ltjg45 Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 So then what should the man do if he can't get the girl he really wants, the girl he doesn't consider settling? As for a girl settling for me? I really wouldn't care, as long as I was attracted and liked who she was. Frankly though, most women can get whomever they want so they wouldn't have to settle unless they were considered undesirable by most men. This is also not considering the fact that, for the male, the females he really wants has different dating prospects to begin with and he can't measure up to that. Now, while I'm confident in saying that a female can look beyond that, they don't have to. If the females he really wants is simply not attracted to him, there's little more he can do. So the female that she claims he is settling for may very well be his "dream girl". The best he really can get and that he is grateful for that and will treasure it as much as he possibly can. Everything has a limit in life, no matter how much further we want to push it. This goes for the dating game as well.
Mme. Chaucer Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 In any case, I often wonder about the claims made on LS about the amazing psychic powers that women somehow possess. That they can somehow sense if a guy is a desperate loser or if he is only with her because he thinks she's the best he can get, even if he does his best to hide it or pretend otherwise. It has nothing to do with psychic powers. It has to do with a modicum of emotional intelligence and a basic ability to understand what's going on with another person once you spend enough time with them. Like, actually knowing someone. Is this an obscure concept to you? And yet, women can't sense if a guy is a dangerous jerk/abuser/cheater/whatever. They date them because they get fooled by their witty charm or something. Or, more likely, because they are attracted to the edgy sense of danger. Unhealthy, but often attractive to many women. Seems like nature played a cruel joke: women have a sixth sense about a guy's true feelings, but not if he's a really dangerous guy. Only if he's settling or a desperate loser. Weird... I think you're just being deliberately obtuse. Being able to "sense" that a guy is a desperate loser or that he does not really cherish us is pretty normal. To the guys who always say, "duh, like I'd ever tell a girl I have no friends, no interests, and I'm only dating her because she's the only one who would go out with me" - well … how's that theory actually working out for you in real life? Here is the bottom line: dating is supposed to be a time to get to know someone - someone who had something about them that interested and attracted you enough to want to do it. Or, maybe even a time of social experimenting where not too much attraction is required - but if you're an honest person, a relationship won't happen just because you "can get" someone to do that with you. If people who are dating grow to like each other very much and you're compatible, you might become a couple. If you think to yourself, "I don't like this person very much, and their body disgusts me with that extra pudge, but this is the best I can get so I will stick with them" then you are a jerk IMO - not ANY better than the so - called "bad boys" that y'all are always claiming that women prefer to the self identified "nice guys." No less of a user. And the unfortunate recipient of this … begrudging acquiescence to being with them? has no need of extrasensory perception to realize this. Honest.
ltjg45 Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 Perhpas thsi is where the disconnect comes in because women seem to overrate a womens looks and underrate a guys looks so to her shell give the nod to the women looks wise in most cases In that picture the guy is clearly better looking then the the girl imo I'm a male and I can't say that. While he "could" go for a better-looking female, they are both about equal looks-wise. Unfortunately, males who look like him is FAR rarer than females that look like her so, yeah, he can swing for higher if he wanted to....but comparing those 2? Yeah. Equal looks. 2
Author kimberlydoll Posted February 25, 2013 Author Posted February 25, 2013 Perhpas thsi is where the disconnect comes in because women seem to overrate a womens looks and underrate a guys looks so to her shell give the nod to the women looks wise in most cases In that picture the guy is clearly better looking then the the girl imo Its hard to tell since he provided one pic of the guy and hes in shadows And I dont always give the nod to a woman, thats ridiculous.
