said men is on the end of the spectrum where they do not have hardly any options....after all beggars can't be choosers. However some people are just flat at delusional.

 

How can you be so confident that a man is fully satisfied with you if he is not satisfied with himself and his life?

 

You don't hear from many successful men and the "players"/casanovas/ladiez men (most of whom would be attempting to flirt or gain romantic interest in the women here btw) sitting on the forums with any relevant experience lending a helping hand, those guys are in it for themselves, plus the whole point in being one of those guys above is not being easily exposed...you mainly see middle of the road, not so experienced, struggling average guys mostly, peppered in with some married men and random guys looking for advice....and let's be honest, most of these guys many of whom women wouldn't have much romantic interest in without getting to know them first.

 

I hate to spell things out for people, especially when I feel the truth is right in front of their face...I definitely feel like people are their own worst enemy. People need to learn to consider any and all arguments, even the ones that come off negative and pessimistic, so that you can realistically assess your relationship in a balanced light instead of an emotional one.

 

I'm not looking for anything in return here, I'm just voicing my opinion and experience...I try to give people advice that is practical and they'd use "out in the field" and most of it is to protect yourself, knowledge is power, and the more you understand men the less inclined you may feel to invest in a man that will lead you nowhere. I think women don't have the luxury that men do in terms of time, men can relax and develop in their careers and bloom later, women are regarded for their youth and beauty above all else by most men. It would be wise to heed the advice of a man who knows how those men think that would take the greatest advantage of your emotions and time...even if you don't necessarily run into them, women would be surprised how many bullets they've dodged when they think they just didn't get lucky...many men are out there with nothing to do but take.

 

Many men with a slightest understanding of women will be playing the field out there with it and using it to their greatest advantage. So don't ever take anything at face value, always remember men are not open and telling the truth, they are always hiding the biggest things in the background, anything they offer you is a diversion...keep your heads out of the clouds, the things a man says to your face is not what he says behind your back or to his friends, never assume you always know how a many feels and thinks, always take things with a grain of salt. Until a man is consistent and proves he is trustworthy never give him your whole heart and trust, never expect a man to love you the way you love him just because you feel like it's there and something special. I know plenty of guys who would take advantage of that if they have the ability to, so imagine that guys who do have it.

 

This is also shown with the "nice guys", once they get to know you, and you give them that confidence boost...sometimes you create a monster, now this guy thinks he can go out and "play the field" because he thinks he's hot stuff now.

 

I'm sorry ladies, but you just can't trust men....they'd rather avoid conflict, tell you what you want to hear, or only be honest about some things. They're not completely honest and open emotionally and they'll just lead you walk the red carpet of love you so readily and willingly lay out, they basically just have to hold your hand.

 

Communication is your only method of fully understanding a man, and why do you think men avoid communicating? hmmmmm, you think they're just non-expressive? then why don't I have any problems?

[123321]

minus one.

 

Plus one. My ex moved out and after 6 months of asking her to come back, I filed.

[123321]

Also, I will NEVER be submissive. Men who say they want submissive women tend to be controlling or manipulative. They view women as sock puppets or always need their way. I give equally or at least I have in my past relationships but I wont ever be somebody's doormat

 

People who don't understand what it means to be submissive often say things like that. My GF is submissive, but that doesn't make her a doormat or devoid of opinions, and she's no sock puppet by any means.