I cant deal with loosing my boyfriend

[xbabycakes]

Ive been with my boy, my world for two years and we lived together in his house and were best friends, we had our own language and played silly little games 24/7 and just loved each other very much. Every so often I started arguments when he went out drinking on weekends (which I now regret)

 

We split up for about 5 days a year ago and I took all my stuff & went back to my mums after a heated row but I couldnt take the pain and came back to his with a meal and we laughed about it & got back together.

 

Weve also had little rows and ive gone home to my mums for a day or 2 a few times and hes begged me to come back or when i was in the wrong ive turned up with gifts & we were great again.

 

Now a week ago we had a big row (my fault but he over-reacts) and he told me to take all my stuff and never come back , I went back to my mums and thought within a day or 2 would be fine again but he wasnt I begged him and told him how much he was to me etc but he just kept saying 'not going to happen I dont want a gf anymore' and he went out clubbing the whole weekend, on the Saturday i bumped into him in a club and he introduced me as his girlfriend but said we was on a break.

 

When I left i said what was going on and he said 'this is just a break so we miss each other we will be back to how we were in a week!' Happy I spoke to him today and said maybe we could watch a Dvd wednesday when he said 'I dont really want to get back together , sorry I just want to be alone, Im not going to go with any other girls' Im hearbroken again, what can I do? I love him so much and cant live without him, hes my everything, everything I do I do for him!

 

I was thinking about buying him a expensive shirt hes really wanted & turn up & give it to him (I no its wrong to try & buy my way in but if ican get in I no he will remember how much he loves me,

 

And it kills me to think hes going to be clubbing every weekend and will sooner or later meet someone else :'( Please help, sorry for the long story

[SendHope]

I'm sorry that you're hurting.

 

You won't like this advice but it's time to look out for yourself. Me and my ex ended for the same reason. You cannot make them change their mind and while its ok to plead and beg for a bit you should eventually stop. Continuing to do so would just reinforce their decision as your worth to them go down in front of their eyes.

 

My heart feels for you as you're helplessly deeply in love with him. You should hold off with the t-shirt. You're setting yourself for another heartache if he rejects you.

 

You need to go No Contact and work on living life without him. Do not respond to small msgs or anything unless it's about reconciliation. Trust me, if he wants to be with you, nothing is going to stop him from letting you know.

[Lillygoose]

STOP- before you buy him that shirt!!

 

 

He sounds personally like he doesn't know what he wants, changing his mind constantly. And that isn't fair on you.

 

I know you love him, I am going through it too. however, you cant just be there when he wants you there. Your living your life for him, hes the one in charge hes the one making the decisions for what you will do with whatever he nexts says.

 

So if he decides he wants you back you will go running, then he will do this again. He isn't caring about you at the moment just himself. Which is a dick thing to do.

 

You sound like an amazing girl, but think about this you deserve to have people in your life that will make an effort to be there and want to be in your life.

 

And he isn't making the effort and at the moment he is sounding like he doesn't want to be there.

 

You deserve someone good in your life

 

xx

everyones situation is different, so chin up take it a day by day and rant on here every day if need be!

[KatZee]

If he's not interested in being with you then there is NOTHING you can do to convince him otherwise. Buying him things, begging, pleading, crying, professing your love... all that does is make you look weak and pathetic in his eyes.

 

Men want women who have value. It sounds like you lost a lot of your value throughout the course of these two years. You say it yourself, you made your whole world about him. GUYS DO NOT WANT THIS. They want a woman who is able to live life on her own without him. Men want to be WANTED not NEEDED.

 

The way you act with him and the way you come off here is EXTREMELY needy. Acting like this only pushes guys away. He said he wanted space, and instead you asked him to watch a movie with you.

 

Don't ever make a guy your world, because if/when they leave you, you're left with nothing. You need to cultivate your own life, your own friendships, your own interests.

 

You also lose value when you chase someone who is saying they don't want to be with you. You further lose your dignity and respect in their eyes. Don't ever chase someone who is unsure of you. You want to be with someone who WANTS you, not someone who's manipulated or guilted into being with you. Do you want him to be with you because he feels so sorry for you that you bought him a shirt?

 

NC NC NC. Focus on you right now.