earthangel Posted September 2, 2004 Posted September 2, 2004 Hello everybody, I don't know how to start, but here goes my story. I am thankful to whoever reads it. I must say that I am a little bit unclear about the situation that I have found myself in. What happened was that my, let's call him a boyfriend, does not want to be with me anymore. He did not actually say it, but I think that that's the case. Now that you have the general idea, I will start explaining all the other details of our relationship. We met quite accidentally while talking on the Internet. One woman posted her problem and asked for advice. He responded, just as I did. Then, he said something that I did not actually agree with, so I asked what he meant and I stated my own opinion about how I do not agree whit what he said. He responded, of course, explaining to me what he meant and that is how we got to talking. One part of my nickname described the profession, and he was interested in that because he also took lessons (does this make sense?, I do not want give too many details). Anyway, I said something that he really liked and he offered me his e-mail so that we can continue talking and get to know each other better. At first, I wanted to just talk there, because I did not know who he actually is, but later, I told him that I cannot continue and cannot give him my e-mail because all of that is new to me (I had never exchanged emails with anyone like that before). I was careful because I did not know what I am getting myself into. Not that I have anything against this way of communication. It's just that there is a lot at stake, what with me not knowing who he is(he could have been a psycho and you know what can happen, right?). So that was my decision - to stop. However, he wrote me a really long message, saying how he was impressed with what I wrote, how he shares my opinion, and how he would like to meet someone like me because he thought that we could really hit it off. In addition, he told me how he thought we had similar interests, which was the thing in my nickname that I had explained before. All of that really got me thinking that this may be a man who is ok, so I decided to give it a try. Then we started talking through e-mail and it lasted 3 months. For all this time he has been really attentive and understanding and whenever I needed someone to talk, he was there. I told him about some of my relationships from the past, and how I was left dissapointed etc. He told me that I should just relax and that whatever he has to say about us, he would say and talk to me. Then we exchanged phone numbers, and after a first call, he wanted to meet me in person. I agreed and we did get together. To make the long story short, that was the only time we met and after that, I wasn't quite sure that he is what I want. He's smart and he believes in the same things I do, but it was different when I saw him that day. Still, I decided to continue and get to know him, because I cannot be sure if this is it right away, right? We started talking and then he said how he thinks that we should not have a relationship now because we do not know each other that well and how hard it is to get to know one another if we live in different cities (we're only 2,3 hours away from each). Besides, he knew from the beginning where I live, but he told that he got really tired that day when he came to visit me. He said that he doesn't want to have that kind of relationship because he already experienced something like that in the past and he talked about how it was very painful to live apart from each. He would do that if he knew that we would end up together in the end, but we cannot promise each other that now, so he thinks that it's better that we stay friends. To be honest, all of that surprised me. I agreed to that. He wants me to visit him and he said that we will talk to each other by e-mail or phone (if I want to of course). He also said that he likes me, that he thinks that I am very beautiful, and that if we were living in the same city, he would definitely ask me out on a date. However, it's really hard to start anything with these circumstances. I do not know what to think. I do not know if what he is saying is true, or if he does not like me. I do not know how he can come to a conclusion based on only one meeting (I did not). I don't know if he does not like my looks. Actually, I am not self-conscious about my looks. A lot of men ask me out and I know that this sounds stupid when you say it, but people have told me that I look above the average. Maybe I am not his type? Physically, he wasn't my type, but I am not entirely and only concerned about that. After all this, I started to think about him and I cannot get him out of my head. Is it possible that he has somebody else in mind? I find his explanation hard to believe because he knew from the beginning that if we get toghter, that it will be a long-distance relationship, so that's why I am left very confused. Why did he even start anything? I thank for every comment that I get. If you need more details so that you can give me an adequate answer, feel free to ask and I will provide you with them. Once more, thank you for reading.
moimeme Posted September 3, 2004 Posted September 3, 2004 You could alway believe him, just for the heck of it. A lot of people are against LDRs. If you think he is 'the one', move to his town and see if he dates you. Or else follow his sage advice that you don't know each other that well yet and that you should become friends. Sometimes friends become lovers, after all.
Author earthangel Posted September 3, 2004 Author Posted September 3, 2004 Thank you for answering. See, he said that he believes in giving rather than taking, just like I do. That is what drew him to me, after all. He had been with women who just took and he is really tired from that. That's why his explanation seems weird to me. We were talking to some other people there and there was a man who said that his girlfriend left him because they were apart from each other. My boyfriend said that this man should forget her, becasue she is not the one if she acted like that. But now, he is doing the same thing to us. I don't know. Do you think that he got scared maybe? He was in the long-distance relationship before and that relatinship did not end very well, so he doesn't want to get dissapointed again. He also told me that he could have had another long-distance relationship, but he did not because of all of the things that you can experience with these kind of relatioships.
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