Bob360 Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 My ex just sent me a text saying "I hope you can really forgive me for all the pain I caused you/ but thank you for all the memories/ I really do appreciate everything you have done for me/ and I will repay you for the class you paid for me". Should I respond to this? If so how?
Simon Phoenix Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 My ex just sent me a text saying "I hope you can really forgive me for all the pain I caused you/ but thank you for all the memories/ I really do appreciate everything you have done for me/ and I will repay you for the class you paid for me". Should I respond to this? If so how? Nah, I wouldn't say anything. Sounds like she's just looking to relieve guilt. She wants you to forgive her so she can reconcile the way she broke up with you. I'd let this message be.
Author Bob360 Posted February 25, 2013 Author Posted February 25, 2013 Too late, I replied to her. She said that the reason why she broke up with me because she's going through a lot and that she couldn't tell me something because she was afraid the way I would react to it. She tells me she's doing bad, I feel sad and want to help her. Advice please
calgary Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 Too late, I replied to her. She said that the reason why she broke up with me because she's going through a lot and that she couldn't tell me something because she was afraid the way I would react to it. She tells me she's doing bad, I feel sad and want to help her. Advice please broke up for the same thing! mine said this to me a month after the break up / no contact, told me she'd self harmed/ thought of suicide, told me she feels alone.. held my hand all night, told me she loved and missed me, we hugged she put her head on my shoulder and started crying, we hugged loads. then at the end of the night she said she didn't want a relationship or to lead me on. week after she confronted me of already talking to another girl before we broke up. asked me to text her about it, that was 9 days ago I still haven't got in touch. if you help her you'll basically become the best friend ever if you're not careful.
Author Bob360 Posted February 25, 2013 Author Posted February 25, 2013 I want to help her, but I'm afraid. I feel sad because I still care
Author Bob360 Posted February 25, 2013 Author Posted February 25, 2013 I'm afraid of getting feelings for her again. I would like to get back with her but I know I shouldn't. I told her that if she wanted to call me and we could talk just to help her feel better but she said she can't
BarbecueMan666 Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 Hmm, I'm 7 weeks post BU - and all I can ask is, is this woman good for you? If you can answer that honestly, unbiased and without the love goggles then think about it, but what ever you do, take your time. Don't rush out and make any decision without deep deep thought. One rule i've gone by is writing it down, if I still feel the same 24 hours afterwards then I'll go with it. 1
cavalier99 Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 Hell no! I wouldn't respond ...hmm maybe with Send checks to: NAME ADDRESS 1
richard9 Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 if you help her you'll basically become the best friend ever if you're not careful. agree. this is why im not replying to my ex's text messages. you are one of the few lucky ones who did actually get an apology though. saying that if it was me i know i would be feeling exactly what you are feeling and find it very hard not to initiate a relationship again. BUT it comes back to calgary's point, do you want to be the best friend, to watch her go date other guys and let her come back to you when she needs a friend to TALK to, all the time you are in love with her? im guessing the answer is no. good luck
Chi townD Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 Dude, I told you in your last thread when you explained what happened. That she was using you for security and for you to buy her things AND to pay for her education only to find out that she doesn't love you and is still hung up on her Ex. YOU even told her that she was using you. And what did I say? That she would probably contact you when she REALLY started to feel guilty, and when that happens, you should ignore it. Well, it happened. Did you ignore it? nope...... If you read through her text, NOTHING in there screams that she made a mistake, that she was wrong, that she wants you back and would do anything to make that happen. What it does scream out to me to say is that she wants to ease her own guilt, even repay you for her education (which I wouldn't bank on, it's just another way to keep you on her leash). Dude, you need to go back to NC and start to heal from this. You aren't her Knight in Shining Armor. If she needs a shoulder to cry on, she has her Ex to which she still has feeling for and is still communicating with while you were being her sugar daddy.
geegirl Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 I'm afraid of getting feelings for her again. I would like to get back with her but I know I shouldn't. I told her that if she wanted to call me and we could talk just to help her feel better but she said she can't For goodness sake, she is in love with another man. Stop being a doormat. You're trying to show he how wonderful you are in hopes of her choosing you. You can listen to her whine all day, she's still going to choose him. She dumped you for that reason. She's using you as a crutch. That is all it is. Now, get a backbone, put your emotional wellbeing ahead of hers and stay away from her.
