barbossa Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 I have a great girl friend. But my male friends are introverts and not fun to hang out the female friends I do have are married cant hang out with. Long story short with I tried to find female friends on OKC I said I am dating. And happy I am 6'2 and H/W prop.( so its not a height thing) Decent looking I put pictures of me and my gf Clearly stated looking for friends only for activity partners and hanging out I live in major metro area, have car, job, etc 50 messages to 50 females 20-45 All general interest topics about their profile. no creepy sex/hookup messages All female profiles stated looking for male friends albeit single friends some sent 1 message replies but nothing developed... who ever was closest to me I messaged with 25 miles stayed away from hot and replied very selectively girls lots of girls viewed my profile. But less than 5 replied back not looking to hook up, or date them, Can't even be friends Zoned? Riddle me this one
ja123 Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 I guess these women want to start out as friends but with the possibility of it developing into a relationship. You're already in a relationship, so they don't want to waste their time. Also, some are probably thinking that you're looking for a 3-way hookup with your girl.
yongyong Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 (edited) That's like hitting on some girl on street and ask her to be just your friend LOL. They are not going to fall for 'just looking for friends' B.S. Let's say you really want just friends. would they trust what you say? Plus, if they are looking for someone to date, they won't waste time with you. IMO, finding friends are hardest on dating site. Find them in local groups. Bottom line, you are selling a heater in Africa. Edited February 25, 2013 by yongyong
Author barbossa Posted February 25, 2013 Author Posted February 25, 2013 Sounds shady to me. Why shady I stated just looking for friends, wtf?
ja123 Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 Why shady I stated just looking for friends, wtf? That line is usually construed as a euphemism for friends with benefits, especially on OLD. I agree with what was mentioned above, find friends through groups: meetup.com, etc.
ScienceGal Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 20 is young... When I briefly tried OLD, I wouldn't consider men that had their age range set that low. I thought they were just looking for fun (aka, to get laid).
Almond_Joy Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 Why don't you try meetup groups instead? Even though OLD sites have a friends option, nearly everyone on the sites has an expectation of a romantic prospect. Face to face intros and interaction is much more believable when you're trying to make platonic friendships. If you're in a major city you can find meetups around all kinds of hobbies.
yongyong Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 you just don't get it, do you? Try saying you are just looking for friends at a bar. Try even emphasizing you are gay and won't touch her. Why shady I stated just looking for friends, wtf?
Eternal Sunshine Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 They think you are looking for a 3-some.
StanMusial Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 Why shady I stated just looking for friends, wtf? Why do you feel the need to go on a DATING web site to find "female friends"? The world is a huge place, there are plenty of women around. Is your girlfriend OK with you looking for single young women to pal around with? LOL. F*** me I think the world has up and gone crazy 1
grkBoy Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 I'm always skeptical of the "only looking for friends" thing on DATING SITES. I still think the men who do it most of the time are looking for sex partners...and the women who do it most of the time are using it as a protective shell to "try before buy" on men. I believe they do want boyfriends, but want to avoid the traditional dating process and minimize risk.
Estate Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 I have a great girl friend. But my male friends are introverts and not fun to hang out the female friends I do have are married cant hang out with. Long story short with I tried to find female friends on OKC I said I am dating. And happy I am 6'2 and H/W prop.( so its not a height thing) Decent looking I put pictures of me and my gf Clearly stated looking for friends only for activity partners and hanging out I live in major metro area, have car, job, etc 50 messages to 50 females 20-45 All general interest topics about their profile. no creepy sex/hookup messages All female profiles stated looking for male friends albeit single friends some sent 1 message replies but nothing developed... who ever was closest to me I messaged with 25 miles stayed away from hot and replied very selectively girls lots of girls viewed my profile. But less than 5 replied back not looking to hook up, or date them, Can't even be friends Zoned? Riddle me this one Because it's a dating website! I mean are you REALLY telling me you want to befriend these 50 women and not try to turn it into something? That's what's unattractive, if you are messaging them you want to hook up with them. They are not reading what you want in your profile, nobody does. Everyone is there for dating. Why do they need to spend time befriending someone anyway, they probably have better things to do with themselves and are busy. If they have time they will meet a guy they can consider dating. You're looking at this the WHOLE wrong way.
Estate Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 That line is usually construed as a euphemism for friends with benefits, especially on OLD. I agree with what was mentioned above, find friends through groups: meetup.com, etc. Totally agree with this. Wanting "just friends" comes off very underhanded. Either you come off so lacking in confidence that you're gonna be that clingy guy who says he wants to be "friends" but secretly pines after her. ... or else friends is saying you are not dating material, you want something casual. Either way it comes off creepy. You are to date people, so are they, you are even posting about these girls on a DATING FORUM, not a friends forum, so stop taking us all for fools here man, these girls aren't idiots and neither are we. 2
Drseussgrrl Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 It's BS that your "girlfriend" is ok with your meeting other women online for FRIENDSHIP. This would not be ok with me, or any other woman I know. 1
Author barbossa Posted February 25, 2013 Author Posted February 25, 2013 Totally agree with this. Wanting "just friends" comes off very underhanded. Either you come off so lacking in confidence that you're gonna be that clingy guy who says he wants to be "friends" but secretly pines after her. ... or else friends is saying you are not dating material, you want something casual. Either way it comes off creepy. You are to date people, so are they, you are even posting about these girls on a DATING FORUM, not a friends forum, so stop taking us all for fools here man, these girls aren't idiots and neither are we. OK, your point helps me out now that I think about it. Thank you
Author barbossa Posted February 25, 2013 Author Posted February 25, 2013 Because it's a dating website! I mean are you REALLY telling me you want to befriend these 50 women and not try to turn it into something? That's what's unattractive, if you are messaging them you want to hook up with them. They are not reading what you want in your profile, nobody does. Everyone is there for dating. Why do they need to spend time befriending someone anyway, they probably have better things to do with themselves and are busy. If they have time they will meet a guy they can consider dating. You're looking at this the WHOLE wrong way. You are right, I see it from other side now Thank you 1
Estate Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 Sorry if I was harsh man.... tough love Just be honest about it. You're there to date girls, so are they, don't be afraid to go after what you want.
outsidethebox Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 He has a great gf. He did go after what he wanted, which was female best buddies. I'm surprised he got any responses.
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