I punched him...

[TaraMaiden]

You are completely missing the point.

 

Hitting someone with no provocation is actually against the law.

 

Emotional pain, isn't.

 

And before you start talking about Karma - get it right.

Karma, isn't Moral Retribution.

 

'Karma' just means' Action' not come-uppance.

 

And it's simply a process, there is no judgement attached to it.

[TaraMaiden]

Oh FFS, stop steering the subject off topic.

This is LoveShack, not the United nations!

 

You want to discuss world politics, go here!

[TaraMaiden]

The video that I linked to on the last page is of a trashy woman being very disrespectful to a bus driver, spitting at him etc. So he gets up and gives her a huge smack. I've seen that video many times, and although I usually hate to watch real life violence, I really do enjoy watching that video because it feels like justice was done. It's not pleasant, but it feels very right that she got such a shock. Hitting men is a very low, dirty thing to do, and it deserves to be met with pain.

 

That's not 'abuse' that's self-defence.

 

There's a difference.

[Woggle]

He was wrong but it still doesn't justify violence. The point is that women are not children and should not be treated as such. The women's movement was in large part about women being taken seriously as capable adults and part of being a serious adult is controlling your violent impulses. Just walk away and forget about him. That is the best way to deal with a cheater.

[TaraMaiden]

Exactly.

The OP wasn't.

 

That's the difference.

 

When a person lashes out and hits another person with no provocation or instantly justifiable reason, it's wrong.

 

Regardless of gender.

 

Women doing it to men

Men doing it to women.

 

By and large though, as a general rule, men do a whole lot more damage, and are capable of inflicting more harm by use of their hands alone, than a woman is.

 

Most women will use some form of weapon, because as a general rule, thy don't have the same kind of physically-powerful impact through use of sheer manual force, alone.

[M30USA]

It's a law no government gives a crap about as soon as its interests are compromised, which is why in America where violence is outlawed the state has capital punishment and we wage war killing millions. Violence is GREAT so long as the rich that own the state is wielding it!

 

So lets not pretend to be moral anti-violence humanists, because we aren't. If we were so anti violence we'd be making a human shield around the Iraqi border right now.

 

Don't get me wrong: I WISH we were a loving good natured species. But only two percent of our kind has an advanced intelligence. Most of our kind are selfish and cowardly, which is why psychopaths have been allowed to lord over us virtually unchecked for generations.

 

You know when we have peace as a society? On the storms of violent upheavals where those selfish overlords who emotionally/financially abuse us are forced to reckon with violence. Some humans are freaking dumb and need to be slapped because their sociopathy only responds to fear (and nearly one out of eleven people have this problem)! It all sucks, but id rather live in a society where an objectifying pig might get slapped than in a society where people can use the living crap out of each other without any ramifications for the pain they cause.

 

I surprisingly agree with you on many things. Watch out, you are THIS close to becoming a follower of Jesus. The first step is realizing how utterly, radically depraved the human species is. You, unlike most, have wisely realized this.

Edited February 25, 2013 by M30USA

[TaraMaiden]

I surprisingly agree with you on many things. Watch out, you are THIS close to becoming a follower of Jesus. The first step is realizing how utterly, radically depraved the human species is. You, unlike most, have wisely realized this.

 

Oh FFS, stop steering the subject off topic!

 

This is LoveShack, not the United Church of Christ!

 

You want to proselytise, go here!

 

(Definite feeling of deja vu here.....

[Woggle]

How about we all agree that for both men and women violence should never be a solution unless it is in self defense. Walking away from a cheater and living a good life without them is the best revenge a person can get.

[TaraMaiden]

I agree with that.

I just think the "logic" and rationale behind some of John Stiles' posts is anything but.

[Kaza]

Stop making this a male and female thing.

 

This is one personal MY story. This is two humans who are learning to deal with each other. It wasn't right and I didn't say I'm proud of it. But it happened, as things happen. And the facts are that he is a big guy and I didn't use all my strength. Did he deserve it? We both agree he did. Did we make peace after that? We did.

 

Moving on.

[TaraMaiden]

So why even post telling us you smacked him one?

 

And it is a male/female thing.

Would you have been so forgiving if the roles had been reversed?

 

Would you be so 'move on' if he had hit you, in the same way?

 

 

No, I think you'd be on here asking us what we thought you should do about it, and how indignant you'd be feeling about him laying a hand on you.

[Kaza]

So why even post telling us you smacked him one?