Estate Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 So then what should the man do if he can't get the girl he really wants, the girl he doesn't consider settling? As for a girl settling for me? I really wouldn't care, as long as I was attracted and liked who she was. Frankly though, most women can get whomever they want so they wouldn't have to settle unless they were considered undesirable by most men. They just take what they can get, So many guys (99%) of my friends never actively sought out the girl of their dreams, never dates and goes out to actively meet lots of girls, then when one girl comes along... he shrugs his shoulders and stays with her. My old room-mate is laughable. He used to put everyone down about having girlfriends, it was so lame, look at all the lovey dovey crap on facebook, I'm going drinking.... He struct out every time though so it was just sour grapes but he kept telling us how how he only liked a certain kind of girl, has big standards. Needless to say, he got lucky one night and clung to the same girl for the past 2 years. She's unattractive, treats him like sh*t and she gets away with it because he's so desperate not to break up with her and be alone. It's sad really.
Ninjainpajamas Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 I'm guessing you've never had a man crazy in love with you? It's a wonderful feeling, honey, and once you experience it you won't be making these blanket judgments about men. It really is amazing. Once you experience feeling like a mans dream woman you will understand that with the right person, you are one another's dream person in a dream relationship. These two above are from the typical "in love" bandwagon, you'll see this in the initial stages of a romantic relationship, before the real relationship has had an opportunity to form...so take that with a grain of salt as many of these women end up back here in six months singing a different tune. Or I'm sorry "going through ups and downs". I think some people date people they are initially attracted to sexually, but that the personalities don't click. For example, me and my boyfriend get along really well and we TALK a lot, about everything. We're really close, and although we've been together five years we still are very much in love and very happy, we have sex regularly and cuddle all the time. I feel supremely happy with him. Of course, there are things he does that annoy me but that's just the type of stuff that comes from dating a real person, and I'm sure I annoy him sometimes too. I've been told I'm pretty and I get flirted with occassionally, but no one could ever compare to my boyfriend. There is no chance that I would ever leave him, and i really don't think he'd leave me if something "better" came along. Better looking girls exist, for sure, but we are attracted to one another's personalities. I think a lot of people don't have that, so they never really feel deep love for their partner. I think if a guy is dating a girl he doesn't really love on a deep level, then as soon as he gets comfortable and another "new" and "exciting" girl comes along, he will leave. Mostly because the attachment he has to his current gf will probably be the same level of attachment to the new gf. However, real love isn't everywhere. I think it is a rare thing to find someone you really connect with and love deeply. That's why i would never ever trade my boyfriend in.. and physically, he looks a lot like Adrian Brody, so some girls probalby thing he's weird looking cause he's tall, and thin, and has a big nose that is crooked. But when I look at him I just think he is the most attractive man in the whole world... I'm not the most beautiful thing ever, either, but my boyfriend is always telling me I'm pretty, or that he loves my hands and my face and my this and that, so I think it's just like if you really love someone deeply then you see them as really beautiful. This how the typical scenario unfolds after sometime. She likely has no idea of what the man feels or where he stands. If you notice women are usually phenomenally more happy and satisfied than a man will express. She'll come out with all these comparisons where "even though my boyfriends doesn't have this or he's not a model..he's just perfect for me" yadda yadda yadda, this is just a woman's way of emotionally rationalizing a situation because they want this facade or picture of perfectness...even though the disclaimer will always be "well nothing is perfect, everything takes work" which is to try and scape-goat any delusional thoughts or implications they are clearly exuding within their exuberant posts on their relationships. Just take notice how many men talk like this versus women. Women will say "well men don't express themselves in the same way" but there are other ways to tell when a man is truly invested and emotionally on that level...and guess? that's what most of these women fail to exude, sometimes they'll make this happy go lucky post and then they'll post about something lacking in their relationship and it's ridiculously clear as a man that he is nowhere at her level...but for a woman, what she feels, sees and thinks is happening is generally all that counts. Which is often why they are so often blind-sided, they don't expand their awareness, they don't have the level of communication anywhere near they think they do with their partner...because they talk about "everything", supposedly. I often hear "I know my man better than you do, I know how he feels" We'll see about that. I assume an intelligent guy would keep that fact a secret. That's usually the smart way to go... Any competent man retains the facade, because most men elude confrontation and particular conversations, skim over them or put them on hold. It's a way of a man stringing