who knows Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 So I've been dating this guy for about 6 weeks. We have seen each other about once or twice a week and we both seemed really into eachother, but he made it clear from the get go that he wanted to take things really slow with me. After the 3rd date we kissed and from that date on we were in touch every day either by text, phone call or both. We still continued to see each other a couple of times a week, and slept together about a month in. Everything seemed to be going well, then suddenly last week he went several days without texting or calling me. I just let it be assuming he was questioning his continued interest in me, and if I pushed him to talk to me, he would just run for the hills. So I left him alone. Finally friday he texted me in the evening and said he had been very busy all week, and doesn't have time to see me this weekend, but misses me and would like to catch up on the phone. Well, I went out of town with my friends, and I didn't respond. He called the next day and left a message saying he was wondering if I had time last minute to go spend time with him that day. I texted him explaining I was out of town, and I'd let him know when I'm back. He texted back have fun, and to please call him when I'm back. Well, I'm back and my friend is telling me not to call him, just send him a text telling him I'm back and leave the ball in his court. But I kind of feel like it's a bit too much game playing. Her opinion is that he was pursuing me, then totally backed off for a week, and now he is just throwing me a bone to keep me interested, and that I should sit back and allow him pursue me, and if he doesn't just chalk it up to a guy who's just not that into me. What do you think I should do?
MsSmurf Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 I agree that is too much game playing if you refuse to call him and just wait for him to call you. Your whole relationship has lasted 6 weeks so it isn't alarming that he was unavailable for several days and then got in touch to say he was busy, but missed you. Then he calls you to talk and you're out of town so he asks you to call him when you return. Sounds to me like he is into you and he actually wants to talk to you. If you're into him then call him and talk to him. Not calling him just gives him the impression you're not that interested or are high maintenance. 1
Fallen Petals Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 If you like him, stop playing games. Let him know you're in town and ask him why he disappeared without warning. Let him know you don't mind a few days to yourself but you're just curious.
Author who knows Posted February 25, 2013 Author Posted February 25, 2013 Ok, so i took your advice, and called. He let it go to voice mail, and hasn't called back yet. I can't help but think this guy is just playing games with me...I'm so over it. Do guys really think this is going to pique a girls interest? Or is he just wanting me to chase him? Either way, it's a real turn off, and doesn't make a woman feel good....
ja123 Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 Finally friday he texted me in the evening and said he had been very busy all week' date=' and doesn't have time to see me this weekend, but misses me and would like to catch up on the phone. Well, I went out of town with my friends, and [b']I didn't respond[/b]. You should've responded. Quit with all the texting baloney and games. That type of thing never bodes well if you want to build a intimate relationship based on trust.
ja123 Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 Ok, so i took your advice, and called. He let it go to voice mail, and hasn't called back yet. I can't help but think this guy is just playing games with me...I'm so over it. Do guys really think this is going to pique a girls interest? Or is he just wanting me to chase him? Either way, it's a real turn off, and doesn't make a woman feel good.... Don't jump to conclusions, maybe he was busy and unable to take the call. The ball is in his court now to call back, when he does be nice and friedly. Don't give him a guilt trip ... even if it's communicated in a stand offish tone. Remember, you acted with spite by not responding to him because he went for a few days without texting you because he was busy (for which he apologized). Maybe he's not a big texter, or is the type that doesn't need to be joined at the hip to his gf. Are you OK with that? If not, then maybe he's not the guy for you.
MsSmurf Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 Ok, so i took your advice, and called. He let it go to voice mail, and hasn't called back yet. I can't help but think this guy is just playing games with me...I'm so over it. Do guys really think this is going to pique a girls interest? Or is he just wanting me to chase him? Either way, it's a real turn off, and doesn't make a woman feel good.... Maybe he was busy doing something and couldn't talk. I fail to understand why people automatically assume that because they get someones voicemail that the person was literally standing there watching the phone ring and refusing to answer it just to play games. Remember when he called you while you were out of town and you didn't pick up? Ummm you were busy and got in touch with him later. Instead of sitting around waiting for his call go out and live your life. You reached out to let him know you were back and you guys will connect another time. Kick up your feet and relax, hang out with your friends, or do any of the things that you could be doing instead of staring at the phone.
Author who knows Posted February 25, 2013 Author Posted February 25, 2013 No, it's BS, it's not that hard to get back to a girl you like. It's not that hard to text that you're busy, and want to connect later. He's not interested is responding, plain and simple. If a guy wants to see/talk to you he will make it happen. He obviously doesn't. At least I know my answer. I've been nothing but patient and courteous toward him. He's not given the same courtesy...I don't have the patience to deal with a grown man this way. Sorry, just venting, but it's just so frustrating.....
iKING Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 No, it's BS, it's not that hard to get back to a girl you like. It's not that hard to text that you're busy, and want to connect later. He's not interested is responding, plain and simple. If a guy wants to see/talk to you he will make it happen. He obviously doesn't. At least I know my answer. I've been nothing but patient and courteous toward him. He's not given the same courtesy...I don't have the patience to deal with a grown man this way. Sorry, just venting, but it's just so frustrating..... If this has been a continuing theme, your assumptions are likely to be true. It sounds as though some of this is game-playing but there could be sincere reasoning behind it. It's good to get it off your chest when you need to, it also may help to re-read the conversation thus far objectively, as if to pretend you were a third person giving someone else advice. It may help you to rationalize the situation as a whole and come to a conclusion as to your course of action. Try not to sit around waiting as other's have said, that's bound to make you crazy. Analyze the situation, come to a conclusion, and move on with your life. It's best not to let other's strange behavior dictate your course of thinking. Let them play their games if the want to, but stay true to yourself. 1
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