ashleeanne Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 I just really feel like I need to talk to some other people going through a similar situation. I don't have a lot of close friends or girl friends so sometimes I feel like I( just need to bounce my thoughts off someone. I was only with my ex for a little over a year. I was 24 and he was 26. I always felt like I was chasing him our entire relationship. He owns his own business and always put work first. We moved in together fairly quickly after breaking up after only dating for 2 months. I had a serious problem with drinking and I went to go get better. He got back together with his ex while I was gone and I found out and was crushed. Still I wanted to be with him and we were sort of on a break so I forgave it. Our relationship was full of excitement, we went skydiving, traveled a lot and he was extremely romantic. We also fought constantly. He talked to all his exes still, called me a Ford in comparison to another girl he called a Ferrarri (a fairly famous model he slept with before we met but who he continued to talk to) among other things. I grew so sad and lonely in our relationship and found it hard to stay sober. I didn't drink for the 13 or so months we were together again but when I started again our relationship ended. I moved out and felt like I wanted to die for two months, I quit drinking again, this time for myself, and went back to school (I graduated university but I wanted to improve my GPA and go to law school) We tried getting back together after NC for two months but it only lasted a few weeks. I shouldn't have been surprised but I was horrified all over again. I met my current boyfriend a few months later after not seeing my ex and barely texting or talking. I deleted him from my life. I have been with my boyfriend for 14 months now. My ex is back and has been begging me for another chance. I did a really stupid thing and slept with him. My boyfriend is so wonderful and I felt disgusted with what I did so I told him what happened. After kicking me out for a week or so he forgave me... The thing is my ex is still asking for another chance. He says no more of those girls, he will delete all their pictures, spend more time with me, blah blah. My new boyfriend is better looking, smarter and treats me way better. I told my ex I could not risk it. That was about a week ago. I met him face to face and we both just cried and he kept apologizing and it was so so sad. I found it very hard to walk away from him. He told me he suffered from the grass is always greener syndrome and he just realized he was a total a**hat. I have missed him everyday for over a year. I know that I will end up marrying the guy I am with. Our future is so predictable. Sometimes I hate that. I miss so many things about my ex and feel like I only turned him down because I am turning 27 soon and I am tired of messing around and can't take anymore heartbreak. I cry about it all the time, even in front of my boyfriend which makes him feel horrible like hes second best to me.Now I am the one who keeps texting my ex and telling him I miss him. He asked me to stop because I said I wouldn't give him a second chance. I feel like he broke up with me all over again even though I have a great boyfriend, I am working at a law firm and I loved my life before he came back in and started making me question it. Wth is wrong with me? My ex dated another girl for about six months who was very beautiful and taught at the university here. He told me it bothered him I "wasn't going anywhere". I sometimes feel like he only wants to be with me now because things are really starting to change for me. WHY CAN'T I SHAKE ME ATTRACTION TO THIS MAN??!?!?! It's ruining everything I have worked so hard to rebuild...
Standard-Fare Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 Nothing has changed – your ex is STILL suffering from "grass is always greener" syndrome. In this case, you're the greener grass. He sees you moving on with your life and building a foundation for long-term happiness, and he feels panicked. This **** is complicated, no doubt, but this guy really sounds like bad news. If you dismantled your current life for his sake, you know you'd regret it big time down the line. Chances are if he got you back, his greener-grass syndrome would just find some new direction. I don't know how your current boyfriend can tolerate the fact that you interact with this ex, esp. since you cheated on him. For many that would be a dealbreaker. It sounds like you're lucky to have such an understanding man. You know you can't mess that up.
H3Drvr Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 You are 27 and probably have gone through a number of relationships and life changing situations. Do you really want to throw away what you have now for your ex? If so, you might be suffering from GIGS yourself. what solid quantifiable changes has your ex made to convince you that he's a "changed" man? He may have told you he's changed but I could also tell you I'm a Saudi oil prince who looks like Channing Tatum... Be smarter then that, don't let your heart do all the thinking, listen to your head as well.
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