out a situation and avoiding the land mines that women beckon him to step on. Men know better and learn because they got kicked in the balls the last few times they did, women don't realize how easy they are to figure out...they lead you on to a corner to say something, therefore most men are going to lie or put on a facade and even though women's intuition tells them something is wrong, they'd rather live in denial and pretend they're just wrong in some way and thinking stupid, they fault their own instinct and intelligence for the sake of the man...so they don't have to face the truth and they put up with these ridiculous lies that only a love fool could believe. Yeah that is insane. I cant imagine being married to someone Im not attracted to. I once tried to date a guy I wasnt attracted to when I was young and after 3 months I felt I was going insane. I dont think Ill end up that way- I actually like being single so if I never got married it wouldnt make me desperate in that way. Maninthebox, I wasnt insulting you. You just put into words better what I was thinking You're not a man either...you don't necessarily have to. Many men will date women they aren't attracted to...if that's the best they can get. Sometimes it's just sexual, or for companionship, and not to be alone. Many men unlike women don't have the luxury of just being able to sleep with someone better looking than themselves for the sake of sex and attention. Vagina is a powerful thing for men, it gets them in lots of situations they would logically or competently not realistically want to to do otherwise. What do you think your average guy is going to do once he starts getting some vagina? he's going to be excited about the prospect, especially if she's half of what he's looking for. Men who are desirable are lucky enough to be more like averagely attractive women and can kind of pick and choose here and there and not have to worry about a long dry spell, and they're very lucky if they have it all together and can get exactly what they want and are looking for...most men cannot do that and realize that. Women are dating men for relationships, men are dating women and typically working their way up the ladder. Not many men are settled at the top and comfortable with themselves and just freely with no pressure turn away what they're not that interested in and hold out for that special someone...most guys are going to take what they can get, then string that girl along until the next thing. And based on the guy, he might not even have all that high of expectations....if you're young and hot, then it's a done deal, he'll take a baby-maker and conformist. But the more capable he is, the higher the standards will be. When men are ready to settle down, they can also take a partner quite fast and all those expectations can get thrown out the window. Men and women have a sense of urgency to get married and have a family, and those two people meet things that can go quite smoothy for a while. That is suh a negative way to look at things. If that is your logic then technically everyone is always settling. How many people do you know that have thurr dream house, or their dream job, or their dream car? More likely than not, life would just be one big sucky settle. You can look at life like you said, or you can do what most normal people do and feel lucky and blessed to have such things in general, even of thy aren't heir "dream". People aren't settling... People are just living. The truth of the matter is most people are in fact settling in their own minds. People often "give up" before they reach their goals or finding that person who they truly felt was the right person, instead just try and make it work regardless. The wise ones find a balance between what is realistic and what is fantasy. And if you're very wise you realize that you're trying to fill a void within yourself by using something else to fill that, they expect too much from another human being. You are ultimately in your life going to have to face the things that don't make you feel at peace and content, instead of chasing that carrot on a stick. People foolishly think this is all accomplished within a romantic partner, that's just one facet of life. You may have kids, and that's a different kind of love, many even argue more profound. You may become a grandparent and maybe even raise or take care of others. Life changes and evolves, it's a shame people put so much into their romantic lives and others when they should be repairing themselves. I can get all philosophical about this sh11t but I'll stop there...life is just being done wrong though, and love is supposed to be the big patch for it all. Good luck with that folks! 1
Author kimberlydoll Posted February 25, 2013 Author Posted February 25, 2013 Women are dating men for relationships, men are dating women and typically working their way up the ladder. Not many men are settled at the top and comfortable with themselves and just freely with no pressure turn away what they're not that interested in and hold out for that special someone...most guys are going to take what they can get, then string that girl along until the next thing. People foolishly think this is all accomplished within a romantic partner, that's just one facet of life. You may have kids, and that's a different kind of love, many even argue more profound. You may become a grandparent and maybe even raise or take care of others. Life changes and evolves, it's a shame people put so much into their romantic lives and others when they should be repairing themselves. I can get all philosophical about this sh11t but I'll stop there...life is just being done wrong though, and love is supposed to be the big patch for it all. Good luck with that folks! I love what you wrote. Thanks so much!
