Cuse3NC44 Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 I meet 2 women online in the last 2 months that has lead to a few dates with each. I meet one (let's call her Jane) 1/15 and we meet for the first time on 1/26. The 2nd one (we'll call her Amy) I meet on 1/5 and we were supposed to meet for coffee on 1/12 but we had to postpone and finally meet on 1/27. I have gone out with both a couple of more times since. Things have progressed far enough with Amy that I want to focus on seeing where that goes. My problem is because of the timing of how the dates played out I agreed to a date with Jane before it became clear to me that Amy and I clicked more and that I wanted to step back and not continue dating multiple people. For me it's further complicated because Jane spent decent money on what we are supposed to do on this next date. Obviously I don't want to lead her on and I think that by going on the date that is exactly what I would be doing. So I know the right thing to do is to just tell be honest with her before the date - but the money thing weighs on me - and it probably shouldn't but it does. Any ideas?
IndianGuy87 Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 Stop leading one on and strictly choose to date the one who you click with. Just be honest with the other one and tell her that you're seeing someone else already. 1
Author Cuse3NC44 Posted February 25, 2013 Author Posted February 25, 2013 This was more of me laying out my thoughts and trying figure out the best way to handle - Just talked to Jane and let her know I had to cancel.
onlyjs Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 I frequently date multiple people and I don't think there is anything wrong with it if you are up-front from the beginning. I am a very assertive communicator, you never need to ask what I'm thinking and from your post, I gather that you are a little bit more concerned over feelings. At this point, there is not commitment, no relationship (title), so it should be really easy. What I would do is tell Jane, "Jane, I really enjoyed meeting you and getting to know you these past few weeks. I am sure you may be aware that I have also been fortunate enough to meet another woman online around the same time and I would like to continue to see her. I don't want you to think that I am leading you on or taking your effort for granted, so please tell me how much I can contribute to reimburse you for the money you spent on xxx." And then hang up. :-)
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