angell11 Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 Psychiatrist says hes 80% sure and there is a very high probability she will try to come back. I think she has way to much pride and she is a lost sole. He saw her twice in person and watches the buttons she is trying to push. How do I take this advice? Does he really think that
Balzac Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 Saw her twice in what capacity? A full psychological testing regime in which he wrote the summary and issued a diagnosis?
carhill Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 Welcome to LS More information is needed to understand the relationship. I'd take the 'advice' of the psychiatrist as a layperson's opinion. IMO, giving out such 'advice' is not within the perview of his/her profession.
Yasuandio Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 The only way I could imaging a Therapist/Phych making such a prediction would only be if he knew of this pattern of behavior in the past.
Author angell11 Posted February 25, 2013 Author Posted February 25, 2013 basically she attended two visits with me and he let her explain her side of our marrige and was able to see her expressions. She is contacting my brother to see his kids. Still trying to interact with my cousins. Changed her mind about settling. She is acting like this divorce is a very minor set back by showing no emotions. Took her 3 weeks to give me my house keys back and loan booklet for house remodel after I asked her 3 times. She was late on the payment which that is the only piect of paperwork she was responsible for in our marriage. She is showing $38 reciepts etc. very petty reciepts she thinks I owe her. Comminting on why you close the garage door now. She is posting very happy pics on facebook with her friends. Signed divorce papers on Valentines day. Took a trip to Hawaii with her girlfriends after cancelling on me and family for our vacation in Novermber the day before do to learning her new job which she had plenty of time to do research I supported her being its a new begging and great opportunity for her and us. We do not contact one another. She also tells me she loves me so much and cannot see herself without me but doesn't know what she wants. Therefore after 10 I don't know what I wants I made a decision for her. She just got a new job 3 months ago and we have had marriage problems for 1-1/2 but instead of wanting to work on our marriage she is more worried about remodelling our house. She says she wants to be fair in settling but has changed her mind 3 times I told what was fair was for you to work on your marriage and I let her take whatever she wanted in the house and helped her and her little army move everything out.
Author angell11 Posted February 25, 2013 Author Posted February 25, 2013 She keeps asking why do we get back to this point in our marriage and my answer to that is because we need to work together not worry about this house or visiting friends and take some alone time to be intamit. My psychiatrist does know enough from each side to make that prediction. He also has spoke to her counselor several times to be on the same page. we had six sessions with her independent counselor for actual marriage counseling since I agreed to go to her independent counselor since my wife was confortable with her. I was accused all I did was agrue with the counselor while I wanted to get to our deep issue not surface issues. Its like she really doesn't want to get to the bottom of things personal and marriage.
carhill Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 OP, can you accept that this psychiatrist's 'prediction' has already altered the efficacy of your therapy dynamic? You're making statements and imputing potentials based upon that 'prediction', which an otherwise neutral and disinterested third party would have never set into motion. I'm not questioning you, but rather the therapeutic process and professional separation. The more I'm reading, the more my opinion is that a change in therapy dynamic is indicated. As an example, your wife's IC taking on the marriage as a client (MC) was IMO completely out of line professionally due to conflict of interest. IC is about the person, irrespective of any other dynamic, and in fact IC can be damaging to other dynamics as a byproduct of the therapy process. That IC should have refused and referred. If your wife doesn't wish to address the 'deep issues in the M, or agree with you that there are 'deep' issues or even discuss that subject, accept it and proceed in your own best interest. If your wife has left, file for divorce. IMO, women rarely 'leave' unless and until they're done and either have a replacement set up or a plan of action to implement for post-M. Either way, you're out. If she 'will try to come back in the future', address that potential in the future. Accept the now and act on the now.
Radu Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 Psychiatrist says hes 80% sure and there is a very high probability she will try to come back. I think she has way to much pride and she is a lost sole. He saw her twice in person and watches the buttons she is trying to push. How do I take this advice? Does he really think that That's a prediction ? Saying 'maybe x will happen if y will happen' ... that's not a prediction. A prediction is a certainty to some degree, that's more of a series of IF's. And you want that woman back ? The one who refuses to talk, who manipulates things and who doesn't know what she wants ? OP, can you accept that this psychiatrist's 'prediction' has already altered the efficacy of your therapy dynamic? You're making statements and imputing potentials based upon that 'prediction', which an otherwise neutral and disinterested third party would have never set into motion. I'm not questioning you, but rather the therapeutic process and professional separation. The more I'm reading, the more my opinion is that a change in therapy dynamic is indicated. As an example, your wife's IC taking on the marriage as a client (MC) was IMO completely out of line professionally due to conflict of interest. IC is about the person, irrespective of any other dynamic, and in fact IC can be damaging to other dynamics as a byproduct of the therapy process. That IC should have refused and referred. What the IC did was essentially sacrifice you OP to make her feel slightly better about herself. Together with her marriage. IC's goal is to make the client get better; MC has as goal making the marriage get better. If your wife doesn't wish to address the 'deep issues in the M, or agree with you that there are 'deep' issues or even discuss that subject, accept it and proceed in your own best interest. If your wife has left, file for divorce. IMO, women rarely 'leave' unless and until they're done and either have a replacement set up or a plan of action to implement for post-M. Either way, you're out. If she 'will try to come back in the future', address that potential in the future. Accept the now and act on the now. This, and stop harping about her coming back. The last thing you want is for her to return. You want someone who doesn't cause such emotional distress and knows what they want out of life. There are women like these, so go find one. And the moment you will find one, your ex-wife will show up. 1
ScienceGal Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 From the title I thought you were divorcing your psychiatrist I wouldn't put any stock into predictions, with or without "statistics". You're providing a professional (alleged) with your feelings and point of view. For them to use that and predict what they think someone else will do seems quite unprofessional and hokey to me. Therapy is about processing emotions and moving forward. It doesn't sound like that's what's going on here. I'd find a new therapist before the tarot cards and tea leaves come out... Or, make the decision within yourself to move on and tell your therapist this is the goal you want to focus on. Is it possible this was a small comment that you've blown out of proportion?
worldgonewrong Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 "80%"? Is he a bookie or a psychiatrist?
Recommended Posts