ltjg45 Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 Women are dating men for relationships, men are dating women and typically working their way up the ladder. Not many men are settled at the top and comfortable with themselves and just freely with no pressure turn away what they're not that interested in and hold out for that special someone...most guys are going to take what they can get, then string that girl along until the next thing. That sounds like a bastard, not a man. Anyone who does this is nothing more than a glorified player. I hope a self-respecting woman actually comes and put him in his place. To think I'm reading this makes me sick. To actually treat women as if they are pegs on a corporate ladder. I have more value and respect to women than that. 1
123321 Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 Because its not fair to the woman. Im pretty sure youd feel ****ty about yourself if your girlfriend settled for you and honestly was with you because nobody better would want her. Unless you are devoid of emotions Some women (and men too) are very lacking in emotional intelligence but there are ones out there that have alot of it. I know many women that do I'm pretty sure my GF settled for me, but I'm thrilled she did. She's beautiful, smart, a good cook and as a bonus she does most of the laundry. We enjoy the time we spend together. If or when she un-settles I'll sure miss her. 1
xxoo Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 Just take notice how many men talk like this versus women. Women will say "well men don't express themselves in the same way" but there are other ways to tell when a man is truly invested and emotionally on that level.. Instead of focusing on the negative (guys who settle), women should focus on the positive, like the bolded part above. There are ways to tell when a man is truly emotionally invested. Actions speak louder than words. When a man is crazy about you, and wants a future with you, he makes it known! 6
Drseussgrrl Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 These two above are from the typical "in love" bandwagon, you'll see this in the initial stages of a romantic relationship, before the real relationship has had an opportunity to form...so take that with a grain of salt as many of these women end up back here in six months singing a different tune. Or I'm sorry "going through ups and downs". This how the typical scenario unfolds after sometime. She likely has no idea of what the man feels or where he stands. If you notice women are usually phenomenally more happy and satisfied than a man will express. She'll come out with all these comparisons where "even though my boyfriends doesn't have this or he's not a model..he's just perfect for me" yadda yadda yadda, this is just a woman's way of emotionally rationalizing a situation because they want this facade or picture of perfectness...even though the disclaimer will always be "well nothing is perfect, everything takes work" which is to try and scape-goat any delusional thoughts or implications they are clearly exuding within their exuberant posts on their relationships. Just take notice how many men talk like this versus women. Women will say "well men don't express themselves in the same way" but there are other ways to tell when a man is truly invested and emotionally on that level...and guess? that's what most of these women fail to exude, sometimes they'll make this happy go lucky post and then they'll post about something lacking in their relationship and it's ridiculously clear as a man that he is nowhere at her level...but for a woman, what she feels, sees and thinks is happening is generally all that counts. Which is often why they are so often blind-sided, they don't expand their awareness, they don't have the level of communication anywhere near they think they do with their partner...because they talk about "everything", supposedly. I often hear "I know my man better than you do, I know how he feels" We'll see about that. Any competent man retains the facade, because most men elude confrontation and particular conversations, skim over them or put them on hold. It's a way of a man stringing out a situation and avoiding the land mines that women beckon him to step on. Men know better and learn because they got kicked in the balls the last few times they did, women don't realize how easy they are to figure out...they lead you on to a corner to say something, therefore most men are going to lie or put on a facade and even though women's intuition tells them something is wrong, they'd rather live in denial and pretend they're just wrong in some way and thinking stupid, they fault their own instinct and intelligence for the sake of the man...so they don't have to face the truth and they put up with these ridiculous lies that only a love fool could believe. You're not a man either...you don't necessarily have to. Many men will date women they aren't attracted to...if that's the best they can get. Sometimes it's just sexual, or for companionship, and not to be alone. Many men unlike women don't have the luxury of just being able to sleep with someone better looking than themselves for the sake of sex and attention. Vagina is a powerful thing for men, it gets them in lots of situations they