 

And it is a male/female thing.

Would you have been so forgiving if the roles had been reversed?

 

Would you be so 'move on' if he had hit you, in the same way?

 

 

No, I think you'd be on here asking us what we thought you should do about it, and how indignant you'd be feeling about him laying a hand on you.

 

 

Because I was shaken and I didn't know what I thought. If he had hit me back because I hit him, I would think I deserve it too. I would think its wrong but I understand. I can also understand why he lied to me in this way, and I'm able to forgive him for it too.

 

Look at it this way, the only two people involved thought it was wrong, they understand, they've forgiven each other and they both move on.

[geegirl]

Stop making this a male and female thing.

 

This is one personal MY story. This is two humans who are learning to deal with each other. It wasn't right and I didn't say I'm proud of it. But it happened, as things happen. And the facts are that he is a big guy and I didn't use all my strength. Did he deserve it? We both agree he did. Did we make peace after that? We did.

 

Moving on.

 

It is a female/male thing. I bet if he socked you in the face, you'd be all over LS talking about this assclown, police report and all rather than the callous "moving on".

 

Enough of the if he smacked me, if I smacked him. Find healthier ways to deal with one another.

[TaraMaiden]

Well, I'm sorry but then I need to ask - why did you post about it?

 

Really, knowing LS as you must do, you should have guessed this would open the floodgates to the 'is smacking someone ever right, even if you think they deserve it' debate!

 

And nobody knew then - as you have revealed now - that you guys came to a peaceable understanding about it.

 

Why didn't you put that in your first post??

[geegirl]

And nobody knew then - as you have revealed now - that you guys came to a peaceable understanding about it.

 

Why didn't you put that in your first post??

 

Me thinks she didn't expect the backlash. Time for damage control.

Edited February 25, 2013 by geegirl

[Kaza]

Well I just told you, I was shaken over the incident and the first time I punched somebody. There was a time lapse between when we made peace and I didn't see a need to defend myself. And no I don't know LS.

 

But I'm explaining myself now, because I don't want people to think there's one more person condoning violence.

[Woggle]

Here's my prevalent issue: what deterrent to we have to wretched behavior like cheating, objectification, usary, blah etc if people don't fear consequence? Because its NOT against the law to lie to a person to use them for sex, its not against the law to emotionally terrorize someone, to deliberately crush them on a mental level.

 

If I can treat people like utter crap on an emotional level without any ramifications, why shouldn't I? (I know for ME why I shouldn't, but most folks don't behave unless there is a benefit or consequence).

 

This is why I am not comfortable for saying violence is never warranted. Violence provides a consequence for mal-treating me. If a guy tries to use me, he had to REALLY worry about getting his ass kicked, that has often been the only thing that kept some morons line...

 

How about walking away and never looking back. Believe me it drives them crazy. Trust me I know from experience. If I got violent with my ex after she cheated then I would be the bad guy with the police record but I simply cut her out from my life like a cancerous tumor and she got violent instead and exposed her true colors.

[iouaname]

I'm surprised that there's even debate going on with this. She should not have hit him. I mean, everyone understands that, right? Surely everyone understands that? Everyone must understand that?

 

I mean - first of all, all of the "she was defending herself" stuff is ridiculous. Defending herself from what? Unless she was being physically threatened - she wasn't on the defensive. In fact she was the offender. Yes, what he said might have provoked the anger in her to hit him, but she also had every ability to use her words to settle the situation. Everyone keeps talking about his "physical presence" as if it matters - it doesn't. He wasn't using his physical self in this situation, he was using his words. She has words, too, and girl words are just as strong as boy words.

 

Secondly, what did it even accomplish? People are speaking as if this helped her "get even" with him for the hurtful things that he said to her but based on what she has posted in this thread - his words hurt her a lot more than the punch hurt him so it seems like the retaliation did no good anyway. OP - next time, you might want to think of a better way to settle it, because something tells me there was probably a more affective one!

[zanzi]

he could have you done for assault, your very lucky that he didn't do so.

[Trimmer]

I'll just say that the truth is that he didn't really get hurt and neither did my knuckles.

The rationale of spouse and child abusers, too.

 

Here's my prevalent issue: what deterrent to we have to wretched behavior like cheating, objectification, usary, blah etc if people don't fear consequence?

So are you therefore saying that you reserve the right to deliver violence as your "consequence"? That's all you've got in your toolbox?

