Cogee Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 Kobe man! Don't talk to anyone about her, and if someone starts mentioning her just request that they stop. You really need to forget about her and ignore anything she says. At this point it's a big game of "he says, she says" and it does you no good.
Author Kobe2345 Posted April 16, 2013 Author Posted April 16, 2013 (edited) I know, im just torturin myself with this, god dang it, honestly i felt super bad these last 3 days knowing she was hurt, i didnt understand her needs and then being ignorant and not listening to her, sigh… i want to apoglogize but i dont think she even cares now anyways, shes off with having fun with some other dude... While im at home killing myself.... ****k Its all over now… i suck Edited April 16, 2013 by Kobe2345
Author Kobe2345 Posted April 19, 2013 Author Posted April 19, 2013 Well, Its been three months, i gotta say, THIS IS FKEN HARD.... I feel like im taking one step forward two steps back.... THE HELL. i want her back.. i can't, i want to move on, i can't.... i just can't win......... FREAKEN A
Kenji Posted April 20, 2013 Posted April 20, 2013 Sometimes, we have to forgive ourselves for the mistakes we made, and we have to understand that she made mistakes as well. Hang in there, man. Just tell yourself that if you crack now, you might feel as though you've wasted the past three months. Don't go back now. When you feel like giving up, remind yourself why you didn't for so long.
Author Kobe2345 Posted April 20, 2013 Author Posted April 20, 2013 (edited) i really felt worst than the before, knowing that i apologized to her, knowing that this relationship meant so much to me, i know i got comfortable at the end, but there was really nothing we couldn't resolve... i loved her deeply, and when she ran off with another guy, it really felt like a knife was stabbed through my heart, i can't seem to move on once again. This is where i feel like im really going to crumble.... Edited April 20, 2013 by Kobe2345
Author Kobe2345 Posted April 24, 2013 Author Posted April 24, 2013 Today suppose to be our 3 years together... FEELING SUPER DOWN TODAY. HELP!
denxnis Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 I'm right there with you man. Ask yourself this, what aspects of your life have you improved since the break-up? Would you have improved in these areas if you were to say, still be with your ex? How much worst would it be if she left you after you've gotten married, maybe had a child or two?
Author Kobe2345 Posted April 24, 2013 Author Posted April 24, 2013 (edited) Well, not going to lie, i have matured so much and i learned that i have much more areas i need to improve for myself, and for relationships in general also, I think one of the major factors to my breakup was because i'm boring to her.. but yeah your right, i guess i really have learned a lot more stuff from this breakup haha... But its just i don't know why i still want to be with her, i guess im stupid sometimes... i still have a lot of growing up to do.. Edited April 24, 2013 by Kobe2345
Teas Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 Hey Kobe, Here's my personal journey & story. I'm not in your exact same position, but I can totally relate to some of the feelings that you're going through right now. I'm 24, my ex is 23. We were together for 8 months, but in many ways the relationship was accelerated (we shared the same bed, saw each other pretty much 24/7) No doubt we had many great times, went for many adventures, explored the world together. I truly cared about her and she was the first girl I took really seriously and saw myself having a future with. Shall not venture into the lengthy details, but my reality was shaken when she cheated on me with my favourite professor who was my buddy and whom I treated as an elder brother. That broke me, and the double betrayal stings (even though it hurts significantly less) till today. I have been made to feel like I am the "bad guy" by many of her friends that don't know the truth as to the circumstances of our breakup. But you know what I realised? There's no point explaining to everyone what happened just to see "justice" served.. Her friends will always be on her side. I know you're hurting right now, and there are days that seem too long and dark to pass. When you're beaten to the ground, knees deep in the mud, the only way is up. Was trawling the net a couple of days ago and this clip from "Rocky" really inspired me to keep my chin up. I don't know who you are, and where you're from, but if you want this bad enough, I promise you you'll get out of this dark tunnel alive. Hang strong buddy, and take care. PS. The rest are right. NC is key to recovery. Had to do LC for a while (and that wasn't easy too) since we're taking 2 classes together but now that the semester has ended, its time to go cold turkey, and I plan to keep it that way. 2
Author Kobe2345 Posted April 25, 2013 Author Posted April 25, 2013 Thanks for your story teas, nice video btw.... But yeah, we never addresses the issues at all when we met... The communication is poor.... I just feel like we can talk things out and fix things… ahhhhhhhh