would logically or competently not realistically want to to do otherwise. What do you think your average guy is going to do once he starts getting some vagina? he's going to be excited about the prospect, especially if she's half of what he's looking for. Men who are desirable are lucky enough to be more like averagely attractive women and can kind of pick and choose here and there and not have to worry about a long dry spell, and they're very lucky if they have it all together and can get exactly what they want and are looking for...most men cannot do that and realize that. Women are dating men for relationships, men are dating women and typically working their way up the ladder. Not many men are settled at the top and comfortable with themselves and just freely with no pressure turn away what they're not that interested in and hold out for that special someone...most guys are going to take what they can get, then string that girl along until the next thing. And based on the guy, he might not even have all that high of expectations....if you're young and hot, then it's a done deal, he'll take a baby-maker and conformist. But the more capable he is, the higher the standards will be. When men are ready to settle down, they can also take a partner quite fast and all those expectations can get thrown out the window. Men and women have a sense of urgency to get married and have a family, and those two people meet things that can go quite smoothy for a while. The truth of the matter is most people are in fact settling in their own minds. People often "give up" before they reach their goals or finding that person who they truly felt was the right person, instead just try and make it work regardless. The wise ones find a balance between what is realistic and what is fantasy. And if you're very wise you realize that you're trying to fill a void within yourself by using something else to fill that, they expect too much from another human being. You are ultimately in your life going to have to face the things that don't make you feel at peace and content, instead of chasing that carrot on a stick. People foolishly think this is all accomplished within a romantic partner, that's just one facet of life. You may have kids, and that's a different kind of love, many even argue more profound. You may become a grandparent and maybe even raise or take care of others. Life changes and evolves, it's a shame people put so much into their romantic lives and others when they should be repairing themselves. I can get all philosophical about this sh11t but I'll stop there...life is just being done wrong though, and love is supposed to be the big patch for it all. Good luck with that folks! LOL - I'm not in love. But I have been and still believe in it. 2
Ninjainpajamas Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 LOL - I'm not in love. But I have been and still believe in it. That's exactly what I would expect a woman in denial to say!
Drseussgrrl Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 That's exactly what I would expect a woman in denial to say! In denial about what?
Author kimberlydoll Posted February 25, 2013 Author Posted February 25, 2013 I'm pretty sure my GF settled for me, but I'm thrilled she did. She's beautiful, smart, a good cook and as a bonus she does most of the laundry. We enjoy the time we spend together. If or when she un-settles I'll sure miss her. Why did she settle? Do you have nothing to offer or is she just your hot slave? I dont mean to be crass but I find thats what many men expect nowadays. Even though we work full time like you, we still must be hot and must be your slave when we're not working. I hate that kind of arrangement. You prob have some good qualities as well (hopefully) 1
xxoo Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 LOL - I'm not in love. But I have been and still believe in it. Love is real. I do think some people have more capacity for it than others--feeling it, giving it, nurturing it, etc. 2
Mme. Chaucer Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 People might be better at hiding emotions then you think. I speak from personal experience here, I'm not proud of it but there were stages of my relationship when I really was not happy and felt like it was mediocre at best. I'm not sure how much realized that this was happening as I am pretty 'good' at internalizing problems like these sometimes. It is my first relationship and I just really did not know what to do with these feelings without hurting her. Luckily things have changed for the better and she is aware now of that bad period between us. But I still wonder whether she was really aware of the extent of these feelings. I know that people can hide stuff - and also that sometimes we have a clue that all's not as we'd like it to be so we willfully don't look at the clues. On the other hand, in an LTR there are always ups and downs. When in a "down," at times the wise thing to do is to hold steady without bringing everything to light. I believe that most relationships have periods where one or the other is questioning a lot. That's got to be different than a person just pretending to like another person so they don't have to be alone, or to get sex or diamond rings or a career advancement. That really is using people.
