js1967 Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 Im into a week of my first real big breakup, where I was tottally blindsided, dumped. I would equate it to being a dog, who had a happy home, was told to go get in the car. Driven to the middle of nowhere, car door opens, and a ball was thrown to go fetch. The car door slams and they drive away leaving me. More painful then my divorce which is really strange to me for some reason. Anyway Im coping and adjusting well with mostly because of this website has been very helpful Ive adopted and held true to not contacting. I have deleted her and any friend we mutually shared on facebook. Now Im dealing with the end of a weekend, wondering what she is doing, worse yet if she was out with someone else, possibly intimate which is driving me NUTS. How the heck do others deal with this stuff. I want to not think that way, but I cant stop. Undoing all the social media contacts has basically cut me off from even getting a hint to what she is doing or done. 1
na49 Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 I would ask yourself if you really want to know what she's up to. You don't. You want her to be in her bed, looking at pictures of you two, crying her eyes out. She's not doing that. She might still be emotional, but she's moving on. She may have met someone new, what were her reasons for leaving you? She may have had her eyes on someone new for a while. If you're that curious, then look at her facebook. Sometimes we need to touch fire to know it's hot. How do I deal with it? Well I struggle just as bad as you do. Some days are just better than others. Right now I don't really care what she's doing. I just don't want to know about it. You have to realize that finding out what they're up to, never helps us. Seeing them living their life without us and being okay with it? That sucks! stay strong!
Author js1967 Posted February 24, 2013 Author Posted February 24, 2013 Im trying to stay strong. we were very close, she is one of these people who loved to be intimate, hug, hold hands -just a wonderful great person. Then blindsided and dumped after a short period of 3 weeks or so where she appeared to be rather distant. Not cold or mean, just rather distant. Short text repsonses, un returned calls, really strange. Im kicking myself for not connecting the dots and trying to possibly mend things before the dumping happend. VDay comes, a dozen roses are given, that night I got a phone call shrt and sweet, I was dumped. Just blindsided. I can help feeling the way I do, Im trying to fight it, but I didnt ask for this I just cant imagine her with another man. It drives me nuts! I have had many freinds tell me, she was probaly chatting with someone, considering things, dumped me to move on to him. She is not the cheating type. Her reason for dumping was, she wanted to just be alone, go into her Caccoon and figure out where she wanted to go in life.
na49 Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 I know how you feel dude. My ex was the same way. Loved to be intimate. We walked to classes together holding hands. We rarely ever walked together not holding hands. We kissed and hugged in public. She sat on my lap in public (damn I miss that sh*t..) I was nervous at times, but I loved every minute of it. Makes me hope I get a girl like that again.. Well now that I'm done drooling over how great the intimacy was. You have to listen to what she's telling you. If she wants to be alone, she wants to be alone. I'm sure your ex is a great person. and like my ex, I never thought she'd cheat. and then she did. You don't know people as well as you think you do. I'm not saying she cheated, but no one tells the person they're breaking up with "I want to date this new guy instead" they all give the "I need to be alone" excuse. I heard that too. My ex told me she didn't want to date for a year. I think she's got a new boyfriend already.
calgary Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 that's exactly how you describe the feeling well done! I'm still in pain over it 6 weeks later, I cut all contact. it sucks so much!
Author js1967 Posted February 24, 2013 Author Posted February 24, 2013 Her last contact was that it was not about me, She wanted and needs to be alone. From what others have said, thats being polite for, "Im not interested in you anymore, and yes Im considering someone new." Im Sick with the thought and visual images that are in my head of seeing her with anyone else. SICK! I really do wish the reality was she really does want to be curled up in a ball in her room figuring out her life. What does anyone think... 1.With a new man Or 2.Curled up in her room, alone... figuring things out?
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