bluecrabroll Posted April 25, 2013 Posted April 25, 2013 Hey Kobe, I've been reading the whole thread. We must have the same girlfriend. Mine left me after 3 years for no good reason whatsoever. Strong me along and gave me hope for 6 months (promised me things were gonna be better, she is figuring her life out, seeing me for the holidays) then started seeing someone 3 weeks after we hung out at her family's house for Christmas and still proceeded to take my phone payments. We're both 30. The guy she is seeing is someone she has been saying "close friends at work". I'm sure scumbags like them are always after our girls and my ex got lured. She has GIGS cause she could never ever point out a valid reason to leave me and was confused all the time and thought maybe she would be happier elsewhere. I have also been NC for 2 months, my bday just passed without anything from her. Our aniversary is coming up and she took my last phone bill payment last month (even though with this dude). I'm also going crazy because I feel betrayed and angered and sad. And at times I want to text or call her and explode my feelings and emotions onto her but I know it will not change anything. We both have to accept that they are gone, they do not want to be with us no matter the memories or the past- they are in a honeymoon phase with the new things. My ex and I are both doctors, so I am guessing she has some adult adolescent issues to deal with. It is better to have these emotions because it shows that you truly loved them- anger, resentment, sadness than nothing at all. I am battling with wishing her bad things but in actuality I want her to be happy because I still love her. Just let life fall into place and make yourself better. If your ex were to come back she would want to come back to a person that is better and stronger and independent. I am going through this with you, for me its almost been a year of confusion and hope and sadness. I haven't been happy in a year because of her. Now it is time for me. Let her realize what she is missing out on one day. Keep strong and we'll get through this together. 1
denxnis Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 Was trawling the net a couple of days ago and this clip from "Rocky" really inspired me to keep my chin up. Great clip.
Author Kobe2345 Posted April 26, 2013 Author Posted April 26, 2013 I got a great video also... i watch this everyday lol.. my motivation...
Author Kobe2345 Posted April 26, 2013 Author Posted April 26, 2013 (edited) You're right, I am being a little bitch about this, and im crying my sorry ass for her... i know its stupid and retarded, but i guess thats how i feel because i loved her.. oh and i'm not pinning for her all day, i have school to worry about and i go out almost everyday, But thats just how i feel, I can't turn off my feelings for someone i once cared and loved for.. The only thing i can say is that i guess i don't want it bad enough and i cant let go... Edited April 26, 2013 by Kobe2345 1
Betterman31 Posted May 11, 2013 Posted May 11, 2013 (edited) I totally understand what your going through Kobe. Its hard to lose those feelings....damn them! Im now 5 weeks NC and feel as though ive stalled in my progression. Been ill this week so not been able to workout and go out as much as I have been doing and having time off work gave me time to dwell which hasn't really been productive! I can't lose this little bit of hope I have remaining that when this guy leaves for the summer she will come back. I know I shouldn't want her back but I guess im attached haha. These next few months are going to be intresting to see how things pan out! Also went on a date with a girl from work, went well but sadly just made me realise how not ready for someone else I am as i just compared and made me miss her more! Guess ill be giving myself a timeout for the time being even though it sucks being on your own. Hows things with you ? Hope things have started going better P.S Sorry for the slow reply! Edited May 11, 2013 by Betterman31
Author Kobe2345 Posted May 17, 2013 Author Posted May 17, 2013 Yo betterman! I've been good man, HBU? I hope everything is going well for you and your situation Anyways Its been a while since i have been on here, been busy with school and other stuff. But not sure how to begin.. So i had a lot of time since the breakup to reflect and just looked at myself where i am at in my life, i looked at some of my flaws i had and i really needed to improve for myself, i also felt like i had put my education on the back burner while i was with her, i didn't care much about my grades and i focused on her a lot until the very end.. where i got comfortable. But after all this, I guess i'm going to dive into school and chase my career.. So i guess that's a good thing? haha But back to the situation.. Been on NC for a while now not sure how long it is, i feel ALOT better and got my sh*t together lol, but I still miss her and there is hope still.. oh wells not sure what to do next.. But i'll keep things updated.
