bluefairy812 Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 Breadcrumbs are just a way to f*ck with your progress. I haven't answered any of his messages but because of the fact he's reaching out to me asking we be friends and saying he's upset that I cut him off is really starting to get to me. Why would a person who has a girlfriend go out of their way to contact an ex to be "friends"? All of this to relieve guilt?
mcdo Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 Keep ignoring it. I got my own breadcrumbs today - delete, delete, delete. 2
richard9 Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 Breadcrumbs are just a way to f*ck with your progress. I haven't answered any of his messages but because of the fact he's reaching out to me asking we be friends and saying he's upset that I cut him off is really starting to get to me. Why would a person who has a girlfriend go out of their way to contact an ex to be "friends"? All of this to relieve guilt? well, pick yourself up, sounds like you've done so well not to respond to his text messages! and you said it yourself, he has a new girlfriend now, so there is no need for him to contact you at all. to answer your question, i dont think they realise how much they hurt us because they have never been hurt that bad before, and probably not allow themselves to be by falling so deep. so them asking to be friends is just a lack of understanding imo although if they do realise the pain then yes, an alleviation of guilt is more than likely. keep your head up, stay strong, and keep moving forward, dont let him drag you down, from the sounds of it he's done enough of that already. hope i helped 1
Author bluefairy812 Posted February 25, 2013 Author Posted February 25, 2013 Thanks to you both. I am at the brink of writing back and telling him to f*ck off and to leave me alone for the 100th time. 1
thekarmacist Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 he is a selfish person who is contacting you to assuage his guilt. this contact has to do with his own bad feelings and little to do with yours. don't respond. 2
mammasita Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 Why dont you block him? He's gonna continue to feed you crumbs as long as you let him contact you.
Author bluefairy812 Posted February 25, 2013 Author Posted February 25, 2013 Why dont you block him? He's gonna continue to feed you crumbs as long as you let him contact you. He's blocked on everything, fb, phone, etc. except my email. He owes me some cash though.
cavalier99 Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 Thanks to you both. I am at the brink of writing back and telling him to f*ck off and to leave me alone for the 100th time. This is hitting the point of really setting you back. It is time to tell him. His contact is not appreciated. To control himself and stop talking to you and that you don't think his girlfriend would appreciate his constant communication with you. If he doest stop you will need tot take other measures. We will not be friends ever. Good bye This should do the trick. Think of it this way. Lets say you had a new boyfriend who was great and you were very excited about. And your EX kept on calling while you where with the new boyfriend and he started to get concerned. And this communication could threaten your new RS. What would you tell your ex? Something like what i wrote above i bet or even stronger. Cav
Discarded2013 Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 he is a selfish person who is contacting you to assuage his guilt. this contact has to do with his own bad feelings and little to do with yours. don't respond. That is very true, then accuse you of things. So they can feel better about dumping you
Author bluefairy812 Posted February 25, 2013 Author Posted February 25, 2013 I don't know what he wants, but it definitely isn't to be with me. I Feel like I'm f*cked regardless, when he writes to me and if I answer him back. He always finds a way to contact me. he has even said to my family "why cant we just be adults and be friends." "I miss her and I wish we can do lunch". in his mind, its perfectly fine to be friends. I have told him we can't be friends SO many times! and we both told each other we are seeing other people. In fact, my last words to him as I was crying was "please don't call me anymore." That was in October and we haven't spoken since.... And at that point he said ok. So wtf is his issue? I'm no ones 2nd option. I just don't know what else to do at this point.
Author bluefairy812 Posted February 25, 2013 Author Posted February 25, 2013 Why isn't he blocked? He's blocked on everything the only reason I didn't block his email was because I was waiting for him to let me know when he was going to pay me back but at this point I'm considering blocking his email. 1
cavalier99 Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 I don't know what he wants, but it definitely isn't to be with me. I Feel like I'm f*cked regardless, when he writes to me and if I answer him back. He always finds a way to contact me. he has even said to my family "why cant we just be adults and be friends." "I miss her and I wish we can do lunch". in his mind, its perfectly fine to be friends. I have told him we can't be friends SO many times! and we both told each other we are seeing other people. In fact, my last words to him as I was crying was "please don't call me anymore." That was in October and we haven't spoken since.... And at that point he said ok. So wtf is his issue? I'm no ones 2nd option. I just don't know what else to do at this point. Did you read what i wrote again. Tell him to stop stalking you and that if it continues you will need to take other measure and that his communication is being documented. I'm not kidding
cavalier99 Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 He's blocked on everything the only reason I didn't block his email was because I was waiting for him to let me know when he was going to pay me back but at this point I'm considering blocking his email. Well there you go. Tell him his email is being blocked so no point communicating more. Then do it. Also why don't you change your email. Better solution.
Author bluefairy812 Posted February 25, 2013 Author Posted February 25, 2013 Well there you go. Tell him his email is being blocked so no point communicating more. Then do it. Also why don't you change your email. Better solution. Am I letting him win by answering him? This is the type of person who hates being ignored.
cavalier99 Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 Am I letting him win by answering him? This is the type of person who hates being ignored. Just change the email. The undeliverable. Message is sufficient answer.
Author bluefairy812 Posted February 26, 2013 Author Posted February 26, 2013 I did it. Blocked his email. Just realized that its still painful to talk to him. I realized also that It's between him and I. I chose to love myself and keep my sanity over replying to him and dealing with more drama. Those emails were enough to ruin my day. If he really wants something with me, he knows where to find me. 1
cavalier99 Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 Hey good for you! That is a huge step. I'm sure it will hurt for a bit so expect that this might not feel great at first. Those bread crumbs hurt but they are addicting. This is a big step but it is also a change knowing that you most likley won't be hearing from him. Its for the best beleive me! Hope your feeling better. Rock on. Cav
Thunderchild Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 I don't know what he wants, but it definitely isn't to be with me. I Feel like I'm f*cked regardless, when he writes to me and if I answer him back. He always finds a way to contact me. he has even said to my family "why cant we just be adults and be friends." "I miss her and I wish we can do lunch". in his mind, its perfectly fine to be friends. I have told him we can't be friends SO many times! and we both told each other we are seeing other people. In fact, my last words to him as I was crying was "please don't call me anymore." That was in October and we haven't spoken since.... And at that point he said ok. So wtf is his issue? I'm no ones 2nd option. I just don't know what else to do at this point. If he is persistently pestering you with attention you do not want - and have indicated to him that this is the case then threaten him with a harrassment charge - that'll cool his heels!
Thunderchild Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 Am I letting him win by answering him? This is the type of person who hates being ignored. Yes. Clamp down on him or he will keep coming back to hurt you. Think of him like malignant tumour - you either cut it out, or it will spread and cause you more pain!
Author bluefairy812 Posted February 26, 2013 Author Posted February 26, 2013 (edited) This is why full NC is so important. I'm down bc deep down inside i hoped and wished those breadcrumbs meant more and they are not meant in any other way besides wanting attention or relieving guilt. And anyone (not just men) that wants you in their life will make it happen. And it's been close to 8 months. All I have received are phone calls/texts (until i blocked his number) and then emails asking to be friends, until recently that he expressed how he was upset that I cut him off and that it wasn't cool I blocked his number. Edited February 26, 2013 by bluefairy812 1
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