Car10e Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 Ok so I just started seeing a guy again after less than a month of ending it the first time. The first time I started seeing him middle of September. Things were great. I'm not gonna lie, I loved all the attention I was getting from him. He would constantly text me, and if I didn't reply right away, I would get another text from him asking if I was busy. We talked about taking things slow, since we both were coming out of a relationship (my previous relationship much longer than his). We pretty much did everything I did in my last relationship (met parents & friends & he came to my house often), so I asked him where he thinks we stand. We basically agreed on casually dating, so there was no title. I figured eventually if something is gonna happen, then it will. Over the next few months, texting and communication became less. I asked him, and he just said, "I'm weird, I go through phases of texting." I stopped stressing over it, and just figured this is how he is, since he did usually initiate conversation every now and then, and I still asked to meet up and see me at school. Our semester ended at school, and he came to my friends house to hang out. When we left he talked about how he had fun and stuff. He dropped me off at my off, gave a good night kiss and said we'll have a sleep over at his house over winter break, something I looked forward to. Christmas comes, he seems okay. I texted him saying merry christmas and he replied back. We were both busy so the convo didnt really go anywhere. I don't really remember the next few days, as it was uneventful. My birthday was a week later, so I invited him to the party my friends were having. He said he had a work party to go to. I really wanted him to go, but he wasn't my bf so I didn't say anything else. My birthday comes a few days later, and no text or anything from him. His best friend managed to wish my a happy birthday, but he didn't. I thought that was pretty sketchy, but for some reason, I let it slide. I asked a few times if we could meet up, and sometimes he would ignore it, sometimes he would reply saying we'll get together next week. Next week came around and I didn't hear from him. I went a week without saying anything, until I just flat out asked him if he isn't feeling it anymore. He replied HOURS later, saying "hey. yeah. I hate these awkward convos, but yeah, I feel how I feel, I'm really sorry :(" I ignored it, and just went on with my day. This was the beginning of January. Middle of January, I log into a game on my Iphone, and see a game request from him. I was bored at work, so I just played him. He won. I'm sitting there at work and I get a text from him saying "I won :D" I don't know why I responded, but I did. I can't remember what he texted me that got me confused, but I ignored it. The next few days he continued to text me, about the game, and then he started asking how I was, like i hadn't talked to him in months. We caught up on the couple weeks we missed, and I started to miss him. I know! I really didn't want to, but I did. I changed my picture on facebook, and a minute later I got a text from him saying "new profile picture" I know, its a little creepy, but I took it as he is noticing me again. I started to think maybe he's interested again. We stopped texting for a week once again, leaving me confused. We started a new semester, and I knew he would be at school when I was there. I filled my friend in on my situation, and she said to text him saying, "I miss you," to see how he responds. I honestly thought he would ignore it, since he tends to do that often, but he replied, with "you miss me? I saw your car in the parking lot today" Not really the reply I wanted to hear, but I just said I do. The convo ended, I walk to my car, get in my car, look over and he's standing there staring at me. He came over to me, and we talked like nothing had happened. I didn't think it meant anything, so when it got quiet I said well it was nice seeing you (thinking he would ride away on his bike). He stayed and talked a while longer, he joked about how he doesn't want to go to his car thinking he would have a parking ticket. When things wrapped up, he asked if I wanted to grab dinner during our break from classes on thursday. Originally, I was supposed to have class so I said I can't. He left and right away i get a text from him saying he didnt get a parking ticket. A little while later I get a text from him, Him: "So do we need to talk about it, or is me ignoring the topic gonna keep working?" Me:"I'm having the hardest time reading you," Him: "thats cause I'm weird." Me: "What do you mean?" Him: "I think I'm sending you mixed signals" I ended up not having class during the time he wanted to grab dinner the next school day, so I asked him, and he said yes. We went to a burger place near by in which I got the vibe of just friends. At the end he gave an awkward hug and we said bye. I just figured thats probably what its gonna be, just friends. I didn't talk to him until next school day (5 days later), and he texts me asking if I want to get dinner again. We met for dinner, and I still felt he wanted to be just friends. The next 2 weeks we met for dinner everyday we were at school. We texted every now and then, but nothing special, usually because he had a question or wanted an opinion on something. That Sunday I get a text from him, just saying "Hey :)" . I was pretty confused cause he usually didn't start a convo like that. I responded and we continued to text the entire night. He was very flirty and dirty, so I figured he wanted something from me. Even though I was aware of what he was doing, I went along with it. I think I just liked the attention I was getting from him. This went on for a few days. If I didn't reply back right away he would text me, " tired of me?" He consistently texted me the next few days and even would tell me goodnight and good morning. Last week he asked to hang out, outside of school. It didn't happen, so he suggested we hang out the following night after class and asked if I wanted to sleep over, which just happened to be valentines day. I figured he was probably wanting to hookup. He also asked if I wanted to get dinner before, which I planned on doing since we've been going ever day we have school. Dinner time comes and we go to Chipotle (fancy right?) only this time, before I could get my wallet out, he tells me he hasn't paid for me in a while, and that he will pay. After dinner, he was pretty touchy, and he kissed me, so I figure we're back to casually dating. Later that night, we hooked up. I didn't sleep over, because he had to wake up early for work. Next morning I didn't get a text. I thought maybe I should text him first. So I did. Convo didn't last very long, but I knew he was at work and would be busy all day. I didn't expect him to text throughout the day. I thought maybe he would text later on when he was done, but he didn't. I knew he was out with friends, but I still got upset and just texted him asking if he was just looking for a hookup. He replied right away, saying "No, I'm sorry, I can understand why you think that. I saw your text, and forgot to reply. I'm sorry!" The next few days he didn't text as much because of work, but he still started short conversations every now and then. Up until a few days ago, I'll text him something, and he doesn't respond back. Tonight, I sent him a picture of something, and got nothing from him. We texted a little this morning and he was flirty, so I'm a little confused. He has ignored my texts numerous times, but if I don't reply right away, he starts asking if I'm tired of him. Wow, if anyone has made it this far, I'm really sorry! I didn't realize how much I wrote. I know its a lot of details, but I think they are necessary details. I don't think he was just looking for a hookup, as he is still talking to me. He is hot and cold, and its getting pretty frustrating. I know a lot of people are gonna tell me to just get rid of him. I want to, but for some strange reason I like him, a lot. I am to the point where I think if we took it to another level and move outside of casually dating, it might better. I want to know him better, but I'm scared of how he will react. I don't know how to tell him. Please help?