cinta_satu Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 kobe, just read your story. sounds very familiar to mine with the exception of minor details. i've been NC since April except when she contacted me to check in on me earlier this month. seems like you've been making some good progress. keep at it. there will be times when you feel like you've taken a step back and can't stop thinking about her. that's fine, it's bound to happen. the key is to keep your eye on what's ahead. i still have that sense of hope deep down inside like you do. i can't seem to shake it even though i know she's with someone else 2 months after a 3 year RS - and my ex doesn't date casually so chances are this guy is the one. but stay strong and keep moving forward.
Betterman31 Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 Hey Kobe, Sounds like we are pretty much doing the same things and at the same point after our breakups. Like you I lost focus on my career and studies which I'm now starting to rectify. I still miss her but Im starting to get to a point where I actually go hours without realising i've not thought about her (its quite scary letting go) What sucks is all my mates are currently attached and talking about trips this summer as couples (this never happened in 2.5 yrs i was in my RS), im invited but I feel like ill just be the 3rd wheel. Sigh. 2-3 weeks till the douchebag leaves. Lets see if she realises her mistake. Im glad to see your doing better and not on LS as often haha. Always a positive sign!
icecain Posted May 25, 2013 Posted May 25, 2013 (edited) i was also dumped by my ex girlfriend and we were together for almost 3 years. she left me for someone who works at the same place as her. when we were together we would only meet during the weekends and even when we hung out she was constantly texting him. being open minded i didnt think much about it because i'm not the kind of person who is insecure, i had faith and trusted her that she will stay faithful. one day we had a fight, we didnt contact each other for the whole of next day, which means she must have been texting him. i saw their text by accident because she was sleeping with her phone on her hand so when i took it away i looked at her phone and saw the message, the guy said that he still misses his ex girlfriend and felt really good and happy whenever he talks to my ex. so he gave her appreciation.(before the fight) not that i did not but they were constantly meeting on a daily basis and this puts me at an disadvantage. when i asked her who she was texting she said she was texting her friend. 3 days later she told me she was dating him already. i was devastated and felt like i meant nothing to her. she said he makes her happy and that is a really nice guy. i pleaded and begged and i could sense her happiness over the phone because i was heart broken. my friend who works at the same place as them later told me that this douche said even if he and my ex girlfriend dont work out he will try his best to never let her come back to me again. my friends told me that whatever she is doing is her problem and no longer mine. if she made the wrong decision then she will have to face the consequences. but i really cared and love her, so i wouldnt want to see her get hurt, i'm pretty sure the guy is interested because he's single and wants to have someone to fill his ex girlfriend's gap in his life and sex of course! the most confusing part is that she didnt take time to grieve about the loss of this relationship and she said that i was a mistake! how can someone who loved and was in a relationship together for almost 3 years just forget you almost instantly, i'm pretty sure the new guy manipulated her mind into making her completely forget me or at least hate me! since he already made it clear that even if they dont work out he will try his best to make her not come back to me. i'm not sure if my ex girlfriend is using him as a rebound or that she was cheating on me emotionally and waiting for everything to be in place before kicking me to the curb! she's my first love. they are very intimate now, i'm disgusted by her for giving herself away so easily! p.s. this tread really helped me alot because it helped me to slowly accept the breakup! Edited May 25, 2013 by icecain 1
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