RedRobin Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 Id say the guys of a higher league and could def land hotter babes. Not that the girl is unattractive...she is attractive...I just think guys that look like him can easily get sexier girls. They look about equally matched in appearance from a picture. I helped out with casting on a major movie one time... people IRL don't always look like their pics... just like OLD ha ha. Eva Mendez... photogenic (but I'm a girl, so don't ask me). Ryan Gosling... looks better in person (but still pretty cute in pics!) seriously... some people are just flat out photogenic, but to see them in person is like 'meh'.
123321 Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 Why did she settle? .... You prob have some good qualities as well (hopefully) I suppose so, she seems to think so but honestly I feel she's slumming, but that's OK for me. I think a lot of the problems people have in relationships stem from the idea that "having" the other person is like having a mortgage or title to a boat. We never really (hopefully) own another person, we are always together by mutual ongoing consent. Losing sight of that leads to taking the other for granted, and the eventual end of the relationship in many cases. So no, I don't see in me what she seems to see in me, but I'm happy that she's happy and hope things stay this way as long as possible. If things change, we need to simply accept that and remain thankful for the time we had. My $0.02
Mme. Chaucer Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 These two above are from the typical "in love" bandwagon, you'll see this in the initial stages of a romantic relationship, before the real relationship has had an opportunity to form...so take that with a grain of salt I must agree with you here. I don't feel like the most beautiful woman in the world or like my husband is crazy in love with me. Deeply in love with me, yes indeed. And that he loves everything about me, even the un-pretty stuff - yes. The rest of your post I don't agree with. I have several relationships as well as failed attempts at relationships in my past, and I really truly knew when a man was not interested in me at a deep level regardless of how he acted on the surface - which often was extremely ardent. If I wanted it to be a "real" thing, I might choose to pretend I wasn't picking up on this - but I was.
RedRobin Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 These two above are from the typical "in love" bandwagon, you'll see this in the initial stages of a romantic relationship, before the real relationship has had an opportunity to form...so take that with a grain of salt as many of these women end up back here in six months singing a different tune. Or I'm sorry "going through ups and downs". This how the typical scenario unfolds after sometime. She likely has no idea of what the man feels or where he stands. If you notice women are usually phenomenally more happy and satisfied than a man will express. She'll come out with all these comparisons where "even though my boyfriends doesn't have this or he's not a model..he's just perfect for me" yadda yadda yadda, this is just a woman's way of emotionally rationalizing a situation because they want this facade or picture of perfectness...even though the disclaimer will always be "well nothing is perfect, everything takes work" which is to try and scape-goat any delusional thoughts or implications they are clearly exuding within their exuberant posts on their relationships. Just take notice how many men talk like this versus women. Women will say "well men don't express themselves in the same way" but there are other ways to tell when a man is truly invested and emotionally on that level...and guess? that's what most of these women fail to exude, sometimes they'll make this happy go lucky post and then they'll post about something lacking in their relationship and it's ridiculously clear as a man that he is nowhere at her level...but for a woman, what she feels, sees and thinks is happening is generally all that counts. Which is often why they are so often blind-sided, they don't expand their awareness, they don't have the level of communication anywhere near they think they do with their partner...because they talk about "everything", supposedly. I often hear "I know my man better than you do, I know how he feels" We'll see about that. Any competent man retains the facade, because most men elude confrontation and particular conversations, skim over them or put them on hold. It's a way of a man stringing out a situation and avoiding the land mines that women beckon him to step on. Men know better and learn because they got kicked in the balls the last few times they did, women don't realize how easy they are to figure out...they lead you on to a corner to say something, therefore most men are going to lie or put on a facade and even though women's intuition tells them something is wrong, they'd rather live in denial and pretend they're just wrong in some way and thinking stupid, they fault their own instinct and intelligence for the sake of the man...so they don't have to face the truth and they put up