iKING Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 He hasn't the slightest clue of what he wants. Be weary about hooking up with him. I seriously doubt he wants anything committed with you presently. Man, mix signals is no joke. This could be pretty easily written off as him stringing you along for whatever reason (sex, companionship) but suppose I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt, he is one confused individual in pertains to what he wants from you. I'd say run and don't look back, give him time to figure himself out, but do what you feel is right. Just don't expect this to go anywhere anytime soon.
Author Car10e Posted February 25, 2013 Author Posted February 25, 2013 He hasn't the slightest clue of what he wants. Be weary about hooking up with him. I seriously doubt he wants anything committed with you presently. Man, mix signals is no joke. This could be pretty easily written off as him stringing you along for whatever reason (sex, companionship) but suppose I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt, he is one confused individual in pertains to what he wants from you. I'd say run and don't look back, give him time to figure himself out, but do what you feel is right. Just don't expect this to go anywhere anytime soon. Thanks for your reply. I know it probably sounds like I'm some needy girl based on what I wrote, but I'm really not. When we ended things before I completely stopped contact with him. But for some reason he came back. Thats whats got me confused. I'm most likely over thinking a lot of this. Should I just wait for him to say something?
iKING Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 Thanks for your reply. I know it probably sounds like I'm some needy girl based on what I wrote, but I'm really not. When we ended things before I completely stopped contact with him. But for some reason he came back. Thats whats got me confused. My pleasure. I didn't perceive you as needy at all based on what you wrote, It's fair not to want to be strung along and to know where you stand. Frankly I can see why you're confused. As I said it could be him just wanting affection of some kind and having no idea if you're what he really wants. The best you can do is to tell him you're not down for the emotional roller coaster and he needs to decide what he wants or get lost.
Author Car10e Posted February 25, 2013 Author Posted February 25, 2013 My pleasure. I didn't perceive you as needy at all based on what you wrote, It's fair not to want to be strung along and to know where you stand. Frankly I can see why you're confused. As I said it could be him just wanting affection of some kind and having no idea if you're what he really wants. The best you can do is to tell him you're not down for the emotional roller coaster and he needs to decide what he wants or get lost. Thank you! I think thats exactly what I'm gonna do!
Cutiepie1976 Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 ...I think they are necessary details. I don't think he was just looking for a hookup, as he is still talking to me. He is hot and cold, and its getting pretty frustrating. I know a lot of people are gonna tell me to just get rid of him. I want to, but for some strange reason I like him, a lot. I am to the point where I think if we took it to another level and move outside of casually dating, it might better. I want to know him better, but I'm scared of how he will react. I don't know how to tell him. Please help? Sorry, but I'm not seeing mixed signals here. When he wants to hook up, he texts you. When he doesn't, then he can't be bothered, so he ignores your efforts at communication. I don't think you will be able to get him to "take it to another level" beyond casual dating. Frankly, you aren't even casually dating at this point. You have now become more of a booty call. Even his best friend is more considerate of your feelings. It seems like a lost cause. He's getting what he wants even though he now treats you fairly trashily. Not to be hurtful, but what's the incentive to do more for you at this juncture? Why would he bother to turn into a boyfriend or even a regular casual dater when he doesn't even have the wherewithal to click a 2-second response to one of your various texts when he's not actively fishing. My suggestion would be to cut your losses, view this as a learning experience, and start fresh with someone else.
kimberlydoll Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 Mixed signals equals... -Not interested -Doesnt know what he wants -Certain types of personalities such as being the wishy washy type and so on If you want to be jerked around, continue to see him. Id run away if I were you. Sounds like he likes your attention and talks to you when hes bored. I had an ex that freely admitted to doing this with his exes while we were together and Ive ignored him every time he has tried to talk to me since we broke up.
Author Car10e Posted February 25, 2013 Author Posted February 25, 2013 Sorry, but I'm not seeing mixed signals here. When he wants to hook up, he texts you. When he doesn't, then he can't be bothered, so he ignores your efforts at communication. I don't think you will be able to get him to "take it to another level" beyond casual dating. Frankly, you aren't even casually dating at this point. You have now become more of a booty call. Even his best friend is more considerate of your feelings. It seems like a lost cause. He's getting what he wants even though he now treats you fairly trashily. Not to be hurtful, but what's the incentive to do more for you at this juncture? Why would he bother to turn into a boyfriend or even a regular casual dater when he doesn't even have the wherewithal to click a 2-second response to one of your various texts when he's not actively fishing. My suggestion would be to cut your losses, view this as a learning experience, and start fresh with someone else. I might've made it seem like he ignores my texts all the time. He doesn't, but when he does I just start over thinking. I texted him last night and didn't get an answer, but this morning I woke up to a text from him. We recently just started casually dating again (like 2 weeks), so I kind of want to see where things go.
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