DoveHeart Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 I have been dating a man for about 5 years. We are both in our 30's and the past few years have been incredible.... The one hard thing about our relatinoship is that he constantly has these seemingly unachieveable pipe dreams that are unrealistic at best.... It is like listening to someone say "hey - here is my plan for retirement - win on American Idol". He never sees the full picture and only sees what he wants to see when it comes to his dreams... He is currently in the process of making a very *bad* financial decision IMHO... He cashed in his 401K (worth 40 K of which he is left with 25 K after taxes) He wants to take the remainder of his money and buy a distressed property in the bad part of town, fix it up (so that it is somewhat livable ) and rent it out...he says he is going to have multiple properties like this and rent them out and get rich and go and retire and live like a king in Ecuador.... I know, you are reading this and your first thought is probably "he needs to grow up!"...I have thought the same thing. I have tried to be the voice of reason, but he wont listen. I have told him that buying a 25K house , he is probably going to have to sink another 50K into it (which he doesn't have) plus, insurance, lawyer fees, etc and he says he has thought of all of these things. I am also afraid because he is looking at homes that are for sale on craigslist for 25K (huge red flag) He says I don't know anything and that he already has a lawyer and an inspector etc. He thinks that being a slumlord is just going to be easy money and I am sure he has not thought about people he is going to have to evict, getting calls at 3AM for busted pipes etc. He is NOT very handy at ALL and he HATES dealing with people so...there you go... The worst part...He is going to be living in a bad part of town and wont get the income he is dreaming of in rent money I am sure (he is convinced that it will turn around by virture of the fact that it is in the city) and I have told him I will not visit him there. It is breaking my heart watching him sink all his time and energy into something that is only going to probably ruin him financially, cause him frustration and he will probably end of losing money...he does not have a back up plan...so once he loses his money. That's it. He used to be carefree and fun to be around and now he has turned into this obsessive "I am going to get rich quick and retire slumlord" person that is hard to be around. Hearing him constantly talk about how great it is going to be just makes me sick at this point especially since I have friends that have tried to do the same thing and needless to say, it is not a glamorous wealthy picture that they paint in the least bit.... We have gotten into two arguments about it now...I have tried pleading with him to the point of sobbing just not to do it and he won't listen. It is like talking to someone with "gold fever" and all they can see is the money and up side and wont listen to reason or reality. It is breaking my heart and it is also breaking my heart that the physical distance will be greater plus he will be in a bad part of town that I would not even let my dog visit.... I feel so helpless and sad at this point. I love him so much - I don't know how to cope anymore...if I should just give up on him and the relationship and go on and live my life at this point? It makes me so sad...he never used to be this way. Wondering if it is a mid life crisis thing.... anyone else out there have a BF or GF that just made an off the wall decision one day to do something bad financially or otherwise? How did you cope?
FitChick Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 Wouldn't his money go farther if he bought a house in Ecuador? There would probably be fewer rules, he could bribe public officials, etc. When he becomes homeless and destitute do NOT let him live with you. Just be thankful you are not married to this bum because he'd drag you down the drain with him. Live, learn and move on.
apple OR orange Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 I think a good question is, why are you still with him, there are at least 2 threads about really nice guys who can never get women, so there interest in your answer would be good here, your with someone whos a muppet, why is that? As for your situation, hes not going to listen, so i would let him do what he wants, then find someone else on the side, if he makes it, great, when he doesnt.... well you need to deal with it...
Recommended Posts