with these ridiculous lies that only a love fool could believe. You're not a man either...you don't necessarily have to. Many men will date women they aren't attracted to...if that's the best they can get. Sometimes it's just sexual, or for companionship, and not to be alone. Many men unlike women don't have the luxury of just being able to sleep with someone better looking than themselves for the sake of sex and attention. Vagina is a powerful thing for men, it gets them in lots of situations they would logically or competently not realistically want to to do otherwise. What do you think your average guy is going to do once he starts getting some vagina? he's going to be excited about the prospect, especially if she's half of what he's looking for. Men who are desirable are lucky enough to be more like averagely attractive women and can kind of pick and choose here and there and not have to worry about a long dry spell, and they're very lucky if they have it all together and can get exactly what they want and are looking for...most men cannot do that and realize that. Women are dating men for relationships, men are dating women and typically working their way up the ladder. Not many men are settled at the top and comfortable with themselves and just freely with no pressure turn away what they're not that interested in and hold out for that special someone...most guys are going to take what they can get, then string that girl along until the next thing. And based on the guy, he might not even have all that high of expectations....if you're young and hot, then it's a done deal, he'll take a baby-maker and conformist. But the more capable he is, the higher the standards will be. When men are ready to settle down, they can also take a partner quite fast and all those expectations can get thrown out the window. Men and women have a sense of urgency to get married and have a family, and those two people meet things that can go quite smoothy for a while. The truth of the matter is most people are in fact settling in their own minds. People often "give up" before they reach their goals or finding that person who they truly felt was the right person, instead just try and make it work regardless. The wise ones find a balance between what is realistic and what is fantasy. And if you're very wise you realize that you're trying to fill a void within yourself by using something else to fill that, they expect too much from another human being. You are ultimately in your life going to have to face the things that don't make you feel at peace and content, instead of chasing that carrot on a stick. People foolishly think this is all accomplished within a romantic partner, that's just one facet of life. You may have kids, and that's a different kind of love, many even argue more profound. You may become a grandparent and maybe even raise or take care of others. Life changes and evolves, it's a shame people put so much into their romantic lives and others when they should be repairing themselves. I can get all philosophical about this sh11t but I'll stop there...life is just being done wrong though, and love is supposed to be the big patch for it all. Good luck with that folks! I enjoy reading your posts... but sometimes I think you are really full of yourself and don't have a f*cking clue. This is one of those times. 4
ThaWholigan Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 I enjoy reading your posts... but sometimes I think you are really full of yourself and don't have a f*cking clue. This is one of those times. Meh, it was cynical, but it wasn't too far away from the truth. 3
xxoo Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 Meh, it was cynical, but it wasn't too far away from the truth. The problem is that it only addressed one scenario: the scenario of the non-invested man. There is another scenario where the man truly is deeply in love. 4
Ninjainpajamas Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 I enjoy reading your posts... but sometimes I think you are really full of yourself and don't have a f*cking clue. This is one of those times. If telling the truth is taken as being cynical...then that's just what it is. How about you explain men to me and how they think and we'll go from there? I'd looove to hear it. Tell me how men feel, what they want, and why they don't want "relationships". Since so many others claim to believe different, I mean do you even know why, do you even have any basis for what you believe in otherwise from "reality"? This is what I've seen and experienced with my own eyes, being a man, being amongst them....obviously some of you ladies trust what a man will tell you to your face even if it's exposed right in front of your eyes. And women wonder why they're so "confused" when they constantly deny any reality of it. 3
ThaWholigan Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 The problem is that it only addressed one scenario: the scenario of the non-invested man. There is another scenario where the man truly is deeply in love. He addressed it because nobody else will - even I often don't, seeing as I'm all fuzzy and positive .
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