Standard-Fare Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 (edited) I've had a rough go of it with my latest breakup and now find myself still dealing with the pain and repercussions over a year later. Granted, my healing would be further along if my ex hadn't let me back into his life in December, slept with me, and then abruptly shut down. Regardless of that, though, I've realized with shame that I may have entered into "crazy ex" territory. I mean, it's a year later and I still have not let go and I've made that pretty clear to him. I even found out he's dating someone new and I continued to be in contact, sending him an email suggesting we remain in touch. But this weekend I saw the light. I pictured things from his point of view, and imagined I could very well be the brunt of jokes with his new girlfriend. Any texts or emails I've sent, it's possible he's just deleted them instantly rather than carefully considering or absorbing them. Everything I've viewed as "trying to keep the doors open for someone I still care about" could be viewed as pushy or desperate from another perspective. That image of myself as "the crazy ex" and the potential brunt of a joke really filled me with shame. It was the wake-up call I needed to be like, "Wow, you're SO much better than this. You have more self-respect than this." So I deleted his phone number and all his texts and emails, and even put some child-lock settings on my computer lest I be tempted to visit certain sites, like his Facebook page. Somehow, recognizing that I was playing the fool really empowered me. Hopefully the real healing begins now. Edited February 25, 2013 by Standard-Fare
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