 

This is why I am not comfortable for saying violence is never warranted. Violence provides a consequence for mal-treating me. If a guy tries to use me, he had to REALLY worry about getting his ass kicked, that has often been the only thing that kept some morons line...

That sounds to me like some kind of a systematic failure on your part. Not that it's your fault they are morons, but it is your issue that you can only deal with it through violence.

 

Look, I'm not ready to say "violence is never warranted" either - I don't think anyone's advocating the absolute position "never warranted" here - but since you brought it up, my standard for the use of violence is the minimum, proportional response necessary to repel and keep myself or others safe from an attack, and to allow a clear retreat to safety.

 

Anything beyond that, I would consider a breakdown of my humanity.

Edited February 26, 2013 by Trimmer

[Eggplant]

Here's my prevalent issue: what deterrent to we have to wretched behavior like cheating, objectification, usary, blah etc if people don't fear consequence? Because its NOT against the law to lie to a person to use them for sex, its not against the law to emotionally terrorize someone, to deliberately crush them on a mental level.

 

Did the OP's ex-boyfriend cheat on her? She didn't mention that he did, so in this case, I think the OP overreacted, was wrong, and should be crafting her letter of apology, right OP?

 

I agree with you that society should impose penalties. An entire legal system of marriage has existed since prehistory to try to police mating. Adultery used to be illegal and in some times and places punishable by death. Today, however, there is no, and the moral condemnation isn't as strong. When a man and a woman arrange to start a family, the female gives her part first. She lets the man be the father of her children (instead of some alpha). In return, the man is supposed to not run away or give his resources to other women. Today there is no way to enforce the marriage contract, so guess which party gets screwed over? If this is the source of your hostility, I get it.

 

But this is not what the OP was posting about I don't think.

[Trimmer]

Of course its not the only tool, and its one resorted to after more diplomatic avenues have been exhausted, but I DO retain it as a possibility if I feel it necessary because some wrongs are NOT addressed by society.

 

My husband cheated on me with a wh*re who threatened my kids. The cops wouldn't do anything, I did. She doesn't come near me now, weeks of talking did not deliver those results. But a swift punch to her head straightened her out in less than a few seconds...

OK, I hear you. Taking action to defend your family against a stated threat and repeated approaches, when you've already exhausted the standard diplomatic, legal, etc. options? Yeah, that's somewhere in my threshold zone, and without knowing specific details or nuances of the situation, I'm not going to judge you for that; I can see your point.

 

Having granted that, though, in all fairness you have to admit that you are making your point in a completely different context than the OP and the bulk of this discussion though, right?

[whichwayisup]

You shouldn't treat people like utter crap on an emotional level, or any level, because if you do, you risk very painful retaliation. It's particularly dangerous for a woman to arouse a man's anger because it can end in tears.

 

By the way objectification is normal. Women are sex objects. If they weren't, none of us would be born to talk about it. Animals know this.

 

You really did just say this? WTF.

[PogoStick]

I don't buy the argument that female>male assault isn't as big a deal because of the physical differences, and the guys are being "whiny".

 

First there are plenty of smaller guys and bigger women. Second, weapons are the great equalizers of humanity. Watch an evening of Dateline and you'll notice there is no shortage of female murderers.

 

I personally know a man who had several teeth knocked out when he was struck by his wife with a frying pan.

 

I've also noticed that when women act out it's often met with cheers or applause by other women. Especially with the classic "drink in the face". It's some sort of girl power thing.

[TaraMaiden]

I don't buy the argument that female>male assault isn't as big a deal because of the physical differences, and the guys are being "whiny".

 

First there are plenty of smaller guys and bigger women.

 

yeah, but not always in the same marriage....

 

Second, weapons are the great equalizers of humanity. Watch an evening of Dateline and you'll notice there is no shortage of female murderers.

 

I personally know a man who had several teeth knocked out when he was struck by his wife with a frying pan.

I think that's been covered. Women will resort to a weapon, because far more often than not, her size and physique means that using her hands alone will not have the same impact.

 

I've also noticed that when women act out it's often met with cheers or applause by other women. Especially with the classic "drink in the face". It's some sort of girl power thing

It often depends on the circumstance. If you like the Jerry Springer level of entertainment, i think often, both sides get what they deserve.

Often, if a man is making a big enough jerk of himself, a drink in the face is usually superfluous, and does little for the woman's standing. Personally, if anything, I lose just a bit of respect for her, when she resorts to that tactic....