bella8611 Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 I've posted in the break up sections before, naïvely thinking my ex had just casually gone back to sleeping with a girl he use to sleep with last year. I believed him because she never felt like a threat and he said he didn't care about her like that and she isn't girlfriend material. I've been doing nc but not successfully I keep going on his social network site and now I've started looking at hers. I've seen discovered that she actually a lot more then casual. He bought her a belated valentines card ( she was on holiday on the day) which stated I love you on it and now today some new shoes which she has captioned valentines day present. Looking back over his Facebook it looks like there was more to it when they dated last time and I'm pretty sure there serious this time after only 7 weeks since me!!! I'm so angry I feel like a fool I was his complete rebound but he let me fall for him and then dropped me as soon as she moved back to town. I want to break nc to tell him I know the true because as far as he knows I still think its just a casual thing and there just mates. I've just cried all day and then flipped to being angry, why didn't I just get the truth at the start. Do you think its worth breaking nc as a sort of closure for me? I feel like I need to vent to him. Help me.
SumthinAwful Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 No, it's definitely not worth breaking NC over. Here's why, he doesn't care right now. You want to vent your anger, you want him to acknowledge your hurt. All it's really going to accomplish is give him more of an ego boost. You don't want to do that. Stick with your NC, you'll be much better off. I know that this hurts, I've been there, being the rebound sucks and when you don't see it coming it's horrendous. For what it's worth, he did like you. He didn't just pick any old person off the street. It was just that he wasn't capable. It's not fair, and it's a horrible thing to do to someone, but it IS NOT about you. It's about him. I had a guy come back to me almost a year after dong something similar to me. He wanted to try things again. I said no because I was at that point WAY over everything that had transpired between us. He did tell me that he wished he had stayed and that it was a mistake and that I was a great girl, blah blah blah. Just keep up what you're doing and remember that the only reason this happened is because you were a great catch who he wasn't ready to have. It's his loss, NOT yours. <<Hug>> 2
lullaby Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 I’m sorry you had to go through that. If you see my post on “I just found out he cheated on me” you’ll see there’s something similar between our stories and I know how you feel. I found out about him going out with her through facebook, because I suspected from her, and there I saw, he even met her parents when we were still together. I finally blocked him and her from every possible account and it was a great relief, so I would recommend you to do that. I was thinking of contacting him too but in the end, I realized it would be a waste of time. Like bella8611 said, he doesn’t care right now and it would be an ego boost, you would be showing him he was important to you, and would you want someone so coward to know he meant something to someone? You know what I did? I wrote a letter, to him, I put it all there, but didn’t send it, and it helped. I know it hurts, and even more when you don’t see it coming, but trust me, eventually it all comes back and someone will do to him what he did to you or even worse because he deserves it. The best revenge is being happy and move forward. Of course, easier said than done and believe me I’m still hurt for what he did to me but I’m trying to move on and forget everything about him, he doesn’t deserve another tear from me. Let him live his life and eventually karma will find him.
TaraMaiden Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 Let him live his life and eventually karma will find him. No it won't. 'Karma' is what he's DOING. Karma is what everybody does. Karma merely means 'Volitional Action' but it's non-retributional, non-judgemental and not critical. It just - 'is'. Karma kicks nobody's ass, and is not 'what comes around. Karma is just what we think, say and do, in active mode. That's it.
lullaby Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 No it won't. 'Karma' is what he's DOING. Karma is what everybody does. Karma merely means 'Volitional Action' but it's non-retributional, non-judgemental and not critical. It just - 'is'. Karma kicks nobody's ass, and is not 'what comes around. Karma is just what we think, say and do, in active mode. That's it. Ok. Karma or not, I do think that whatever we do has a response and a consequence. I meant to say she should let him live the way he wants to, and she should not seek revenge.
TaraMaiden Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 I understand exactly what you meant. I'm sure the OP did too..... But I just get a bee in my bonnet about people bandying the word 'karma' around as if it's some kind of High-Court judge brandishing a baseball bat. (sorry. It's a bit of a sticking point with me..... )
lullaby Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 I understand exactly what you meant. I'm sure the OP did too..... But I just get a bee in my bonnet about people bandying the word 'karma' around as if it's some kind of High-Court judge brandishing a baseball bat. (sorry. It's a bit of a sticking point with me..... ) It's ok I understand what you mean, karma was not the proper word. I do hope all these bastards can someday see the pain they cause
TaraMaiden Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 Let me at 'em. I'll even happily dress up as a High-Court Judge brandishing a baseball bat. You're right. But trust me, occasionally, it does happen, and I know of 2 cases, personally, where the schyster got shafted. 1
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