Author Bob360 Posted February 25, 2013 Author Posted February 25, 2013 Dude, I told you in your last thread when you explained what happened. That she was using you for security and for you to buy her things AND to pay for her education only to find out that she doesn't love you and is still hung up on her Ex. YOU even told her that she was using you. And what did I say? That she would probably contact you when she REALLY started to feel guilty, and when that happens, you should ignore it. Well, it happened. Did you ignore it? nope...... If you read through her text, NOTHING in there screams that she made a mistake, that she was wrong, that she wants you back and would do anything to make that happen. What it does scream out to me to say is that she wants to ease her own guilt, even repay you for her education (which I wouldn't bank on, it's just another way to keep you on her leash). Dude, you need to go back to NC and start to heal from this. You aren't her Knight in Shining Armor. If she needs a shoulder to cry on, she has her Ex to which she still has feeling for and is still communicating with while you were being her sugar daddy. I know dude, like I said part of me doesn't want her and part of me does. We talked for like over an hour over the phone, she said everything is going bad for her. Then she said that she didn't break up with me because of her ex but because of all the drama that she's going through. Personally I think it's BS because she always had problems. Another explanation was if she couldn't take care of herself how can she take care of me, I told her that sounded dum. She said that she still loves me. In the end I told her that the only reason I spoke to her was because I still have some feelings for her but that we can't be friends. We did talk about maybe reconciling but she said she needs time to fix her problems.
Author Bob360 Posted February 25, 2013 Author Posted February 25, 2013 I understand I can't go back and I won't. I thought about this last night I will continue NC and forget all about this. What got me pissed was that I was praying for her not to text me because I had a feeling she would try on my birthday which she did. Thank you everybody for encouraging me and giving me the advice
Author Bob360 Posted February 25, 2013 Author Posted February 25, 2013 Hmm, I'm 7 weeks post BU - and all I can ask is, is this woman good for you? If you can answer that honestly, unbiased and without the love goggles then think about it, but what ever you do, take your time. Don't rush out and make any decision without deep deep thought. One rule i've gone by is writing it down, if I still feel the same 24 hours afterwards then I'll go with it. I did what you said and I think she is good enough for me but what makes me hesitate is the stuff she has done to me. I was forgetting about her already but she broke the NC
Author Bob360 Posted February 26, 2013 Author Posted February 26, 2013 Dude, I told you in your last thread when you explained what happened. That she was using you for security and for you to buy her things AND to pay for her education only to find out that she doesn't love you and is still hung up on her Ex. YOU even told her that she was using you. And what did I say? That she would probably contact you when she REALLY started to feel guilty, and when that happens, you should ignore it. Well, it happened. Did you ignore it? nope...... If you read through her text, NOTHING in there screams that she made a mistake, that she was wrong, that she wants you back and would do anything to make that happen. What it does scream out to me to say is that she wants to ease her own guilt, even repay you for her education (which I wouldn't bank on, it's just another way to keep you on her leash). Dude, you need to go back to NC and start to heal from this. You aren't her Knight in Shining Armor. If she needs a shoulder to cry on, she has her Ex to which she still has feeling for and is still communicating with while you were being her sugar daddy. Your right dude, it's hard for me to accept it because she's my first serious relationship. I've started NC again. I know I messed up by talking to her but I guess that's how we learn. I know it's never going to work but its hard for me to accept that, is that normal? Thank you dude!!
AlexfromBoston Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 If it's going to open up a whole new can of worms and screw with your feelings, ignore her and maintain NC. I suspect this is the case as you are posting this thread on the Loveshack forum. If you can be mature about it and toss your feelings out the door, there is no harm in trying to help your ex during her time of need. Of course, I don't really know your back story so if she was a horror show or cheated, I'd tell her to pound sand.
marklarsson Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 dude she went back to her ex. just leave her alone. she clearly showed she dont need you
Author Bob360 Posted March 4, 2013 Author Posted March 4, 2013 Sorry for the late reply I've been trying to keep busy. I've been getting better overall, but the thing that still bothers me is that I dream about her and most things remind me of her. Last time I talked to her was when I created this thread. There's one thing that keeps me thinking is that she said she was in love with her ex when she got with me and that she got with me because shhe did love but she was hoping her feeling would get bigger with me so she can forget about him. Was this relationship just a game? She also said that she felt like breaking up a long time ago but hoped her feelings changed. In addition she said that we were completely different because we liked different things and that she was afraid of living aboring life.
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